simco
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2014
- Messages
- 2,246
Hey Somni and RDP89. Just my own 0.02, but I've spent a lot of time puzzling over issues related to NA and the steps in the context of my own (largely atheistic) beliefs. My experience in NA is that I've had to work at understanding how I can authentically fit in to the fellowship. I try not to compromise my values. But at the same time, I've tried to be more open-minded than I am reflexively. Really I feel like this ongoing project of stretching my tolerance has been helpful in NA. Simply existing in the tension between NA dogma and my own dogma (for lack of a better word) has made me re-appraise some of my own habits of thought...I think for the better.
Of course you do have to guard against selling your soul if you truly find their program intellectually out of bounds.
One other thing I've worked on is reading the literature and understanding the steps carefully and with an eye towards my own needs in recovery. For example, I really love the wording of Step 3 despite misgivings about its most obvious meaning: "We made a decision to turn out will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him." *To me* the most important thing about that sentence isn't God but rather making a conscious, deliberate decision to improve out lives. When I'm using, I don't really make decisions...I just go with the flow and do what I need to do to stay well. Sure, Step 3 is about God. But more basically, it's about claiming agency over our plans and priorities and looking for a tenable way to orient our goals with things outside of ourselves.
Of course you do have to guard against selling your soul if you truly find their program intellectually out of bounds.
One other thing I've worked on is reading the literature and understanding the steps carefully and with an eye towards my own needs in recovery. For example, I really love the wording of Step 3 despite misgivings about its most obvious meaning: "We made a decision to turn out will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him." *To me* the most important thing about that sentence isn't God but rather making a conscious, deliberate decision to improve out lives. When I'm using, I don't really make decisions...I just go with the flow and do what I need to do to stay well. Sure, Step 3 is about God. But more basically, it's about claiming agency over our plans and priorities and looking for a tenable way to orient our goals with things outside of ourselves.