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I want to give up so badly.

B

benzohelp

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2017
Messages
1
I'm a daily user of unprescribed xanax and I can't seem to find a way out. I want help. I want out of this mess. I got in way over my head, could not find help, and I had my child taken from me because of it. I want everything to just end so badly. I feel like I will never get the help that I need because I will seem like an addict, which I guess I am. I cant see a way out of this at all.
 
Please don't give in to the despair you are feeling right now. Having your child taken away is horrendous I know but there is still a future and you must focus on that. The first thing that you are going to need is a person that can support you in a medical detox--a very slow taper. See The Ashton Manual. In the meantime you can seek help for your anxiety. I am assuming that this is what led you to "get in over your head"?

Don't berate yourself or give in to shame. This will not help you. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend or even your own child that was in this position. Encourage yourself. Seek help and take it in any form that it comes.

Stay connected here. Let us know how you are doing.<3
 
Hi

I just want to second not to beat yourself up or shame yourself. People have problems and it’s often the people who need it most that don’t get enough in a timely manner. But help is out there and people who are going through something similar to what you are. I want to keep some of herbavore’s advice in my pocket, we rarely treat ourselves with the same care and compassion we give others. Sometimes we struggle with knowing what care and compassion for ourselves even looks like, I know I did. I thought I wasn’t deserving of help and that’s simply not true.

The world is so big and full of struggle and joy. You deserve and will have joy. Someone somewhere is feeling exactly what you’re feeling right now. Someone somewhere has had their child taken away under similar circumstances and is feeling the same terrible pain. My point is that you’re not alone. You can do this even if in this moment it doesn’t feel like it. The greatest gift my mom ever gave me was getting help and healing some of her wounds. She was a mess but she got better and I admire her so much now for it.
 
If you stop xanax cold turkey there is a high risk of seizures. I had a friend who was heavily addicted to xanax and he successfully got himself clean by weaning himself off. Start with your usual dose then slowly take a quarter, or maybe a half bar less every day, until you are down to a quarter bar a day, then you can stop altogether. This decreases the risk of seizures. This is what worked for my friend, so maybe you could give it a try. I know what it is like to want to give up; I ruined my life due to my IV coke addiction, but I promise there is hope. You are never alone in this situation. Maybe NA meetings can help you get the support you need? Best of luck to you.
 
taper yourself down as everyone has said in this thread. If you can find a clinic that does opiate detoxification and you might be able to find some help there. Otherwise tough it out. WD's won't kill you unless ur a pussy.
 
chompy said:
taper yourself down as everyone has said in this thread. If you can find a clinic that does opiate detoxification and you might be able to find some help there. Otherwise tough it out. WD's won't kill you unless ur a pussy.
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Wow..so much wrong with that last fucked up sentence. Benzo WD CAN kill you. People have died from grand mal seizures caused by benzo WD. And to say "unless you're a pussy"? Nice supportiveness asshole.

Anyway, you didn't mention how much or how long you've been taking xanax. It's a short acting benzo so a taper with it is difficult. I would go to a doctor and just be honest with him about your situation and ask about a Valium taper.

You CAN get through this, and you are not alone. If you need anything feel free to private message me.
 
Yes I agree with the last post. I am a recovering heroin addict. I hid my addiction by simply becoming a stranger to my family. When I decided I wanted that life no more I opened up to them and was honest with everybody about what I was going through and that I had a problem and needed help. I was shocked to see them ALL rally to my side. I can tell you this. In the county I live in the jail treats alcohol addiction with libreum and benzo addiction with a 15 day colonopin step down. Everybody is drug tested in intake I tested positive for only opiates my first time in and they gave me nothing. Well me being the good addict I am I was prepared next time having to turn myself in. I used a benzo on my way in tested positive and got on the 15 day taper program. The first two days it was 1mg in the morning and 1 at night. The next 5 days it was 2 .25 mg in the morning and 2 at night. The next 8 days was 1 .25mg in the morning and 1 at night. That was their medically approved benzo treatment. Maybe try that yourself
 
i have ptsd i want to give up every day but i'm a warrior so i don't. My condition makes me an asshole tho. Nod Alot is an idiot. You can taper yourself off of xanax using xanax. It just takes some discipline.
 
benzohelp said:
I'm a daily user of unprescribed xanax and I can't seem to find a way out. I want help. I want out of this mess. I got in way over my head, could not find help, and I had my child taken from me because of it. I want everything to just end so badly. I feel like I will never get the help that I need because I will seem like an addict, which I guess I am. I cant see a way out of this at all.
Click to expand...

Where I'm from, even though I work 40 hours a week, I am eligable for medicaid through my son. Or if you have other insurance, it might help you to go through a behavioral mental health/counseling service. It helped me tremendously. It might take a few appointments at different places to find the right couselor, but it can be so worth it. I was totally against it at first, but it definitely helped me. It will also look GREAT to a judge on getting your son home to you. I didn't really open up until I found the right person to talk to. Because some people tend to treat you differently when you admit an addiction too early.. they will make sure you safely get off the pills, while also having someone to help you along the way. I hope this helps in some way, good luck to you and as bad as you want to just give up, you can't because your child needs you!
 
chompy said:
i have ptsd i want to give up every day but i'm a warrior so i don't. My condition makes me an asshole tho. Nod Alot is an idiot. You can taper yourself off of xanax using xanax. It just takes some discipline.
Click to expand...

You are right, you CAN taper from xanax with xanax. And you are also right that it definitely takes discipline.

Sorry for the name calling (of "asshole"), that was in bad taste. My bad.
 
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