Mental Health Apointment at trauma clinic tomorrow . Trying to get on Ativan

[Ganja Gremlin]

So what is the best way to go about getting them ? I am not trying to get them to abuse , I am diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and PTSD ,along with an eating disorder and depression . When I was in the hospital in the past they gave me Ativan , all I did was ask for something for anxiety around eating and they were super nice about it but that also was in inpatient for my eating disorder




but the clinic I am going to is for trauma , what I am going to tell them is that my anxiety is taking over my life , I am having panic attacks all the time that are triggered by both PTSD and my anxiety disorder . Last week for example I thought I saw the man who raped me when an was 17 ( they never caught him) but I litterally couldn't tell if it was just some random person or really him and it sent me into this huge PTSD an anxiety trip all day .


Benzos really do help my ptsd ... I have been self medicating with xanax but I am not going to ask for xanax . I'm thinking if I just tell them I have been on Ativan on the past in the hospital and it was really helpful , they would put me on it .






Now I'm just praying they don't drug test me xD a case worker is helping me schedule my appointments and she said if i don't like this clinic I can go somewhere else so it's gonna be pretty easy to doctor shop , I'm just worried since I'm 18 that they won't wanna prescribe to me ... I think I should maybe ask for only as needed ... but my ptsd and anxiety is pretty severe

 

[Nod Alot]

Sorry man we really don't help people here to procure drugs or prescriptions. Just advice like "well if you're going to use, here's the safest way to go about it". Sorry.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Indeed, BL isnt here to help you get drugs from an MD. So this might just get closed. In the hopes of maybe getting you some support in terms of the trauma therapy, I've moved this to MH. Don't mean to hand off a problem thread to you folks, but...

od->mh

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

Sorry man we really don't help people here to procure drugs or prescriptions. Just advice like "well if you're going to use, here's the safest way to go about it". Sorry.

I realize that but the Ativan and xanax does really help my ptsd , it's not really seeking drugs I need the medication to function

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

Indeed, BL isnt here to help you get drugs from an MD. So this might just get closed. In the hopes of maybe getting you some support in terms of the trauma therapy, I've moved this to MH. Don't mean to hand off a problem thread to you folks, but...

od->mh

Sorry if this post was not allowed , I didn't realize because I am not trying to abuse this medication I am simply trying to get prescribed it to help with my anxiety attacks and PTSD

 

[Jabberwocky]

Which is why I moved it to MH

Technically asking about doctor shopping and generally how to manipulate medications out of doctors is expressly forbidden on BL. However, that doesn't mean we can help give you advice and support about managing your conditions, both in terms of meds and through other means.

Please don't let my moving this put you off. Moving it to MH simply because they specifically address issues such as trauma therapy, whereas OD not so much. Actually it might have been better to move it to TDS, but alas I wasn't thinking clearly it would seem. Hey, what's new? 8)

 

[cj]

Most doctors won't use benzos as a first line medication for anxiety because they tend to lose effectiveness rapidly and actually cause what's called rebound anxiety after they wear off. Plus anxiety like u describe is constant usually and taking benzos all day everyday just doesn't work long term. Studies have proved that.

You will probably get a combination of drugs to start with. Expect an antidepressant as they are used to treat anxiety as well. Probably vistaril which is a non narcotic anxiety drug. Trazadone is a popular sleep aid if you have trouble with that. That is likely a snap shot of a first appointment med list.

Now over time as he/she gets to know you and your symptoms that may change to something more of your liking.

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

Most doctors won't use benzos as a first line medication for anxiety because they tend to lose effectiveness rapidly and actually cause what's called rebound anxiety after they wear off. Plus anxiety like u describe is constant usually and taking benzos all day everyday just doesn't work long term. Studies have proved that.

You will probably get a combination of drugs to start with. Expect an antidepressant as they are used to treat anxiety as well. Probably vistaril which is a non narcotic anxiety drug. Trazadone is a popular sleep aid if you have trouble with that. That is likely a snap shot of a first appointment med list.

