Need help

[Kotori]

Sorry if I'm posting this in a wrong forum, also sorry, but I'm unable to tell the full story right now. I need to go to work in an hour, and I just don't have time and energy for this.
Long story short, I overdosed on MDMA. I had a horrifying, delirious trip, very heavy, deliriant-like hallucinations. My physical health doesn't seem to be the problem right now, however, my mental health is. Basically, I think that I have developed a PTSD. I can't stay home(since I tripped there), afraid of dark environments and staying alone. This is especially the problem, since I live alone and this time of year is pretty dark. I jump from every little sound that happens in the house. Getting sleep is near impossible, and I can't stay anywhere else. Going to a hospital in not an option. I took 5HTP about 7 hours ago, before attempting to sleep. I was able to get maybe 2 hours of sleep at best, when I putted some relaxing, sleep music on to quiet down little noises, and left my monitor on for some light. Is there anything I can do to ease my condition?

 

[Inds]

5HTP is for replenishing the lost serotonin, not for falling asleep. You take melatonin for that. What you're experiencing is normal dysphoria, try to ride it out. It will likely pass. Is this your first time using molly? Distract yourself with hobbies or movies in the meantime, eat healthy and exercise.

 

[Kotori]

5HTP is for replenishing the lost serotonin, not for falling asleep.

I'm aware of that. I took it to ease the crash somehow, not to fall asleep.

What you're experiencing is normal dysphoria, try to ride it out.

I'm not experiencing any kind of dysphoria. In fact, I don't feel any more down that usual. What I'm experiencing is extreme anxiety when I'm home, especially at dark hours. When I'm out, I'm absolutely fine. I'm not experiencing anything but tiredness from the major lack of sleep.

Is this your first time using molly?

This is the second time. First time I took just 100mg with no redosing, and the stuff wasn't very pure. It felt great, I had no comedown whatsoever, but I had a feeling that this substance could give me so much more that this. So after 4 months break, I took 120mg and redosed with 60mg after 2 hours have passed. The problem was, that in the state of euphoria I thought that I could do more, and 15 mins after ingesting 60mg, I took additional dose which was approximately 40mg. Also, the stuff this time was absolutely pure white hydrochloride. After about 20 mins after 40mg dose, I completely lost it and had the most horrible trip of my life. Even high doses of psychedelics couldn't scare me like that, and I had some horrifying trips.

Distract yourself with hobbies or movies in the meantime, eat healthy and exercise.

It's like trying to distract yourself while being kept hostage at ISIS camp or something.

 

[Inds]

but I had a feeling that this substance could give me so much more that this.

Hahaha, classic mistake. I trust you don't need to be lectured about this now that you lived the consequences.

It sounds like the crash just greatly amplified all the negative feelings you'd normally feel. Being home alone in the dark, does that sound like a cheery scene? No. Being outside in the nice warm sun with wind blowing in your face and great scenery, that's uplifting. If you can't fall asleep, pop some melatonin, it's natural and can be found over the counter. It put me to sleep during my mdma overdose even (but it's efficacy was noticeably less than usual).

It's like trying to distract yourself while being kept hostage at ISIS camp or something.

I know exactly what you mean. During my suicidal hangover, I put an award-winning movie on that I really liked but every second of it was bugging the hell out of me and I couldn't stop hating everything and just wanting to end my life. But it was still better than laying in bed doing nothing. But you said you feel perfectly fine outside. By all means do that then. Go for a walk, socialize with friends, whatever. The point isn't really to be jumping with joy right now but to be in the most positive possible environment to ride out the crash. Your serotonin levels will come back to normal eventually. I took the same dose as you (all at once, not redosing) on the day I OD'd and it took me a little over a day to stop being depressed and paranoid but for most people it takes a week or two.
How much do you weigh?

 

[Kotori]

It sounds like the crash just greatly amplified all the negative feelings you'd normally feel

It didn't, really. I don't feel any negative feelings more that usual.

Being home alone in the dark, does that sound like a cheery scene? No.

Actually, it was. I'm pretty antisocial person, and being alone at home, especially at night, when nothing can disturb me, felt absolutely wonderful. Now my sanctuary is my worst nightmare.

Go for a walk, socialize with friends, whatever.

Dude, you are not listening. I haven't slept for 4 bloody days. At this rate, I'm going to start to lose consciousness while walking on street.

If you can't fall asleep, pop some melatonin

Melatonin just doesn't work. I took 12,5mg yesterday. All it did is made me really drowsy for the next day.

I'm not depressed, suicidal or whatever. It's just REALLY fucking scary to be home, since I'm unconsciously expecting to see hallucinations there. The brain is forcing me to think dark and menacing thoughts while I'm there. Recently I got a new job, this past few weeks been really stressful. Right now? Best place in the world, since I don't have to come back home for the next 9-10 hours.
My weight is 60kg.

 

[WorriedWell]

If this persists please schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. There is not a thing wrong with seeking good help. In fact, it is smart.

Years ago I had a bad intense roll. I will never touch any drug again.
Panic and anxiety began to rule my life. I finally made the choice to seek help from a great psychiatrist. I take Prozac and Xanax daily at bed time (small amounts). I have had much fewer bouts of anxiety.

Eat healthy. Go to the gym and do some cardio and working out. Get those good endorphins running. But seriously.....get the help of a great doctor. It is the right thing to do.

