The lack of motivation might be related to the medication you are taking. I wouldn't get too hung up on this as the medication is helping you get to where you need to be, you might just have to deal with some side effects along the way but better than going psychotic or having a seizure. Also, it doesn't sound like the doctor intends for you to stay on the medication any longer than necessary, so that is a good thing as well. Not sure what would be causing the jaw thing.. I've dislocated my jaw from vomiting and dry heaving while going through benzo and opiate WD, but unless you are experiencing muscle spasms or retching it's probably unrelated.. I wouldn't get hung up on that.
I would suggest that you stay away from alcohol as both benzos and alcohol affect similar parts of the brain and you may be much more sensitive to the side effects. It also might make the WDs from the benzos worse. I doubt that with the medications you are one that the doctor would green light any alcohol consumption to be honest.
Stick to the regimen as closely as you can and stay in communication with your doctor, it sounds like you have found one who is attuned to your needs and will be able to react appropriately if any warning signs start to arise.
Oh, and the reason that alprazolam is not used in a benzo taper probably has to do with its short half life. It has a very fast onset but does not have a very long effect. A longer lasting benzo would be favorable in this case.
Thanks for all the help man! I am sorry I never made a thread in Sober Living but I can summarise the last month+ that it took for me to now be 8 or 9 days without any meds.
The prozac did not help much at all tbh and I started taking 100mg of Modafinil on my own without telling the doctor. This made sleeping harder without the benzos I had developed the high threshold for so I stopped and for that week I told the doctor that I had trouble sleeping - which I did post the 3 days of taking 100mg Modafinil in the morning.
He upped the Lorazepam and kept Seprodex. Got rid of everything else. By up I mean a higher frequency of dosing like 1-1-1-1.5 (1.5 being at night with Seprodex)
He told me it is totally fine to do exercise on this regimen of medication but do it earlier in the day. Slowly I started to gain confidence in social activities and gym. Everyweek though he switched the benzo to battle the symptoms because I would get stuck at the point in taper when I had to go from 1mg Lorazepam per day to 0.5mg. Same thing would happen with 10mg x once daily Valium to 0.5mg. All the while Seprodex (Valproic acid sp?) was also included. The taper ended with Clonazepam and 250mg Seprodex.
It took longer than a month and was very hard. I did have a bad alcohol hang over so I never drank again but was chain smoking, a spliff then 10-15 cigs a day.
I had to rid of the cigs for exercise and did it. I have never been a habitual smoker and used to only 'bum one off a friend' during nights out.
This is how the taper went macro week wise. Basically every 2-3 days he would stop some amount of dosing from as high as 1-1-1-1.5 to x-x-1-x-1.5 to x-x-x-1 to just 0.5 (this is where I struggled or 5mg with valium)...
Week 1 - Valium with Seprodex were the main meds
Week 2 - 2-3 days of Valium before Lorazepam and Clonazepam with Seprodex and an atypical anti-psychotic at low does of 2.5mg (Arpripazole sp?)
10 days later - Back to try to taper the same Lorazepam with no Clonazepam but Seprodex and anti-psychotic stayed, put me back off Prozac after a week ON, week OFF.
10 days later - Still trouble sleeping - back to Valium but slightly slower dosing.
4-5 days later - Visited him before schedule and he tapered for me only Clonazepam, anti-psychotic and Seprodex. Took 10ish days to finish Clonazepam and last Seprodex and anti-psychotic I took was more than a week ago.
Have a sliff and a cig. No drinking. Had one bad day where I felt nauseated, rest were only bad tasteless moodless days. I loved the last taper as it finished with 0.25mg Clonazepam every other day. When I was on 2mg a day, I felt groggy 2 days in a row which is what I felt from abusing clonazepam for the first time at high dose. It felt good that a low dose was giving me that side or you could say 'comedown'.
Man I will not touch stims or benzos again. Nearly lost my mind and Benzos are so fucking hard to kick. Everyone reacts differently, I had milder physical symptoms but bad mental symptoms of depression and apathy but no visions or anything.
Coming clean helped me and self medicating a taper also helped me. LOL that I ever thought I could go cold-turkey.
I am still not considering 100% off them. Only time will tell but in the meantime need to work on diet and exercise more, which I am finding hard to accomplish.
