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What do women typically think of guys in their mid twenties who have never dated?

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washingtonbound

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I've been tossing this around in my mind a bit lately, cause I'm 23 and I'm never been on a formal date/had a gf. I don't think it's appropriate to count "girlfriends" from middle school because I wasn't remotely mature enough to know what that meant at that time. I'm not a virgin and have had an average number of sexual experiences, but the concept of dating or having a real partner is 100% foreign to me. I wonder how someone that I was seeing would react if I disclosed this.
What experiences have my fellow dateless comrades have with getting into relationships in the future? Have you found there is kind of a weird learning curve? I'm not really awkward, just a normal looking guy who's had some struggles with bipolar and trauma in the past 6-7 years where I normally would've started dating. I thinking of how weird it would be to have someone around you a lot and how you'd respond to them since I've been alone for so many years.
Thoughts?
 
23 is nothing mate. Anyone that age who judges you for not following some standard script of life isn't even worth having a second though about, boy or girl. When you're double that age and you've never dated, then there might be a need for a discussion. You're over thinking it. I got into my first proper relationship at 24, along with losing my virginity, and neither thing mattered except in my head. You adjust to the situation real quick. And besides, how many women do you honestly think there are at age 23 who have their shit together in terms of balancing a relationship? They're as in the dark as you are.

There's no point in hiding it. If it comes up just be honest, show you're confident and have the appearance that you're ready to learn, and it'll be alright. And even if that one doesn't work out, who bloody cares! You're 23. The chances of you picking the right match for you, and for her to pick you as the right match, first time around at 23, is pretty remote in this age. It could happen, but even if it did you'd work through your novice dating experience.. again, no big deal.
 
I agree with SS.

Personally, I don't really "get" dating. If that makes sense. I've had a few relationships, the most serious lasted 6 years. But I can't say I really recall any traditional "dating" precipitating it. I dunno, it kinda just always went as being friends, eventually hooking up, then at some point after deciding to be a couple. Wasn't much of what I'd call going on a date until after we were already together, if that's what you're talking about.

I'm a girl, I wouldn't judge you for it, and as SS said, anyone who would isn't worth your time. And really, 23 is still pretty young, I wouldn't even call that mid 20s I'd still call it early 20s. I'm late 20s having just turned 29.

My advice, don't over think it, and don't work yourself up over it. If you wanna find someone, just start looking. Be honest and don't worry about it. If they are worth dating and like you back they won't care. Especially if you turn out like me and find you end up attracting partners who are also suffering from or have suffered emotional issues. All mine have been screwed up like me. Made it a lot easier to overlook each others problems.

Since you're here, I'd be more concerned about problems stemming from drug use. That's been an ongoing problem in my relationships. Either with a non-drug user who simply doesn't get it, or with a fellow junkie and all the chaos and dysfunction that involves. But at least they 'get' it.
 
Thanks for the response. Perhaps a more appropriate title for the thread would be: "23 year old who has never really had a relationship." Unfortunately for me I ended up developing a mood disorder due to drug use around 19 which caused a developmental gap in this regard. I resonate with what you're saying about at attracting people who also have some kind of emotional trauma going on, but it seems to me that I don't really attract anyone. I don't feel that it's because I'm extremely ugly or anything, it is more because my mood issues are highly unattractive, causing me to look rigid and uncomfortable almost all the time. Hopefully in time I will be able to put a lid on it enough to attract people.
 
I think of myself at 23... wow... yeah...

I took myself way too seriously, and I also thought too highly of the relationships I ended up in.

You are just starting out. Don't worry too much about it. Nobody knows wtf is going on at that age. Actually at any age really, but when you're older you just have more experience.
 
Well, interesting situation, but not abnormal. There is no timetable to be in your first serious relationship. When it happens it will happen. One of these days, someone will come along that you really will want to go out with and be with on a regular basis. The likelihood of this not happening is slim to none. Good luck with all that and when it happens, enjoy yourself and have fun!!
 
OP

your overthinking this

just go on a date and chill and dont tell everyone everything about you own insecurities immediately
 
washingtonbound said:
What experiences have my fellow dateless comrades have with getting into relationships in the future? I thinking of how weird it would be to have someone around you a lot and how you'd respond to them since I've been alone for so many years.
Thoughts?
Click to expand...

There might be some expectations from your partner based on their past experiences but you figure it out as you go along.

I'm 28 and I think the longest relationship I've had was 5 months? If that even counts. I've never actively pursued one.. I have an issue with commitment.
 
I wouldn't judge someone because of this and I'm 26. It's not a big deal. I mean don't advertise it ... by that I mean, when you go on a date, don't tell the person right away that it's your "first date" or whatever. Just go with it. Go on a date, see what it's all about, it's not really a big deal :)
 
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