Hello Bluelight! It's been quite awhile since I've been active here, and I imagine few, if anyone, remembers me or my story. I'll summarize the background quickly. I was last active while trying to kick a 2-3 year opioid dependence (oxy--->rent--->subs), and found the board to be a remarkable support. I was able to taper from sub (<.01mg) to Kratom and then (pretty easily at that point) to the periodic drug use I prefer (I have not however, taken anything stronger then a post acute injury perc 5, in terms of opis, since). Life was good, and it's been between 3 and 5 years since I felt any w/d symtoms. I'm still thankfully clean of opis, but the title may have tipped you off that i fucked up.
My best friend overdosed on PST and benzos not too long back, and it fucked me up. Lifelong, first friends, closer then family kinda thing, I'm sure many of you have buried the same, but to the rest, I hope you never suffer that pain. Met the kid in first grade, went into the mental health field because of the way he was failed by so called professionals. Regardless, I have never hesitated to take stupid risks for the sake of experience, and as such I began to abuse etizolam to understand the hell he had become trapped in. I suppose I told myself I didn't intend to take it very far, maybe a week or two, as I had often gotten massive rebound anxiety from single day recreational use and had not taken benzos in over a decade.
It's been 2-3 mounths, and my best guess has me taking 110 1mg etilaam pills, from a highly reliable and trustworthy source (don't PM, both because its against the rules and because its pointless as they are done). I was not taking them daily, but the last week I was on vacation and took 8 etiz, and drank virtually everyday (only 1 etiz daily, 8 in the week). Now I didn't expect anything, so Monday when I had odd "shortness of breath" I figured it was random, and didn't even admit to myself what it meant when the etiz solved that problem. I didn't take any on Tuesday and woke up last night at 5:30am thinking the weed tea I drank was giving me a panic attack. I reviewed my symtoms and my clinical training forced me to accept the inevitable, benzo withdrawal. I tried to wait the panic attack out but work soon, and need to function for clients. So I took a small dose of Phenibut (200mg), and some tianeptimine (40mg), and feel 90% better. I am aware the risks of these substances, and highly familiar with their use. I've never had any issue with either of them, nor a strong affinity for them. I have a ton of etiz left, and will taper if it becomes really nessisary, but would prefer to cut this off here (I dont find them tempting, really don't enjoy them enough to prolong use and increae length of w/d symtoms, unlike opiates where I willingly pushed off quitting for over a year because I LOVE suboxone.)
Mostly telling my story, open to input, but I'm an avid reader, so bring personal experiences, not research, as I've probably read it at some point, and mostly make highly informed bad decitions, rather then the opposite. This community has helped me during two very difficult periods, and I thank you for any support you may have for me now.
My best friend overdosed on PST and benzos not too long back, and it fucked me up. Lifelong, first friends, closer then family kinda thing, I'm sure many of you have buried the same, but to the rest, I hope you never suffer that pain. Met the kid in first grade, went into the mental health field because of the way he was failed by so called professionals. Regardless, I have never hesitated to take stupid risks for the sake of experience, and as such I began to abuse etizolam to understand the hell he had become trapped in. I suppose I told myself I didn't intend to take it very far, maybe a week or two, as I had often gotten massive rebound anxiety from single day recreational use and had not taken benzos in over a decade.
It's been 2-3 mounths, and my best guess has me taking 110 1mg etilaam pills, from a highly reliable and trustworthy source (don't PM, both because its against the rules and because its pointless as they are done). I was not taking them daily, but the last week I was on vacation and took 8 etiz, and drank virtually everyday (only 1 etiz daily, 8 in the week). Now I didn't expect anything, so Monday when I had odd "shortness of breath" I figured it was random, and didn't even admit to myself what it meant when the etiz solved that problem. I didn't take any on Tuesday and woke up last night at 5:30am thinking the weed tea I drank was giving me a panic attack. I reviewed my symtoms and my clinical training forced me to accept the inevitable, benzo withdrawal. I tried to wait the panic attack out but work soon, and need to function for clients. So I took a small dose of Phenibut (200mg), and some tianeptimine (40mg), and feel 90% better. I am aware the risks of these substances, and highly familiar with their use. I've never had any issue with either of them, nor a strong affinity for them. I have a ton of etiz left, and will taper if it becomes really nessisary, but would prefer to cut this off here (I dont find them tempting, really don't enjoy them enough to prolong use and increae length of w/d symtoms, unlike opiates where I willingly pushed off quitting for over a year because I LOVE suboxone.)
Mostly telling my story, open to input, but I'm an avid reader, so bring personal experiences, not research, as I've probably read it at some point, and mostly make highly informed bad decitions, rather then the opposite. This community has helped me during two very difficult periods, and I thank you for any support you may have for me now.