Mental Health Adjustment disorder with anxiety. Feeling better causes more anxiety?

[merseyside8]

So I** was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with anxiety. My psychiatrist told me that she believes it’s a short term issue cause of a life episode i had back in June. i have been feeling a whole lot better! But i just feel that the better I’m doing, the more anxiety I’m getting. This is been happening a lot lately. I’m on medication and she’s tapering me off Lexapro already. Is this a common issue with people?? Every time i get hyper focused on how well I’m doing it causes the anxiety to come on.

 

[Scrofula]

I've always thought there's a special anxiety that comes when nothing's happening. It's sounds like boredom or ennui, but the feeling's intense, and leads me toward depression.

I think it could be as simple as having no distractions or emotional focus, I start to drift toward some default "readiness". Not the same thing as being afraid that some disaster is coming, it's a kind of emotional arousal that won't leave. I mean, it's useful for when disasters do happen, because you're ready for them. After a while you start to hope for some event that's emotionally deep.

So to answer your question, yes, I always feel worse when everything's OK. The higher the stress levels, the better I feel.

 

[merseyside8]

I also do believe that to be true. When nothing’s going on i start getting sensations. Focusing is the hard part and not working at the moment isn’t helping either which i just start thinking about it more. For me i wouldn’t say that l feel worse when everything’s okay tho. Being stressed is unpleasant for me.

Ever since the life episode that happened I’ve had really bad anxiety that it became the new normal and now that I’m getting better from it by seeing a therapist and psychiatrist it’s going well. But now going back to “normal” is a hard adjustment.

 

[herbavore]

I don't know any of the details of what your life trauma was (and I am not asking for them if you prefer they remain private) but calling any response to trauma a disorder seems counterproductive. Life experiences have their own flow, their own stages and phases. I know that for me, after my son died, there have been actual stages of grief even over losing some of the rawness of the pain. In a way, it kept me more connected to his living being. As time has gone on, there is even grief for the grief. I have learned with this process the best thing to do is to stay fluid with my emotions and experience.

One thing that is also possible is that you are developing a fear of having to be more productive or more engaged or more responsible for yourself. If you have been victimized by someone, or even by an experience of trauma, sometimes the victim role gets very familiar and comfortable. My advice is to keep working with your doctors but to also let yourself go through the natural stages of healing from a trauma--it's not usually a straight line so don't let that freak you out either.

 

[merseyside8]

Im willing to share my trauma. I had a trip to mexico where i took too much crystal meth. Im really oblivious when it comes to drugs. I only did cocaine for couple years like 10-15 total times. When i bought some drugs in mexico i thought it was coke but actually it was crystal meth and i took too much. I was in and out of hospitals for like 4 days. I thought i was going to die. Worst day of my life. They gave me valium in mexico to deal with the withdrawals but when i ran out is when this all started. I got blood work and EKGs done and all came out fine. Its all mental in my head now. My psychiatrist is who diagnosed me with this. Taking CBT and although its helping i just feel more susceptible to panic now. I felt anxiety since mexico for like 3 straight months and it became the new normal. So now im getting better i dont feel anything which freaks me out.

I love how you said natural stages of healing from a trauma. Not always a straight line.... I love that.

 

[herbavore]

That sounds really terrifying. I'm glad that you made it through that safely. Although what you are going through now is difficult, I'm glad you made it home! I travel a lot in Mexico and Latin America and I always want to have my wits about me. I'm thankful you got to a hospital and that you were not plunged into the corrupt legal system. This is not to minimize what you are going through now.