hallucinating psychotic breakdown imminent what the fuck?

[isaaccain]

I've been awake on speed and mandy for the past 3 days and I expected to just get off it and go to bed and sleep for a while but there's fucking insects all around my bedroom window and a spider lowered itself down from the ceiling then I jumpped out of bed and looked at it from the side and it just got bigger and bigger and it looked like a claw then I saw something that looked like bandages and I think it had religious connotations bc they hung from each wrist and all I could think it was was a crucifix or something anyway since then all sorts of spider looking creatures have been flying at me. They all look like they're made of silk and they all grow bigger and bigger until I hit them away with an empty coke bottle. I've been doing this for about an hour now. I'm acting like a proper crack head and it's pissing me off. The patterns on the ceiling keep flowing like a river and I somehow managed to see a mirrored view of my left eye only but the mirror was slanted. I can see closed eye patterns and before little orbs of purple and pink and orange plasma looking stuff rose up from the ground and met me at eye level and then just formed the structure of an atom or the solar system or something and those bits were really cool and interesting and pretty unique to what I've seen on acid but now I'm actually scared and really paranoid too. Any cracks in the plaster on the wall turns into a weird flying bug and moths are actually my biggest fucking fear and it's really fucking dodgy what am I meant to do here?

 

[Tranced]

Hey man,

For starters I can assure and remind you that, no matter how real the hallucinations seem, a sober person would not be able to see them, and they are not a part of your normal operating reality. You have been awake for a long time taking drugs which are known to cause this effect, and they are very common hallucinations.

The longer you stay up, the worse the hallucinations will become, and the longer they will continue. You need to chill out and get to sleep. In this kind of situation I would highly reccomend a sleep aid - particularly if it can mitigate the anxiety and possibly blunt the hallucinations (i.e a benzo). If not, you can try alcohol, or even chamomile tea (try quite a few tea bags at once).

It would also help to just try and clear your mind of any thoughts with meditation to try and facilitate sleep. Remember that they are hallucinations and can not hurt you. You simply need to make sleeping of the most imperative importance.

Good luck dude, and let us know how you get on. After this, be sure to lay off the drugs and sleep deprivation for a while.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

Insect hallucinations are just about the most common visual hallucination to occur with sleep deprivation/stimulant use.

Definitely get some sleep and be careful in the future. Some people are more vulnerable than others to hallucinations/psychosis with sleep deprivation. Don't be afraid to go to the clinic and be honest with the doctors, they could give you a drug to help you get some sleep. Most definitely get some professional help if things worsen or if you can't sleep again tonight.

 

[Thou]

Get yourself a tranquilizer and cut out on the speed a little. Maybe diclazepam or kratom anything to calm down. Avoid sugar, take mad b vitaminsm, maybe a bath. I know a guy sells cbd bath bombs his mom swears by them for arthrititis. Tangent, sorrry


Oh, and Drink Water.

 

[Tranced]

It seems to me that once you have an episode like this some kind of filter is opened (whatever that means/involves), which will then remain open. Whether or not it remains ajar and only opens when on drugs or is blown completely off the hinges is largely dependent on how you look after yourself/allow yourself to take drugs/become sleep deprived etc.

I'd really tread wearily, and put an end to those three day sessions.

 

[Thou]

I'd really tread wearily, and put an end to those three day sessions.

Wisdom.

 

[isaaccain]

alright I did exactly the opposite of what I should have done and went out and did .8 grams more mandy so it turned into a four day sesh but to be fair I got back by 2 and there were no spiders except on the way home and they were different spiders they weren't the moth looking ones which scared me more so I wasn't that paranoid and when I got back I managed to be in bed for 4 and slept 8 hours and there were still spiders when I woke up so maybe my heads just a bit wrecked now but I should be alright for school tomorrow I'm hoping thanks for telling me to drink water I was actually proper dehydrated x

 

[Tranced]

^That's a pretty err... inventive method for dealing with sleep dep induced psychosis you had there!

Seriously though isaaccain, heed the warnings. You woke up and the spiders were still there i.e you were (are...?) still hallucinating after an eight hour sleep. That would not happen if you were simply experiencing the normal hallucinatory effects of taking the drugs (i.e the MDMA).

Like I say, once that filter is open, it seems like its always just a few doses or another day or two awake away. Just read the meth psychosis threads in best of bluelight. They might be posted in good humour, but a lot of those people went so far down the rabbit hole that they'll never be the same again. It starts off with bugs and next thing you know you're looking for wiretaps and cameras in the walls, and believing something is 'going on' even when sober. The lines between drug/sleep induced psychosis and your normal reality can (will) become increasingly blurred. Sketchy banter is not something to willingly invite into your life!

Hoping things were okay today dude... interested to know what you think about it all! x

Edit: method psychosis thread - http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/38590-Meth-psychosis-stories-you-know-you-have-one

 

[isaaccain]

ahah I'll give the meth psychosis stories page a read but I'm thankful now that all my hallucinations are gone. I managed to get into school yesterday for about an hour but I'm just proper tired because it's been such a heavy two weeks. I've had somewhere around 3.7 grams of MDMA between the start of half term and last Saturday as well as 300mg of prescription amphetamines and a load of concerta as well. I'm giving MDMA a 28 day break and I'm not taking any other stimulants for 2 weeks, which is a shame because I have 2 grams of coke I still need to clean. I'm feeling more or less normal except for problems with digestion alright nevermind I'm obviously paranoid because right in the middle of typing I started hearing noises like a pestle and mortar like someone downstairs so I went down and was hearing voices outside the house I don't think it's that bad though I've had this before and I got over it x

 

[Inds]

28 day break? Make it a 56 day break there homeboy, it's how often you should be using MDMA, once every 8 weeks.

 

[isaaccain]

28 day break? Make it a 56 day break there homeboy, it's how often you should be using MDMA, once every 8 weeks.

Only managed to go about 6 days lad, sorry. On a positive though I have no hallucinations and the paranoia seems to have faded away. I've got urinary retention which I thought might be caused by such a heavy 4 night sesh. We got some mandy that I think is almost without a doubt the real deal, and I had 2.2 grams in two days. Honestly that mandy was so good you might as well just call it pure. So 2.2 grams of pure MDMA as well as pills the earlier two days. Would that be likely to cause urinary retention.

 

[Inds]

110 mg is enough to make me unable to piss for 4 hours so 2.2 grams would do that. You gotta slow that shit down before you get some brain damage.

 

[heerutosen]

Dude.. Mental health issues aside. Be carefull you don't get permanent liver, kidney or intestinal damage. I might have fucked up my liver with much lower doses and lower frequency, so i can't imagine you keeping this up.

Might be time to get some help. You turn to a forum because you worry about the effect stimulants and sleep deprivation are having on you. We give you advice and instead of taking said advice, you decide to take more drugs and stay up longer. Then you want to take a 28 day break (which is already short) and it starts all over again after 6 days...

Please be carefull and really think about the choices you are making here. Be well.