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Am I doomed to be celibate for the rest of my life?

J

jasper kent

Bluelighter
Joined
May 19, 2012
Messages
100
I am 58 years old and live with my mother who has dementia. I have a part-time low-paying job. I am fairly good-looking (so I'm told), not fat, but not particularly fit either. I have neither a car nor a license (DUI). I'm relatively intelligent but not obnoxious about it. I'm a left-leaning libertarian and consider myself a feminist (humanist, really).

I like a woman who is interested in nature, literature, art, and just having a good time. Must be a dog lover. Must have a sense of humor. Physical beauty not important, although skeleton-thin or morbidly obese are turnoffs. Race/ethnicity also unimportant. Religion/spirituality or lack thereof unimportant...but no hell-fire fanatics. I like smiles.

I drink alcohol and smoke weed & tobacco. Occasionally play with harder drugs but I'm not an addict (been there, done that).

I hate the bar scene and feel like a burned out old hippie in most social situations. I live in Chattanooga, TN.

Do I have a chance? Where? How?

Peace&Love,
jasper

P.S. Don't suggest hookers. I've had many prostitute friends but never paid for sex. It just isn't my thing.
 
You need to meet new people. If you don't like bars, join an app like meetup.com and get into some groups doing hobbies and activities that interest you. You might meet someone that way. Otherwise there's a ton of dating websites, but I don't think they work particularly well for anything more serious than casual sex.
 
dating apps

to be fair they can be unforgiving for older people but just accept the limitations of a visual internet culture and go for what you can find

at the same time u live in USA and cannot drive at 58- WTF are you thinking? ireland is tiny but without a car you would be isolated, america is that x 1000. go get a car /get your licence back
 
Well if you've had addiction experience, there's always NA meetings to meet women.
 
Scrofula said:
Well if you've had addiction experience, there's always NA meetings to meet women.
Click to expand...
That's a terrible idea. You don't want to get a reputation as some scumbag that tries to 13th step.
 
You can still meet people without being a slimy creep. It can obviously be very helpful to sometimes meet others on a similar journey.
 
Don't be so quick to knock dating sites. I met my wife of ten years on one and know of many who have success stories to tell. In this day and age, finding mates online is infinitely more common than meeting someone out and about. Just be honest, cast a wide net, be willing to accept that you may run into a few duds and keep an open mind.
 
What about E-Harmony or something? You gotta at least try. You should get a girl interested using the description here of what you’re looking for. It’s pretty good.
 
Scrofula said:
Well if you've had addiction experience, there's always NA meetings to meet women.
Click to expand...

And there’s always abortion clinics. Just hang out and wait to give them a ride home after the procedure is over and they’re vulnerable.

I’m kidding! There are creeps who do that though.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
And there’s always abortion clinics. Just hang out and wait to give them a ride home after the procedure is over and they’re vulnerable.

I’m kidding! There are creeps who do that though.
Click to expand...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahaha wtf!!!!
 
And I didn't mean to take advantage of vulnerable women. But if OP wants to meet people, he shouldn't ignore his past experiences with addiction as an opportunity. For things like community programs or charities. Not every female former addict is some emotional cripple.
 
Yes we are. ;)

Seriously though I figured that's what you meant. But you gotta admit it didn't sound very good. And I gotta admit. I'm sure there are exceptions, but a lot of addicts, and most opioid addicts, and especially most heroin addicts, and especially especially most IV heroin addicts, and ALL female IV heroin addicts I've met, including myself, have been seriously messed up emotionally.

But then, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I prefer being around messed up people. Regular people suck.
 
"Messed up emotionally" is how 99% of humanity rolls. The other 1% are psychopaths who feel nothing.

PS: made me feel dirty remembering when I volunteered in front of a Planned Parenthood as a "human shield" against protesters (my sister worked at the clinic). I didn't get a single phone number!
 
Lots of interesting suggestions. No, I will not 13th step nor hang out at abortion clinics (I hope that was just a dark joke)....

Anyway, y'all are very supportive and I appreciate that.

Thanks for the responses.

Peace& Love,
jasper
 
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