Mental Health Help, I lost my inner voice after 3 years of taking Haloperidol

[Kayva]

Hi I was forced to take this Haloperidol by doctor for 3 years because of grandeur delusions and not eating. Don't take this drug. It sucks. I don't believe I have Schizophrenia but I had a psychosis temporary. I didn't really hallucinate or had problem hearing voices although I heared some random voices like 3 times but it's natural. I think my problem was I had too much dopamine, not really a problem I just needed time to adjust instead of being taken to mental hospital because i didn't do anything weird or illegal. I had alot of confidence and felt like I was on Speed without any drugs. At beginning I was very talkative I could talk nonstop. Haloperidol made me really quiet (everyone tells me I'm quiet) and made me lose interest in everything. I was going to kill myself. Right now after I stopped taking it for 3 months I still have hard time with making new thoughts, my brain is really quiet, I have to force myself to initiate an inner dialogue inside my head. Right now I really think about nothing, cannot spend more than 30minute learning something. I have become boring, lame and uncreative like everyone else. I used to be very interesting and funny.

I have taken Olanzapine and it was a good drug. I should have just taken that but my doctor insisted that i take this junk. I know my neurotransmitters are f-ed up as result of taking Haldrol. What you guys think is the problem? I still say simple things like "I'm so stupid" but have no inner voice or conversation in my head. My mind is blank. What drugs you think will help me? I live in Australia which has the most expensive market for illegal drugs. I have enough experience to not get in trouble. I will experiment with all kinds of drugs and supplements starting within the next few months.

Also forgot to mention, I used to exercise at least 1 hour everyday now no motivation or willpower. I also have problem dieting or sexual abstinence. Before I had alot of self-control.

 

[Kayva]

First thing I'm going to try is going to be Phenylethylamine (PEA) and Hordenine stack. Mainly because I found them cheap on ebay. $33 total, worth giving a shot.

 

[Shrubbity]

I feel the exact same way buddy. Nothing goes on in my head, I don't have a train of thought. Nothing sparks complex thoughts and the only recurring thoughts I do have are both extremely quiet and revolve around my f-ed situation. When I do manage to speak it's as if the words are forced out of my mouth with no analysis of their value. I have no personality and it's boring as hell. My memory is absolutely battered too, I can't remember anything. I've given my brain periods to recover without doing drugs and barely improved, so now I've just returned to being a full-on sensualist. The only semi-enjoyable drug is ketamine as all others have lost their pleasure (booze and benzos just mong me out, stimulants give me intense anxiety and comedown, weed makes me paranoid). I've probably got drug-induced psychosis (I've been psychotic quite a few times from drugs).

 

[cj]

Jesus that sounds rough. I wish I had an answer