Feel like I'm in a dream state after mdma, help!

[Isabelljade]

Hi! I'm 18,Female.

So about 2 weeks ago I took just over half a gram of Mandy over 3 days, so did my boyfriend. We got it off my boyfriends bestfriend and cousin, so we think it was safe.

The Monday after fest we was both feeling really sad and cried at everything for no reason, the next day, he seemed normal where I had got worse. I felt like I couldn't be happy at all, non stop crying! Had to take days off work. I felt like I had no emotions or feelings, it felt like I didn't love my boyfriend no more. I started taking 5htp, and it was working, within a couple of days I felt a bit better, my emotions where still up and down.

It's been just over 2 weeks now, I can enjoy stuff and be happy now but still have times where I feel really down. But what's got worse now is everything feels like I'm in a dream state and nothing feels real. Everything in the past, including things that happened 5 minutes ago don't feel like that actually happened, like i imagined it. I tried taking 5htp again but it felt like it made me worse so I've stopped taking them.

My emotions and feelings are better but still not back to normal, I don't feel like I love my boyfriend as much as I did before festival and he doesn't feel like I'm the same person!

I've been eating healthy, drinking only orange juice and water, walking, sleeping well.

Will I get better? Have I caused perminate damage?? When will life feel real again?

Any advice is much appreciated, just wanna feel myself again.

 

[third_eye_lasik]

Things tend to get a little werid after a really strong MDMA experience. Sometimes it takes weeks or even months to feel "normal" again. Just eat healthy and continue to monitor your progress you will get better. Also 5thp really only helps for a few days after. If I continue to take it it makes the strange feelings of serotonin depletion worse for some reason. Vitamins are a big help too.

 

[Mafioso]

It sounds like you are experiencing some depersonalization. Do you take other drugs/did you use any other drugs when you took the mandy?

If it is drug induced, beyond eating a well balanced diet and getting some exercise I don't think there is much you can do. Stay away from other drugs, your body needs some time to heal. You likely won't need more than time, proper diet, and exercise. I guess friends/family are essential to mental well-being if you ask me. Being isolated will only amplify negative feelings IME.

Try to be optimistic and not discouraged by feeling not well. Get out and do things. I've gone through 2 psychotic episodes due to heavy drug use. Each time for about 1-3 months afterward I had problems thinking straight, my emotions were all over the place and life was a real struggle in general. The key to making it through is really as simple as pushing onward and not giving up on life. Believe in the mind and bodies ability to heal itself, supply it with the proper tools(nutrition is huge) to repair itself.. Emotional support is big too.

 

[Isabelljade]

It sounds like you are experiencing some depersonalization. Do you take other drugs/did you use any other drugs when you took the mandy?

If it is drug induced, beyond eating a well balanced diet and getting some exercise I don't think there is much you can do. Stay away from other drugs, your body needs some time to heal. You likely won't need more than time, proper diet, and exercise. I guess friends/family are essential to mental well-being if you ask me. Being isolated will only amplify negative feelings IME.

Try to be optimistic and not discouraged by feeling not well. Get out and do things. I've gone through 2 psychotic episodes due to heavy drug use. Each time for about 1-3 months afterward I had problems thinking straight, my emotions were all over the place and life was a real struggle in general. The key to making it through is really as simple as pushing onward and not giving up on life. Believe in the mind and bodies ability to heal itself, supply it with the proper tools(nutrition is huge) to repair itself.. Emotional support is big too.

Didn't do any other drugs, but drank a fair bit of alcohol.

Thank you for your advice! Trying to stay positive is difficult at times, I live with my boyfriend though and he's helping a lot.

When this all passes will my feelings for people be completely restored to how they was? It's really difficult looking at my boyfriend and not loving him as much as I want to.

 

[debearded]

I agree with Mafioso - sounds like depersonalization to me. It's been known to happen after rolling pretty hard and depends on dose, lifetime usage, quality, and your own predisposition toward it. Hopefully it will resolve on it's own if you can keep holding on. Ol Mandy will change your brain chemistry and sometimes it takes weeks or even months to go back to normal so like Mafioso said: try and stay positive, avoid drugs and alcohol, keep yourself healthy and give your brain some time to heal itself. Best of luck!

 

[Mafioso]

Didn't do any other drugs, but drank a fair bit of alcohol.

Thank you for your advice! Trying to stay positive is difficult at times, I live with my boyfriend though and he's helping a lot.

When this all passes will my feelings for people be completely restored to how they was? It's really difficult looking at my boyfriend and not loving him as much as I want to.

Yes and no... You will likely have the same capacity to care about others and experience emotions, but you will likely have to work at it. I don't know if "restored" is the right word as just waiting and laying around will likely bring about a depression or general sadness.

I think talking about it with your boyfriend and going about normal routine, like going out to dinner, seeing a movie or hanging out with friends, is important, even if you don't feel the same amount of enjoyment. It's likely that one day in a matter of weeks from now you will catch yourself laughing until your stomach hurts and realize your "back". It doesn't come over night or all at once, but slowly in little bits at a time.

 

[motiv311]

why would you take a half a gram? you are going to have a hard couple of months and then likely be ok... don't do anymore drugs until you really have grown up and do more research first

 

[Citizen]

Hi Isabel.
Don't worry, you will be fine.
I had depersonalisation/derealisation for nearly two months after being stupid with MDMA.
It will go away.

1. Don't drink, smoke, or do drugs
2. Eat healthy. No candy, fast food etc. Eat a lot of fruits and veggies.
3. Be prepared that this might last for weeks. Otherwise you will wake up disapointed every day.
4. Do cardio! Go outside and run. Go bike riding!
5. Drink lots of water.

Give your brain time to recover.

I'm fine now, but the only problem that stayed is tinnitus.. ringing in my ears.. I have it for a few months now after a stupid MDMA dose

 

[Citizen]

Read this:

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ME-I-GOT-BETTER-(good-to-be-fixed-in-the-top)

 

[Isabelljade]

Thank you all so much for your replies!!

It's been about a month now since it all started and I'm a lot better!

My emotions are back, not as much as before but definitely close. I do still feel like I'm in a dream state but not as severe as before. And it goes up and down during the day. I'm acting a lot more like myself and feel a lot better.

My memories still feel distant and not real but I'm sure that will sort it's self out soon.

I feel like this might be the last stage before recovery. Any one know is this is a long process or will I be back to normal soon??

Thank you again

 

[Mafioso]

Glad to hear you are feeling better.

I'm not sure how long it can last to be honest. I know MDMA is a pretty serious drug and have known people who have developed stutters and all sorts of problems from prolonged heavy use. I would think it depends on how much you used and for how long. Half a gram is a really high dose and can be pretty dangerous. If it was only on a single occasions your recovery will likely be much quicker than someone who is dropping half grams every weekend. I would guess a matter of months if even that, but I don't know if there is a definitive answer. The truth is, it may not even have been MDMA with all the RCs floating around being sold as MDMA.

Regardless of all that though, proper diet will speed up recovery. Giving your body the essential nutrients it needs to repair itself is key. Exercise should help as well, it will stimulate metabolism and natural "feel good" chemicals.

I would think to try and focus on your day rather than questioning whether you are 100% or not. It is easy to get hung up on our faults and not see all the positive. It sounds like you are doing well, keep on moving forward.

 

[Citizen]

I feel like this might be the last stage before recovery. Any one know is this is a long process or will I be back to normal soon??

People often mention 3 months as the magic time after last usage for them to notice significant improvement. Try to workout and be healthy until then. Then let us know how you feel.