Hey guys, I posted the other day but for some reason it didn?t get up. I must have forgotten to hit the post button.
I?m doing well. Still on Suboxone and tapering Valium using the Ashton method. I feel pretty good most the time! If anybody out there needs to get off Benzos I highly recommend the Ashton method. You basically switch over to Valium because it has a super long half life and therefore your body has ample time to adjust to the decreases.
Im super involved in AA. I have a sponsor, a homegroup, and a service position. I?m working the steps and am currently doing my 9th step amends.
I?ve been working regularly and lots of good things are starting to happen for me. I attribute all of that and my feeling better from a good taper program....all of that is due to my work in AA, I believe. When I first got sober in 2010 I had the same experience. Once I took recovery very seriously, made it my top priority, and worked the steps to the best of my ability (which is far from perfect) my life started getting much much better. I pretty much consider myself an atheist, but I do believe that when you live your life a certain way, by a positive set of principles, and do your best to be helpful to as many people as possible, there is something in this universe that affects our lives. If you live positively, positive shit happens. It happened to me in 2010 and it?s hapoening now. Things are just falling into place and problems I had no idea how I was going to fix are more or less fixing themselves.
Anyways, for everyone struggling....don?t ever give up. But realize and accept that you have a problem and you can?t get better without help. There is no shame in asking for help. In fact it?s commendable. Most people don?t have the balls to admit to their problem and do the hard work it takes to treat it. It?s a disease. I highly recommend the documentary called ?Pleasure Unwoven?. Just trust me in this. It explains the brain injury and resulting series of malfunctions that cause mental addiction. Physical dependency is something totally different, but with the right taper plan you can get past that too. I?ve been through hell and back for decades. If I can get and stay sober, you can too. Just don?t ever let up or get complacent in your program of recovery. That?s the mistake I made that ended 4 years (the best 4 years of my 40 years on this planet) of sobriety and took everything from me. I vow to NEVER make that mistake again. Lesson learned, as usual, the hard way. This disease is not cureable, but it is absolutely treatable. I?ve seen people come into AA/NA with shrunken in faces, track marks all over their arms, failing livers, in horrible withdrawals, homeless, wearing rags, stinking to high hell, and not a penny to their name or a single person in their life. I?ve watched MANY of those people get healthy and turn their life completely around. Unrecognizable from the day they came to their first meeting, with 6 figure jobs, a million friends, starting families, and living the life of their dreams a year or two later. It?s truly amazing and incredibly inspiring to see. We need to do our best but always be kind to ourselves. We are not bad people, we are sick people trying to get better. Best of luck and much love to everyone. I?ll be sure to update more often. I?m happy to answer questions too as I?ve got a lot of experience with this disease. I don?t tell people what to do or that they have problems. I just share me experience and what has and hasn?t worked for me. Take care of yourself! Don?t give up, no matter what. If you relapse, just try again. Just get help though!! AA, NA, CA, Rational Recovery, and others are available and free! Just throw a dollar in the basket when you can. Love to all!!