I have been taking between 350-400 mg of oxycodone a day for about 2 years. Before that have been taking them for about 8 years, just around 30-60 my a day. I have finally got way out of control. I have been spending over 130k a year just on pills. I make good money, but even now i can hardly keep cash in my pocket. I want to be done all together so badly. I have tried to quit 4 times. Never made it this far. Even tried subs. But screwed that up pretty quick. They demanded i go to 12 meetings a month. I work full time. And have kids in sports. No way i was able to do that. So this time i got 74 hrs. But i just broke down and took 90mg. I have been puking for 2 days. I had a meeting i couldn't miss. So i tried 1. Didn't help at all. Did 2 and was still sick as heck, finally took a 3rd and was able to make it through the meeting. I can still feel the withdrawal, still have a fuzzy head, light headed, incredibly weak upset stomach. I just tried to eat a bit of vegetable soup, was able to get about 15 spoonfulls down. That's the first food in over 2 days. My question is how bad did i just set back my withdrawal? I know I screwed up here and should have just rode it out, i just couldn't miss this meeting. Is this going to completely restart the time table? It didn't stop the withdrawal entirely, the dose was equal or less than one normal dose i would take normally. Normally took 3-4 some times 5 30mg pills at a time. I snorted these as i normally do. Please don't beat me up too bad for the relapse. I really do want to stop, i know it's breaking me and my family. I just can't stop my life completely unfortunately. I am taking tomorrow off work again. I took all of today aside from the late meeting. Possibly taking the next day off too, I'll have to go in for a few hours minimum on Thursday. I dont intend too, or want to do anymore. I really have made the choice that this is the time. If any of you know if I'm completely screwed here and starting over right from the start, or if it will be a bit easier this time and hopefully shorter. The past 2 1/2 days have been rough, sipped a bit of apple juice, other wise ate nothing, puked every few hours, if i would finally fall asleep, I'd wake up to puke. I really hope this hasn't started all that over again. Thank you in advance. Sorry for the really long post, I just wanted to make sure I was specific.
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BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
74 hrs in and took 3 pills. How bad did i screw up?
- Thread starter Erik b
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T. Calderone
Bluelight Crew
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- Aug 1, 2010
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- 8,986
It's hard to say how far you may have set yourself back since you only took enough oxycodone to stave the sickness off. You maintained a pretty high dosage for two years so I would expect you need a bit more time before you feel well again. There is no absolute set in stone number of days or hours but for me, the gastrointestinal symptoms eased up about the third or fourth day. I've found that the more times I put myself through withdrawals, it came on faster but maybe that was me psyching myself out.
As far as getting back on opiate replacement therapy, can you see another doctor? It doesn't seem fair to remove your medication because you can't attend meetings. I had a psychiatrist that specialized in addiction who prescribed suboxone back in 2009. My issue was I wasn't ready to quit and didn't take it seriously so only took subs when I ran out of oxycodone. It's a crazy hamster wheel that's hard to get off.
What you can do tonight is just sip water and see if you can keep it down. All that vomiting can leave you dehydrated. Tomorrow try to eat foods easy on your stomach like rice, bananas, applesauce or toast. There are medications that can help ease your symptoms like gabapentin (Neurontin) and clonidine. A benzo-type drug would help with sleep. You can visit our Sober living section if you need help so you don't relapse. I hope you start to feel better soon and let us know how you're doing.
As far as getting back on opiate replacement therapy, can you see another doctor? It doesn't seem fair to remove your medication because you can't attend meetings. I had a psychiatrist that specialized in addiction who prescribed suboxone back in 2009. My issue was I wasn't ready to quit and didn't take it seriously so only took subs when I ran out of oxycodone. It's a crazy hamster wheel that's hard to get off.
What you can do tonight is just sip water and see if you can keep it down. All that vomiting can leave you dehydrated. Tomorrow try to eat foods easy on your stomach like rice, bananas, applesauce or toast. There are medications that can help ease your symptoms like gabapentin (Neurontin) and clonidine. A benzo-type drug would help with sleep. You can visit our Sober living section if you need help so you don't relapse. I hope you start to feel better soon and let us know how you're doing.
Nobody here will “beat you up” for the relapse. Most of us have been in your position. I’m in a constant state of “relapse” lol
Your dosage was suuuuper high. So your withdrawals are going to be horrendous. Not trying to discourage you, but that’s the reality. Which you’ve already figured out by your description.
Now, your 90mg relapse dose wasn’t ideal, but I don’t think it will set you back too much. But it’s really difficult to say for sure. WDs are an inexact science, and everyone is different.
You were relatively far along, so just keep trying to power through it as best you can.
I don’t really have a lot of tactical recommendations for you. This post is just more to encourage you and know that others have been in your position before and have succeeded. So you can too.
Honestly the best thing you can do right now is to flush any pills you may have left, and delete all contact info from your phone about your dealers, and make them “disappear”. Knowing that pills are easy to get is a hard obstacle to overcome during this time.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Your dosage was suuuuper high. So your withdrawals are going to be horrendous. Not trying to discourage you, but that’s the reality. Which you’ve already figured out by your description.
Now, your 90mg relapse dose wasn’t ideal, but I don’t think it will set you back too much. But it’s really difficult to say for sure. WDs are an inexact science, and everyone is different.
You were relatively far along, so just keep trying to power through it as best you can.
I don’t really have a lot of tactical recommendations for you. This post is just more to encourage you and know that others have been in your position before and have succeeded. So you can too.
Honestly the best thing you can do right now is to flush any pills you may have left, and delete all contact info from your phone about your dealers, and make them “disappear”. Knowing that pills are easy to get is a hard obstacle to overcome during this time.
Good luck and keep us posted.
rainyday107
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Messages
- 266
Hi there,
I am not experienced with heavy opiate abuse, but I just wanted to extend moral support to you. I'm sure others here can give you tips.
Dont feel guilty or anything like that - we aren't judgmental here. I could feel the anxiety in your post. You can get through this - lots of people do and some less important things can wait.
I am not experienced with heavy opiate abuse, but I just wanted to extend moral support to you. I'm sure others here can give you tips.
Dont feel guilty or anything like that - we aren't judgmental here. I could feel the anxiety in your post. You can get through this - lots of people do and some less important things can wait.
