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Dilated eyes

I

Inds

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
606
Am I the only one that's utterly freaked out by this? I can be having a great time and then as soon as I look in the mirror and see what a psychopath I look like, I start freaking out.
Is there a drug that can dilate your eyes without getting you high so I can try to get used to this and train myself out of this fear?
 
You don't want to go fucking with your pupil size just to "train yourself out of it".
You risk eye damage with dialated pupils, or messing with agents that cause pupil dialation.
There's no way of guaranteeing that would even work (i doubt it would).

Just get some sunglasses or learn to appreciate looking like a nutter when you're wasted 8( =D
 
Isnt the risk by too much light entering the eye? That's what sunglasses are for. I wanna appreciate looking like an undead freak with no iris but I can't when I'm rolling balls where the slightest negative thing sends me into a panic attack. I'm actually curious how I'll react when I'm completely sober.
I know I could just avoid the mirror but there's more to it than that. If I get self-conscious while I'm rolling and start to think about what utter shit I must look like, it devolves into negative thoughts which get amplified by the high. I wanna learn to not care about it at all.
 
Mate... whattt?

If you really want to dilate your pupils, simply turn off the lights for five minutes; they will increase in size to take in more light.

But really if you actually experience this level of anxiety, you should probably lay off the MDMA/drugs. I don't want to patronise you but come on man, you want to take a drug to dilate your pupils so you can train yourself to get used to it, because you don't like it?

The problem is not the size of your pupils it's your extreme anxiety, and you really need to work on it. It sounds completely debilitating.
 
So I did some research and Mydriacyl is used for this purpose but the fact that I can't buy it without a prescription makes me not wanna fuck with it. "May cause psychosis in rare cases" yeah, no thanks.

How do I work on it, tho? My doc prescribed me the safest possible anti-anxiety there was and that shit still fucked me up. I was a lot better before being dumb enough to trust those cocksuckers again.
In March I had a bad trip because I took too much E and experienced a horrible crash. This did not deter me at all from using again in April which I did with no problems. I took half as much and had a really good time. I did experience a slight panic attack when I looked in the mirror but I was able to get it under control.

But the June experience is what really messed me up when I rolled while I was sick. It wasn't as bad as the bad trip in March yet it has made me very anxious about using again. Now for the life of me I can't calm the fuck down and stop anticipating the comeup when I try to roll. Did 75mg a few weeks ago that didn't do shit yet I was freaking out for a full hour before I chilled out. I assumed I felt calm because molly kicked in or something, then I noticed I could pee without a problem, looked in the mirror and realized I wasn't rolling at all. Doh!

Why can't I have that April experience again? It was the happiest 3 days of my life. :(
 
This seems like a horrible idea lol. I've always loved the eye dialation, cool as fuck. Solution? Don't look at your eyes...not very hard to do
 
Swim15 said:
This seems like a horrible idea lol. I've always loved the eye dialation, cool as fuck. Solution? Don't look at your eyes...not very hard to do
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Let alone training yourself to accept it.

It's interesting watching different people on MDMA. I always think I look minging; a kind of startled sickly corpse. Some of my friends look absolutely beautiful; they really get a certain glint in their eye and their big pupils/slightly glazed eyes can make them look really fit and switched on.
 
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Hey guys, I got black contacts and they don't exactly look like mdma eyes, they're scarier. To my surprise, I'm not feeling disturbed at all when I look in the mirror. Not emotionally, anyhow. I understand logically that they're creepy as fuck but I'm perfectly relaxed as I look in the mirror. So I guess the high amplifies shit to the nth degree. But this gave me another idea, maybe I could buy contacts so my eyes look normal while I'm rolling. I wonder if I could then appreciate my sexy self. :D
Also these fuckers are hard as hell to put on, I feel sorry for all you vision-impaired people out there, haha.
 
I don't do it on purpose! First time was because I came outta the shower and second time was cuz I went to put some moisture on my face and accidentally saw it on the corner of my eye.
It goes way deeper than that anyway. If I know that I look like complete shit, that's more negativity that will get amplified by the high. I'm trying to accept the idea that I look good with saucer eyes. I actually went to see my social workers with my black contacts on and to my surprise they did not find it disturbing at all. That meant a lot to me.
 
Weird I for one like the dilated pupils I think it looks so awesome and love looking myself in the mirror and seeing those huge dilated pupils
 
I love when everyone is a mess and everyones eyes are huge. Its just a good party. lol Not sure why you are so self-conscious about it. Get it!
 
If it wouldnt wreck my anonymity I would post pics of me that I took while I was rolling. It would really help me if everyone honestly said that I looked perfectly fine. I think I look disgusting with those black bug eyes.
 
Inds said:
If it wouldnt wreck my anonymity I would post pics of me that I took while I was rolling. It would really help me if everyone honestly said that I looked perfectly fine. I think I look disgusting with those black bug eyes.
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There are people like me who are attracted to those with the big pupils. Dont trip!! Its really nothing to worry about, but if you really are worried. sunglasses......... I wear sunglasses at raves all the time. I do not care.
 
Yeah I used to wear sunglasses everywhere. Kinda counterintuitive when your at a rave though, or it's raining. Kinda screams tweaker/rolling
 
I tried the sunglasses a few times but ended up tripping everywhere =D way to dark at a rave to navigate. Let alone find your friends, they could have been standing right next to me I wouldn't know

Wouldn't worry about your pupils too much. Your own flaws are oftentimes exaggerated in your own mind. Have you ever rolled with other people? If yes, and they didn't take too much, think about how you found them to be looking. I wanna wager not too bad. I think that people that have taken a normal dose of MDMA have something beautiful about them, a certain spark. And where you can see this spark the best is in the eyes
 
I can honestly say I've never been called out on my eyes. Mine are a light brown so it'd be pretty noticeable.
 
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