I've never orgasmed

[happiness12345]

I have never been able to orgasm and I dont know why. I am a 23 year old female and I have been dating someone I for 2 years. He makes me so happy and sex is great. But, I keep getting to this "level/point" that feels amazing and then almost shutting down. I do not know if this has to do with my past or if it is something not right physically.

In high school I was in a terrible relationship with a guy who was sexually and emotionally abusive. I would never let myself "get off" with him. I also am from a very conservative background with a father who super believes in abstinence. (I clearly do not and have had several partners). I do not know if both or either of these histories of mine have contributed to my inability.

I seem to get to this point where things feel great but then I cant get over that hurdle to orgasm. Ive never reached it with a partner or through masturbation. I dont know it is because I am unconsiously channeling the past or if I have just always done the wrong things.

Can you all think of any way to get me over the edge? Any positions or movements to try? Do you think it has to do with my past? I know it would love to orgasm both to make me feel good and to make him feel good.

 

[nuttynutskin]

See a therapist. It's obvious from your post that your past is affecting your love life. You could see a doctor but from what you said it all sounds mental.

 

[pofacedhoe]

get a vibrator and just play with yourself

if you cant make you orgasm how can anyone else?

i have difficulty with a lot of people not being able to make me cum but i can certainly make myself cum, thats the first step

 

[trunkofmycar]

get a vibrator and just play with yourself

if you cant make you orgasm how can anyone else?

i have difficulty with a lot of people not being able to make me cum but i can certainly make myself cum, thats the first step

Agreed. Try a clit vibe or heck, a good electric toothbrush works in a pinch. If youre embarrassed to buy the real deal.

 

[SamanthaB]

Hi,

Did you know only 30% of women can have an orgasm through intercourse? It usually requires oral sex, manual stimulation or the help of a vibrator of some kind. I have only climaxed once with intercourse, usually can cum with oral sex, but actually only did with my ex-husband. Since I divorced, I researched and then got a super duper vibrator from a place called Adam and Eve. The vibrator I got is nothing short of miraculous. It is called Endless Pleasure Thrusting Vibrator for $119.95. One part of it is a thrusting penis looking part that stimulates your vagina inside and attached to that is a hummingbird that targets your cliterous. Both operate independently, and together, and have different speeds. Believe me, if you do not cum with this device after a little practice, then probably time to see a doctor and then a therapist. If you do, and you do not cum in the future with your partner using the usual methods, you can include this device in your sexual activity with him. I have found that I do not have to have a climax during foreplay or intercourse to enjoy every bit of those things. However, the vibrator has been a foolproof way for me to always have an orgasm with a partner if nothing else works. And if you have no partner, you can still have one anytime you want . As for seeing a therapist, you may want to see one anyway, since you said you have issues from your past that may need attention. Good luck and hope this works for you.

 

[Markomarkh]

What is it with you women that can't orgasm? Is it men not knowing what they are doing or men are just rubbish beta males at sex now? Also whys it important if you orgasm or not? You still get pleasure from penetration don't you? I mean it's only men that need to orgasm and shoot there load to create babies you know! Or we seeing female disfunction like erectile dysfunction? Maybe it's poor diet or too much drugs or something! Glad I quit that shite 12 year ago!

 

[Kittycat5]

What is it with you women that can't orgasm? Is it men not knowing what they are doing or men are just rubbish beta males at sex now? Also whys it important if you orgasm or not? You still get pleasure from penetration don't you? I mean it's only men that need to orgasm and shoot there load to create babies you know! Or we seeing female disfunction like erectile dysfunction? Maybe it's poor diet or too much drugs or something! Glad I quit that shite 12 year ago!

I hope youre trolling because why the hell would a woman not want to orgasm? I agree you can get pleasure from sex in other ways, buy they dont call it climax for no reason.

 

[Markomarkh]

I hope youre trolling because why the hell would a woman not want to orgasm? I agree you can get pleasure from sex in other ways, buy they dont call it climax for no reason.

Well if you wonna orgasm get the right bloke! Not any will do! Problem is majority of partners are wrongens and doesn't always work.

 

[herbavore]

^It's a lot more complicated than that for some women.

OP, it does sound like perhaps your past is affecting your present and that is something you can do something about but it will take work (psychological). I was attacked as a young girl and it made sex very complicated until I forced myself to get some therapy around it and actually work to change things in my own head. Abuse is not easy to heal from but it is possible.