(Cocaine 250mg IV) - Experienced - Seizures, hallucinations - I am a disgrace

[crOOk]

The experience I am about to describe fills me with immense shame. I have been thinking long and hard whether or not to even talk/write about it.

I've taken cocaine intravenously before, but not as much as I have abused other stimulants via this roa. I've never found the bellringer to be all that great. There are a ton of rushes that are more pleasurable to me.

It was both my mom's and a good friend's birthday. We went out for dinner with the family and my wife urged me to go join my friend drinking afterwards.
So I went out for town, had a few short drinks and beer until I eventually realized I was drunk as fuck. Since the two friends I was with aren't into drugs other than pot and booze and the usual suspects (two barkeepers) could not hook me up, I started getting fixated on the idea to yield some stimulant.

I eventually asked an acquaintance who I still know from university. He is now a doctor and studying to become a surgeon, but alas that is probably how we will go down in history due to what the monster that is his IV drug habit has done to his life.

He said he had syringes and needles available. No micron filters though, but acording to him a cigarette filter would do. I have ever injected anything without properly filtering, never shared gear, never not desinfected my skin etc., but the urge was big enough to ignore the fact that I would possibly be injecting pathogens into my bloodstream.

So long story short, we scored 1.2g of what looked, smelled and tasted like some pretty good cocaine. He was behind the wheel despite having lost his driver's license for DUI.

He pulled over to the side of a large street with no pedestrians or cars around at around 3am.

While there were fresh needles, it turned out he did NOT have any fresh syringes, but only old ones he had been using those past days. It was too late though, I was drunk as fuck and not willing to reconsider my plans of getting wrecked.

So he pulled out an old dirty looking spoon and a bottle cap filled with water. We dumped 0.6g into the spoon. It dissolved readily. I was so eager to get the first shot in and trying so hard to ignore the stupidity of what I was doing that I forgot about the filtering altogether.

The syringe was filled with a pink acqeous solution due to remains of his blood still being left in the syringe. I tie off, not applying the non-existant desinfectant and inject 1/6 of the solution (100mg product).

The rush was underwhelming. When he was done sitting out his bellringer I decided that I must have done too little and drew up another 150mg product. This must've been less than 5 minutes after the first shot.

Inject, remove the needle and - if I recall correctly - was about to say that I can not get a proper rush out of the shots when suddenly...

I am sitting next to the car and push myself to a standing position with one leg. I feel pretty strong. He was guiding me back inside the car where two more people were sitting - one in the back and one at the wheel. I hallucinated these people.

I enter the car again and realize that I feel extremely dizzy. Everything was spinning.

Now according to him here is what happened:

I removed the needle, started mumbling and went into a tonic clonic seizure that lasted close to 6 minutes. I then tried to leave the car where I immediately started convulsing again, but he was there to catch me until the second wave had subsided after another 3 minutes.

Within roughly 15-30 minutes I was feeling on top of it again and had another couple of shots at lower doses. Nothing to write home about.

It was the next day when I really started to appreciate how fucking stupid I had been. This 'friend' is in the habit of visiting swinger clubs and celebrating s&m orgies on a weekly basis and has completely given up on safe practices of IV drug use. I directly injected his blood into my bloodstream along with leftovers from bottled drinking water.

It looks like I did not catch an abcess which is a huge relief. I am never gonna inject that fucking poison into my body again.

I feel so fucking ashame.

substancecode_cocaine
substancecode_stimulants
explevel_experienced
roacode_iv
exptype_negative
exptype_disaster
exptype_health

 

[BehindtheShadow]

If I were you I would go have a HIV test to make sure you are ok. Maybe explain what you did and they could possibly give you some meds now to try prevent HIV.
Good Luck

 

[crOOk]

If I were you I would go have a HIV test to make sure you are ok. Maybe explain what you did and they could possibly give you some meds now to try prevent HIV.
Good Luck

Thank you and yes, that is what I should do.

If it turns out I am still healthy, I'll be kinda glad this happened. We've all heard this plenty of times before, but I am convinced that I will not shoot that poison up my veins another time. In fact, I will skip injecting the methamphetamine I ordered as well. Maybe I should abstain from injecting any stimulants at all, which I only do every few months or so anyway. Godfuckingdamnit this was the most disgusting thing I've done in my entire fucking life.

EDIT: Turns out there is a place closeby where I had an abcess treated before that keeps PEP meds stocked. I will have some time to go there tomorrow morning. crOOk, you fucking moron!
I probably wouldn't have gone there if it wasn't for you post!

EDIT: They only do PEP up to 48 hours after exposure after which it won't be of any use. He just started working in another hospital and had a full checkup. I will just have to take this as yet another bad dream that left me feeling scared and ashamed for months to come. In that way, I should probably be thankful for it. Fucking 9 minutes of tonic clonic seizures... Ugh. Looks like I am not developing an abcess though. I take Amoxycillin and Clavulate to be a tad safer. An abcess before our vacation in three days would be a total disaster. Can't wait to hide the inside of my elbow for the duration of the vacation. Yay.

