just need a little advice

[chemctrl]

Hey TDS, I'm back again. if you'll remember, I posted about coming off of H. well, it's finally happening for real (albeit months later). I'm approximately 72hrs off the crap right now..the past two nights I've barely slept, and I threw up on the patio yesterday but honestly it's not as bad as I thought it would be except for the mental aspects. my anxiety is through the roof, and so are my cravings. can anybody give advice on how to deal with that part of kicking ?

 

[chemctrl]

I guess I'll post an update. I'm at about 80hrs now, and while I can't really get comfortable I no longer feel the rls as bad as I did..still weak, can't keep my feet for too long. appetite is starting to come back with a vengeance (I'm about 20lbs underweight right now). I'm so tired but still no sleep. anxiety is always there in the back of my mind. hoping I can get a little shut eye tonight.

 

[Mafioso]

I found that just talking about my symptoms seemed to help with anxiety. For whatever reason it can be comforting to know that you are not the only one going through WDs and that other people have or are experiencing the same things that you are. Going to groups like NA might be beneficial for the social aspect.

IME, if your appetite is coming back then you are likely through the worst of it in terms of physical withdrawal. The mental aspect will linger and may never fully go away. Cravings are partly because of the stimulation of the reward centers in the brain that drugs cause, and partly due to coping mechanism. For most people with substance abuse disorders, drugs are the primary means of coping with any uncomfortable emotion like loneliness, depression, anger, or boredom. Finding other means of dealing with your emotions is crucial.

At least initially, try to avoid stressful situations, take it easy, eat and stay hydrated, and try to occupy your time with productive activity. Music or art can really help, they can serve as healthy and productive outlets for a range of emotion.

 

[chemctrl]

so, after a small jail stint and being homeless for 3 weeks (still am, technically), i'm almost to 2 weeks sober with 0 desire to go back. sorry to bring back an old thread but i wasnt sure where else to get these feelings out. I dont want to be where i am, i dont want to go back and try to fix things with my wife, i dont want to be anywhere. i know its the PAWS kicking in and im afraid its going to get worse and worse, im already a depressed person in general. Im not sure what i can do at this point. Ill take any suggestions

 

[Xorkoth]

One of the most important things you can do is exercise... work out, get in shape. Do at least 30 minutes of cardio a day. It sounds trite, but it's so true. When I came off opiates, I was in terrible shape, and I worked out almost every day and it helped SO MUCH. Not only do you feel better about yourself when you're strong and in shape, but exercise produces endorphins which are your body's natural opiates, and it helps to repair your opioid receptors faster. Besides that, eat well, that helps you feel good. And try to find things to be excited about in life again besides drugs. Do you love doing something that you don't do anymore? maybe it's music, or art, or biking, or whatever it might be. Start doing the things you love again, because it will boost your self-esteem as well as give you something to be excited about. Also, identify things in your life that aren't working for you, maybe things that caused you to get so deep into opiates in the first place. And then try to remove those things from your life.

Good luck!

 

[herbavore]

I dont want to be where i am, i dont want to go back and try to fix things with my wife, i dont want to be anywhere.

That is a scary place to be, but not a negative place. Look at it this way: You are aware of where you do not want to be (that's positive) but as of now you cannot imagine where you want to be (that's neutral). Here is my suggestion: remind yourself that you do not have to figure out your entire future right now. You are in the process of learning something new (how to navigate yourself and your life sober) and it will take all your concentration. Healing takes intention. It is not just the drugs leaving your body, it is also the pain in the mind that the drugs once addressed that is flooding back in. Try not to be afraid of that process. I know it's hard but if you can see it as something natural and desirable (allowing the feelings to come back) you can begin to address them differently yourself. Depression, even chronic depression, usually has roots in experiences. Pretend you are a friend or your own child--what would you do to help them through this? Do that for yourself. Encourage with positive thoughts, use rational thinking against the self-defeating or fatalistic thoughts, nurture yourself with understanding and acceptance.

 

[chemctrl]

Thank you for the replies. Exercise...ugh!! Hahaha. I know I need to but it's the last thing I feel like doing, my body feels so run down and achey still I just want to lay here forever. I have noticed that I've actually actively started listening to music again (as opposed to it just being background noise in the car or something), and wishing I had my guitar to mess around with. I guess that's a start.

Where I am now is back with family, and they want to see change RIGHT NOW and it's very overwhelming. I have 100% desire but 0% energy to do all the things they're wanting me to do, and it's really driving my anxiety through the roof. The worst part is how I'm basically on lockdown, needing an escort anywhere I want to go. I go stir crazy very easily, and though it's not hard to say "go walk somewhere" this depression is just telling me, where? Where would you even go, what's the point? You're too tired anyway.

 

[Xorkoth]

I know exercise feels like the last thing you want to do right now, trust me when I got off opiates I was weak and out of shape and exhausted, but push through it for a couple of weeks and it will start to feel great and it will make such a big difference. I can't emphasize enough how important it is in recovery (and in life in general).

I got snowed in today and I can't go work out and it's bumming me out! That's how much different it feels once you get into it.

 

[David Wooderson]

Thank you for the replies. Exercise...ugh!! Hahaha. I know I need to but it's the last thing I feel like doing, my body feels so run down and achey still I just want to lay here forever. I have noticed that I've actually actively started listening to music again (as opposed to it just being background noise in the car or something), and wishing I had my guitar to mess around with. I guess that's a start.

Where I am now is back with family, and they want to see change RIGHT NOW and it's very overwhelming. I have 100% desire but 0% energy to do all the things they're wanting me to do, and it's really driving my anxiety through the roof. The worst part is how I'm basically on lockdown, needing an escort anywhere I want to go. I go stir crazy very easily, and though it's not hard to say "go walk somewhere" this depression is just telling me, where? Where would you even go, what's the point? You're too tired anyway.

Give it a shot, a common theme to most of the people that have gotten past their addictions is that they replaced the thirst for drugs in exchange for the natural euphoria you can attain with exercise.

I can get every bit as high from lifting or running as I can from drugs.

Start slow, pushups and situps, get a single dumbbell and move at whatever pace is comfortable for you, with enough use you'll see positive appearance, which in turn makes you do and try more and feel better about yourself which makes everyday life easier.

Keep up the good work chem

 

[herbavore]

^I agree. It can be so hard to get the motivation but sometimes you just have to force yourself without motivation then let the good feels reward the brain for next time. I should talk, though. I'm being a hypocrite here because I have been really letting my exercise go down the drain lately.

Maybe we should make a pact and check back in? I'll either swim or go for a walk if you do.

 

[chemctrl]

^I agree. It can be so hard to get the motivation but sometimes you just have to force yourself without motivation then let the good feels reward the brain for next time. I should talk, though. I'm being a hypocrite here because I have been really letting my exercise go down the drain lately.

Maybe we should make a pact and check back in? I'll either swim or go for a walk if you do.

Don't make me!! Haha. The street I live on is a little circle, I'll walk it once if you'll walk your block haha. Gotta find motivation somehow, and how could I let down herbavore?

 

[Xorkoth]

The hardest part of exercising is actually deciding to do it. But there truly is a reason so many people say it's one of if not the most important thing in recovery.