 

[Inds]

Wait what, you've been up for 4 days? Ecstasy can't possibly do that to you, not even considering your low weight and the overdose. The pills you took must've been cut with <<something>>. Just 5mg melatonin was successfully able to put me to sleep when I took same amount as you (tho I am slightly heavier)
You say you're antisocial and love to be home alone in the dark. I do too but that's not the point because that is not your brain's default template. We are the way we are for a multitude of reasons, possible trauma being one of them. Once you destroy the safeguards your brain has built by screwing with chemicals, you learn what it's like to experience the dark side of life as a normal person would. I'm a recluse and I never felt lonely up until I crashed from MDMA. Drugs have ways to get the real you out.

I'd just skip work until you are able to get some shut-eye. If it doesn't happen within the next day, check into a hospital. It is seriously not healthy to be up for that long.

 

[Kotori]

Ecstasy can't possibly do that to you, not even considering your low weight and the overdose.

Sigh.. I write this over and over, but u just refuse to see this for some reason. MDMA is out of my system. It's not MDMA that causes this. It's the anxiety. You can't sleep under the gun.

Just 5mg melatonin was successfully able to put me to sleep when I took same amount as you (tho I am slightly heavier)

Tbh, melatonin didn't work that great for me even when this wasn't happening (I have troubles with sleep from time to time). 5mg almost never did much. 10mg is what usually put me to sleep, but not always.

that is not your brain's default template

For some reason, my brain's default template is to freak out in the public.

Actually, I have finally found the recipe yesterday. I took 5mg of melatonin, after about 10 mins, I vapourized two tokes of indica and put on some calm and cheerful music. When just the third track started playing, I lost my consciousness until morning. At morning, I felt alive again.

I have had much fewer bouts of anxiety.

Wait, so your trip was years ago, and you still taking medicine and having anxiety?

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

Sleep is pretty key. You may find that guided meditations can help relax you and help you sleep. Mindfulness meditation can be a must-have skill to develop for many with anxiety and insomnia.

CY

 

[Inds]

It's never out of your system. The cascade effect it causes on your mental and physical being lingers for a long time. Either way, it's not important whether ecstasy or impure ecstasy caused you this dysphoric anxiety, the reason I doubted the substance was to encourage you to test your drugs in the future so you know exactly what you're taking.

For some reason, my brain's default template is to freak out in the public.

What I meant is, we didn't start out this way. We are social animals. There are things that should naturally uplift us such as company and sunshine and things that should naturally do the opposite. When we're sober, we enjoy being alone unlike most of the public who happen to be extroverts. We evolved to be this way because the public fucked us over so we had to learn how to be feel happy and safe without them. But under the influence, it can kill these safeguards we built and we find ourselves reacting the same way a normal person would.

It's good to hear you found a way to finally fall asleep. How are you feeling now?

 

[Kotori]

the reason I doubted the substance was to encourage you to test your drugs in the future so you know exactly what you're taking.

Let's just say that over a 1000 people have tested it. It's MDMA, 100%. Even before I OD'd it felt like MDMA, everything is fine with the substance. I'm always sure about the substance that I take. If I have doubts, I just won't do it. That's just one of the rules I follow. I'm usualy follow the rule of choosing the dosage on clear head, before I'm intoxicated. It's just that this time, I couldn't contol myself. I guess if I'm going to do this again, I'm gonna physically isolate myself from any other substances, so I couldn't do more of them, even if I really want to.

It's good to hear you found a way to finally fall asleep. How are you feeling now?

Anxiety is pretty much subsided at this point. I still have it, but it is much less than a few days ago.

 

[Inds]

That's excellent. Keep us up to date on the progress. Take advantage of your stabilized state to partake in fun activities, eat healthy, workout and all that jazz. I'm surprised that soothing music made you fall asleep. It's not a negative thing by any means but knowing exactly what you mean by "trying to relax while being held captive by ISIS", I imagined it could only do so much. But I'm glad it worked.

If you took 100% MDMA and it kept you up for so long, that baffles me. You took 4 mg/KG, I took 3.7 mg/KG and it only kept me up for a fraction of the time it kept you up. Do you have a liver condition, a weak immune system or anything like that?

 

[sick_guy]

You took 4 mg/KG, I took 3.7 mg/KG and it only kept me up for a fraction of the time it kept you up. Do you have a liver condition, a weak immune system or anything like that?

I took 3.3 mg/kg, and I'm fucked up for 2,5 months now. And I'm sure it will take lot of time to fully recover, if I ever reach 100% recovery. I was 100% healthy person. Some people are vulnerable to mdma, some not.

This is hell.

 

[Kotori]

If you took 100% MDMA and it kept you up for so long, that baffles me. You took 4 mg/KG, I took 3.7 mg/KG and it only kept me up for a fraction of the time it kept you up. Do you have a liver condition, a weak immune system or anything like that?

Tbh, I think weed did that. Like it's usually returns psychedelic plateau if u smoke it on comedown. I don't really have any condition, but psycheactive effects of the drugs usually stay longer with me than they should. To fully wear off, NBOMe's take around 12hrs. DMT takes about 2hrs (main effects last for about 15-20mins, afterglow, however, is very much lasting). Weed usually lasts for about 3hrs, and if I fall asleep on weed, I will have the afterglow for about half of the next day.

BTW, now I remembered something. When I redosed for the 3rd time, I did not actually drink MDMA. Basically, I gathered the powder with my finger and licked it. Could it be that because I administered dosage sublingually, it had increased effect?