 

[crOOk]

So this guy I was with invests very little into hygienic safety measures. Despite having access to 220nm filters he recently drew water from a public toilet (yes, from the inside of the toilet) and injected it along with his cocaine without any further measures, like filtering out particles with a cigarette filter or heating the mixture.

He's only been injecting for a good year now, it's absolutely shocking what IV cocaine can do to a man. He used to be fine smoking crack, but now his arms look like those of a corpse that was just washed to shore. He cut out a number of abcesses himself and would just inject antibiotics for two weeks. I've met him on his way to the doctor to pick up some MPA, with three fucking peripheral veinous catheters in his arm. I could go on and on and on, but you get the idea.

Everyone who is considering to get into IV drug use should meet him. As one of the brightest students among us he pulled off studying medicine while raising two kids with lots of love (one of them only three days older than mine), he used to have a wonderful wife, really anything someone with an addiction can hope for. Then along came the needles. It's very saddening for me to think that he will not make it through the next few years, but I am also very grateful to witness the ugliest and darkest side of drug abuse like that. The same goes for my own escapades of the past years.

Most would say people like him are plain stupid or antisocial, but anyone who has seen the monster that IV drug addiction is will see the tragedy of it all.

 

[Xorkoth]

Jesus man, I hope you didn't catch something incurable. That's a really freaky story. I can't say I haven't done stuff that was stupid that made me feel ashamed when on drugs, especially alcohol and benzos. I've never IVed so fortunately I wasn't ever exposed to that part of drug use (a very conscious decision and resolve I made and continue to make). I'm glad you learned something though. To be honest I think IVing drugs is fucking dangerous and really asking for trouble, especially if you have addictive tendencies (as most of us on here probably do). You probably shouldn't do it anymore, you have some great things, sounds like your life is good and you have people you love, and continuing to IV is probably the biggest danger to that.

I really hope you didn't catch something. Hope you're okay man.

 

[Speed King]

Thanks for posting your report. I hope your safe and doing better. This report is a good lesson for anyone who reads it.

 

[crOOk]

Jesus man, I hope you didn't catch something incurable. That's a really freaky story. I can't say I haven't done stuff that was stupid that made me feel ashamed when on drugs, especially alcohol and benzos. I've never IVed so fortunately I wasn't ever exposed to that part of drug use (a very conscious decision and resolve I made and continue to make). I'm glad you learned something though. To be honest I think IVing drugs is fucking dangerous and really asking for trouble, especially if you have addictive tendencies (as most of us on here probably do). You probably shouldn't do it anymore, you have some great things, sounds like your life is good and you have people you love, and continuing to IV is probably the biggest danger to that.

I really hope you didn't catch something. Hope you're okay man.

Nobody should really make it a habit to inject cocaine, especially not me. My life is far from perfect, but what I have are people who love me and I sure don't want to fuck that up.

My first reaction to my acquaintances statement starting with "next time..." was to say "never again!"
I rarely say something like that, but I honestly think I'll have an easy time not feeling the urge to dose cocaine via that route if it's given to me for free. I've done cocaine several hundred times, but can count the times I spent money on it with one hand. Three fingers actually.

It's something that almost exclusively happens when I'm drunk. That was the original idea, just a single line to end my drunken state (one thing that worked). In consequence, I decided not to go out drinking with my buddy anymore. No more short drinks for some time to come.

I recommend the same thing to my two friends (while one of them is a friend to no one, I basically just give him mental support and borrow him money). It's much easier not to drink than it is to not acquire cocaine and shoot up when one is already drunk. However, neither is exactly easy when addiction's got you by the balls as we all know.

Only the future will tell, but I honestly don't think cocaine will pose any danger to me anymore. In fact I decided not to inject MDMA, meth or cocaine anymore (or in the case of meth not at all).

Thanks for posting your report. I hope your safe and doing better. This report is a good lesson for anyone who reads it.

I am happy you said that. That is one good thing that comes of such experiences and reports about them.

I obviously can not be sure to not have caught any pathogens, but I don't see an abcess developing. Hopefully it's not just delayed due to the antibiotics I'm taking. Not to speak of the rift of more serious complications.

However I am not overly worried. He swore to me that he's not had unprotected sex for month before his last checkup, since he is in a relationship. I can not waste my time with worrying, but may want to have myself tested sometime in the near future.

Another friend, another doctor, had a few similar sessions with the person in question and is going crazy over it. He injected his blood as well. What the fuck?!

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah you should get yourself tested quite soon, you do not want to infect your wife if you got something. And if you did get something, the sooner you catch it, the better.

