It's kind of odd, but I ruined my credit and buried myself in debt by stretching out an opioid addiction. It was all from dark market fentanyl was the my preferred DOBA....Drug Of Being Available, I would've loved pharma grade diacetyl-morphine but I don't have that luxury, or even a 50/50 blend of real dope, all fent in this neighborhood these days, even tho don't boot just snort it. Meaning while I have a appx 1.5-2 mg a day xanax addiction/dependence.
I was able to stop about 6 months ago and was able to get on Suboxone, but during that time I knocked down about 100 mg of Etizolam in 2 weeks, doing abot 10-20 mg a day for 2 weeks Also taking it several times a day. At same time I was drinking heavy, mixed in some MDMA, LSD(actually threw away 2 tabs because I hated the duration and swore I'd take it again, regrefully, so rather do away with it), and I use phenibut for work b/c it' s much more subtle but gives me tons of energy to perform well at work. Job is only 2x 24 hour shifts every 8 days, works out to ~42 hr week.
After that big on etiz, booze, alpraz, et cetera, while still on Subs, I was out of etiz and knew had to stop, but about 4 or so days into that I caved back to fent and that made things much better, but also drained any money I had saved up in a matter of a month, plus added a few grad onto my debt issues. That all kind of revolved around a bachelor party where I was best man. I actually ran out of Etiz right after the bach party but
Next, I was back to my usual fent and alpraz usage, pretty steady but it was a grind to get money during the second half...for the most part. The wedding was coming up now and I needed to stop to have any chance ot afford to attend, so I got back on Subs about 2 weeks prior. Those next 2 weeks were a drunken, Etiz & Alpraz filled, coke fueled, booze hazed...mess. That ran through the wedding where I also planned it out so both my supply of coke and Etiz were finished at about 6 am the day after the wedding, at which point I drove the hour home.
From there I set for the 1.5 hr ride home and was on the line to buy dope about 30 mins prior to getting home. So that sent me right back to that, which I sustained for several weeks before the financial upkeep of the habit was unbearable. So, back to the Subs.
But, this time I had a 250mg of Clonazolam, which made the induction MUCH easier, but now life much harder. I had never used it and taken 1 mg at a time every 2 hours, so abou 5 mg in an 8 hr period. I slept while in heavy fent w/d for maybe the first time ever. Then the next days I used a little less until I adjusted to Subs holding off my W/Ds. This unfortunately left me with a high tolerance (though the recent Etiz use and my 1.5-2 mg of Alpraz a day, as Rx'd by myself, probably meant my tolerance would fly up regardless).
I have been cruising now for some time on the clonaz at about 2-3mg a day, along with my usual alpraz intake and Subs at around 4-6 mg per day. I at least have some money now, but I got into 2 fender benders while blasted during this time, both surchargeable accidents against me. After no at fault accidents on my insurance in 14.5 years. I clearly am a mess. I am writing all this while a bit pepped up from phenibut, though I only dose that at 1.5 mg or less, still even just 750 mg has a pronounced effect on me in mediating anxiety and forgetting all the BS I have on my shoulders.
I don't know what to do know. Been on Subs almost 3 months w/ no other opi use, that is probably a record for me since being on/off(more on) for >4 years.
Man, I don't even know what to do now......taking around 2.5 mg/day of Clonazolam,around 2 mg of alpraz, still drinking 2-3 times a week(prob min 8 drinks when I do it), taking phenibut every week or 2, on the Subs at around 4-6 mg/day(which I hate but do what they are suppose to). It suck, and I want to relapse on the opis right now, too. the cravings are coming in hard. Sad thing is, if it wasn't for the outrageous cost, I would probably have little issues with just using them and live a normal life. But, I have poured so much money down the drain on them, it's inane.
I was able to stop about 6 months ago and was able to get on Suboxone, but during that time I knocked down about 100 mg of Etizolam in 2 weeks, doing abot 10-20 mg a day for 2 weeks Also taking it several times a day. At same time I was drinking heavy, mixed in some MDMA, LSD(actually threw away 2 tabs because I hated the duration and swore I'd take it again, regrefully, so rather do away with it), and I use phenibut for work b/c it' s much more subtle but gives me tons of energy to perform well at work. Job is only 2x 24 hour shifts every 8 days, works out to ~42 hr week.
After that big on etiz, booze, alpraz, et cetera, while still on Subs, I was out of etiz and knew had to stop, but about 4 or so days into that I caved back to fent and that made things much better, but also drained any money I had saved up in a matter of a month, plus added a few grad onto my debt issues. That all kind of revolved around a bachelor party where I was best man. I actually ran out of Etiz right after the bach party but
Next, I was back to my usual fent and alpraz usage, pretty steady but it was a grind to get money during the second half...for the most part. The wedding was coming up now and I needed to stop to have any chance ot afford to attend, so I got back on Subs about 2 weeks prior. Those next 2 weeks were a drunken, Etiz & Alpraz filled, coke fueled, booze hazed...mess. That ran through the wedding where I also planned it out so both my supply of coke and Etiz were finished at about 6 am the day after the wedding, at which point I drove the hour home.
From there I set for the 1.5 hr ride home and was on the line to buy dope about 30 mins prior to getting home. So that sent me right back to that, which I sustained for several weeks before the financial upkeep of the habit was unbearable. So, back to the Subs.
But, this time I had a 250mg of Clonazolam, which made the induction MUCH easier, but now life much harder. I had never used it and taken 1 mg at a time every 2 hours, so abou 5 mg in an 8 hr period. I slept while in heavy fent w/d for maybe the first time ever. Then the next days I used a little less until I adjusted to Subs holding off my W/Ds. This unfortunately left me with a high tolerance (though the recent Etiz use and my 1.5-2 mg of Alpraz a day, as Rx'd by myself, probably meant my tolerance would fly up regardless).
I have been cruising now for some time on the clonaz at about 2-3mg a day, along with my usual alpraz intake and Subs at around 4-6 mg per day. I at least have some money now, but I got into 2 fender benders while blasted during this time, both surchargeable accidents against me. After no at fault accidents on my insurance in 14.5 years. I clearly am a mess. I am writing all this while a bit pepped up from phenibut, though I only dose that at 1.5 mg or less, still even just 750 mg has a pronounced effect on me in mediating anxiety and forgetting all the BS I have on my shoulders.
I don't know what to do know. Been on Subs almost 3 months w/ no other opi use, that is probably a record for me since being on/off(more on) for >4 years.
Man, I don't even know what to do now......taking around 2.5 mg/day of Clonazolam,around 2 mg of alpraz, still drinking 2-3 times a week(prob min 8 drinks when I do it), taking phenibut every week or 2, on the Subs at around 4-6 mg/day(which I hate but do what they are suppose to). It suck, and I want to relapse on the opis right now, too. the cravings are coming in hard. Sad thing is, if it wasn't for the outrageous cost, I would probably have little issues with just using them and live a normal life. But, I have poured so much money down the drain on them, it's inane.