 

[Bagseed]

yeah definitely only have safe sex until you know you're neg...

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Only the future will tell, but I honestly don't think cocaine will pose any danger to me anymore. In fact I decided not to inject MDMA, meth or cocaine anymore (or in the case of meth not at all).

do u mean not inject any drug whatsoever?

trust me, having rules where you only inject certain drugs doesn't work. if you have needles for injecting heroin, and aquire cocaine. You are not going to abstain. I hope that is not what you are telling yourself

 

[crOOk]

do u mean not inject any drug whatsoever?

trust me, having rules where you only inject certain drugs doesn't work. if you have needles for injecting heroin, and aquire cocaine. You are not going to abstain. I hope that is not what you are telling yourself

I don't inject anything on a regular basis and since I am not in touch with the scene it is very easy for me to avoid injecting stimulants or in this case drugs that affect SERT. Especially now that I had a seizure. I will still inject dissociatives on occasion. Only time will tell, but I've successfully changed my patterns of use for the better more than once. You need to understand what a lesson this seizure is to me. It scares the shit out of me.

In fact, I used to inject stimulants on a regular basis, but not these days. The last time before the disaster in question was a couple of months ago. I shook that habit off.
On the rare occasion that I do inject a stimulant I only have one needle at home which I break off post-injecction. Easy as that.

I also used to poke myself bloody on dissociatives, but these days I only do one IV injection and IM's after that.

On top of that my wife simply hides all injectable drugs or actually all recreational drugs from me. Otherwise I'd be slamming every chance I get.

So we have found strategies that do work to keep the monster under control. This is just another step in that same direction. Of course I can not exclude the possibility of slipping, like I did last weekend. In consequence of this mishap I will abstain from going out drinking altogether.

You know addiction is a bitch and I surely am an addict just like most people who IV drugs. That doesn't mean we all inevitably go down in history with a needle stuck in our arm. I appreciate your advice, but at the same time I think you are jumping the gun with your assumptions, since you don't know my history of drug abuse. I've been in much darker places with much more problematic patterns of use.

Yeah you should get yourself tested quite soon, you do not want to infect your wife if you got something. And if you did get something, the sooner you catch it, the better.

Yes, absolutely.

 

[pofacedhoe]

so someone else has to hide drugs from you and you think that is having your behaviour under control

sorry but that is deluded

only having stopped a behaviour (injecting stims) 3 months ago (while still injecting other drugs- dissociatives) doesn't really count yet as having broke the pattern. try 2 years

if i were you i would put down the needle

 

[crOOk]

You aren't the least bit interested in my history of drug abuse, are you? If you aren't interested in an actual exchange of thoughts, I suggest you invest your time into more productive things. Like educating those who need education on the topic of substance use disorders.

That being said, do you honestly think I feel "in control" after 20 years of polytoxicomania, 5 years of IV drug abuse, over 1000 therapy sessions and countless events that nearly wiped me off the face of the earth? Do you really consider me that stupid? We can't even control when we die!

What was that thing about "three months"? I said a couple of months since the last stimulant injection I think.

But guess what! It so happens that I have been off daily intravenous stimulant abuse for 2 years and 4 months. Do I qualify for being talked to like an adult now?

Throughout the years "staying clean" changed it's meaning to me. I consider it extremely unlikely that I will ever abstain from drugs altogether, but I try to keep my use to an absolute minimum and have been doing what my friends, family, wife, psychiatrist and most importantly I consider very well throughout the past two years. Note how 'you' are not in that list.

For that I have to thank my wife over anybody else.

But of course, it's a slippery slope and chances are I've seen nothing yet.

Please try to show more respect towards people you don't and don't want to know the first thing about. Proper punctuation and capitalization could be part of that.

 

[BehindtheShadow]

Thank you and yes, that is what I should do.

Pleasure on the advise - just be careful next time ok

 

[jackie jones]

I made the stupid mistake of sharing a cotton with someone on a couple of occasions. It is the same thing as sharing a needle in my mind. I got tested shortly thereafter. Clean, but it weighed heavily on my mind for a while. IV cocaine is what I believe is the worst thing I have ever done to my body. I have only done it a few times. The last time, I put a pulse oximeter on about an hour thereafter, and my pulse rate was hovering at 150. After the initial euphoria, it felt like a thorough cardiac emergency. Dumb.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

crook. I havn't injected in about 3 years and used to inject opiates everyday and stims when i had them.

I believe you are on the right track since your use has goine from daily to sporadic and you feel this immense guilt coupled with use. That guilt was what really made me stop, coupled with an intense fear that I was getting hepatitis everytime i injected (I'm a bit Ocd like that). Where everytime i injected even with clean everything i would obsess that the dealer transferred hep to the pills. then i would be stressed for months, pay 200 for a blood test just to stop the worrying (live in america, where they would rather have you spreading aids than getting free healthcare).

Also, being in a seriuos relatinship meant i had someone else that was innnocent to watch our for now too, and couldn't put them at risk and look at myself in the mirror, while if it was still just me bymyself...i probably wouldn't care. But i knew i couldn't live with tranferring a disease to this person. so I quit for good

after several years of not injecting I picked up some rigs for some IV ketamine holes on a once off thing, since i rarely get ket. Guess whaat I was doing the next day? Injecting some indian opiates i had around that had virtually no reports online of whether these pills were injectable, and they hurt like fuck when they went in. This after years of not injecting and not even thinking i would have the urge to inject.

 

[kgeisel98]

Throughout the years "staying clean" changed it's meaning to me. I consider it extremely unlikely that I will ever abstain from drugs altogether, but I try to keep my use to an absolute minimum and have been doing what my friends, family, wife, psychiatrist and most importantly I consider very well throughout the past two years. Note how 'you' are not in that list.

But of course, it's a slippery slope and chances are I've seen nothing yet.

CrOOk I can identify with how you feel about drug use in your life. I used cocaine daily for several years and then started smoking crack again. I used as often as I could which was small amounts daily.

We moved from the small town we lived in closer to Toronto and I have 1 1/2hrs to travel to score now. (Tried hooking up here but got "industrial" crack that makes me feel sick with no high). So now I am using once a month.

I'd hoped to gain freedom from daily using when we moved and the geographical cure has definitely helped that process. I don't want to give up my coke forever as I am quite content with monthly use.

My family also supports me in my choice (although they'd prefer me to quit). I find I'm less moody now too. I don't have the obsession driving me to use any more and that is a blessing. I truly accept where I'm at. I don't obsess in any way about my using any more as I am reasonably happy with my life (except mental illness which is what it is).

I'm sorry to hear of your experience. Many poor decisions are made under the influence of alcohol. I hope everything works out okay for you, especially health wise!

 

[corticosteroid]

Honestly, I would never IV anything. Smoke, oral, and snort, otherwise it isn't worth it. IV and any other form of injections, really, should only be done in medical settings or by professionals to reduce harm as well as not while intoxicated already. I'm sorry you went through this, but simply take it as a lesson. Glad you didn't get majorly hurt. And, to everybody here, listen. NEVER CRUSH AND IV ANYTHING. NOTHING. No, just fucking don't. Even if you think you've filtered out the pill cuts, no. It's much better to just snort, parachute, or orally dose in existing tablet form than to inject pill cuts into yourself and have a blood vessel block or serious infection. ONLY, please, ever IV powders and with safe solvents. I, personally, once again, would never IV anything, but you do you. Just don't die while doing it...please. And, with this, even if I were fucked up on 30 Valium tablets, I would never even consider doing this. BLOOD. You injected someone else's blood. I'm crying, and it's not out of laughter...Damn.

--Corticosteroid, PsychonautWiki member

 

[Xorkoth]

How are you doing crook? Ever get any test results back?

 

[crOOk]

How are you doing crook? Ever get any test results back?

Hey Xorkoth. Well I skipped the tests. Surely nothing I'm proud of, but he assured me that he hasn't had unprotected sex with anyone but his partner for at least a year, never shared needles with anyone other than me and another guy we know from med school (still studying) who has only seen a few cocaine shots in his life (never shared a needle before that).

He also had himself tested when he recently started working in another hospital.

So yeah, some may call this irresponsible towards my wife, but I am not the least bit worried to have caught any infections that day. Surely nothing I am planning to repeat - ever.

It was my birthday last week and after my daughter left to sleep over at my parents place we were gonna go out for dinner, but this other friend I mentioned spontaneously came over and celebrated with us. We took some MDMA, emptied two bottles of whisky and a couple from downstairs joined us with some amphetamine. We had a really good time.

Eventually however, it must've been around 4am, my friend called his coke dealer against my urging him not to. He happened to have his gear with him (sigh) and shot up once. He got severe CACP (with bp 170/130) which served him right.
Throughout the entire process from him placing the order to his shot I did not feel the least bit inclined to go for one myself. Not even for a split second.

So despite the many stupid things I've done I once again saw that I am still able to learn from bad experience. It's not just seizures, abcesses, superficial veinous thromboses, disociative accidents, bruises and my 'blood letting incidents' that turn me off IV drug use, it's the sum of all the bad experiences I've had.

Even the good experiences don't seem to have been 'all that' in retrospect. I haven't craved needles, endless speed sessions, dissociative holes or any other type of drug experience in a long time now, despite still using occasionally. I suppose I'm lucky.

Thank you for caring, Xorkoth.

EDIT: I also decided to never let anyone shoot up shit in our place anymore, even though it has only happened a couple of times. Things are just bound to go wrong.