Now over time as he/she gets to know you and your symptoms that may change to something more of your liking.

I've already tried vistaril it doesn't work , I need something for when I'm having anxiety attacks , I'm sick of having to buy benzos off the street when I should be perscribed them . I went to my apointment and they are having my see the prescriber next week so I guess I'll see how it goes . The anxiety meds are kinda a last restort , I have tried everything anti depressants, sleep aids like trazadone or remeron , vistaril... nothing works as well as xanax or Ativan

 

[JessFR]

I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Benzos do work great for this sort of thing but only when you take them for short periods of time, which is likely the only way in which doctors will prescribe them for you.

In my experience, it's very different when you're an inpatient in hospital. Since you're under constant Doctor supervision at a fully equipped medical facility, and since in cases of mental health it's generally also to the staffs benefit that the patients are calm, for all these reasons, in my experience, when you're an inpatient they'll give you benzos pretty much whenever you ask for them, and frequently when you haven't asked for them too. They simply aren't worried about you misusing them when they're in full control of what you get and when you get it, so they're very accommodating and far more willing to experiment, since if it doesn't work they can change your meds straight away and don't have to worry about waiting till your next appointment or having something go wrong outside a medical setting.

When you're an outpatient however, then they're far far more restrictive. Getting benzos even totally legitimately can be very hard. I wish you well, I'm a survivor of rape too, it's really fucked that doctors won't just listen when we tell them what has worked for us in the past. At the very least they should prescribe you some to use as needed so long as you aren't going through them too fast or using them regularly.

Doctor shopping is one thing, that's when you get the same script from different doctors, but if you don't like your treatment by one doctor you have every right to try another one until you find one who helps. So long as you tell them honestly what you already have prescribed to you and don't lie to them and try to get multiple scripts for the same drug, that's not Doctor shopping. It's perfectly valid to try different doctors till you find one that actually helps, so long as you're honest with them.

Good luck.

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Benzos do work great for this sort of thing but only when you take them for short periods of time, which is likely the only way in which doctors will prescribe them for you.

In my experience, it's very different when you're an inpatient in hospital. Since you're under constant Doctor supervision at a fully equipped medical facility, and since in cases of mental health it's generally also to the staffs benefit that the patients are calm, for all these reasons, in my experience, when you're an inpatient they'll give you benzos pretty much whenever you ask for them, and frequently when you haven't asked for them too. They simply aren't worried about you misusing them when they're in full control of what you get and when you get it, so they're very accommodating and far more willing to experiment, since if it doesn't work they can change your meds straight away and don't have to worry about waiting till your next appointment or having something go wrong outside a medical setting.

When you're an outpatient however, then they're far far more restrictive. Getting benzos even totally legitimately can be very hard. I wish you well, I'm a survivor of rape too, it's really fucked that doctors won't just listen when we tell them what has worked for us in the past. At the very least they should prescribe you some to use as needed so long as you aren't going through them too fast or using them regularly.

Doctor shopping is one thing, that's when you get the same script from different doctors, but if you don't like your treatment by one doctor you have every right to try another one until you find one who helps. So long as you tell them honestly what you already have prescribed to you and don't lie to them and try to get multiple scripts for the same drug, that's not Doctor shopping. It's perfectly valid to try different doctors till you find one that actually helps, so long as you're honest with them.

Good luck.

Thank you for the advice , if they don't go straight to prescribing medication soon I'm gonna schedule elsewhere ... I might even need to talk to my primary care doctor about an as needed prescription, but my next apointment isn't till the 28th
It is ridiculous that I am having trouble getting prescribed benzos . They are so helpful... I bought a tazer because my anxiety somebody will hurt me again is so bad along with pepper spray . I wish I could have a doctor help me figure out the correct dosage that I need to control my anxiety so I wouldn't have to resort to going to my dealer for meds....
The other day while xanned out I actually started crying because of how anxiety free I felt , I realized that in that moment I was not thinking about any of my trauma , I just felt normal ... I shouldn't be labeled as a drug seeker because I want to feel like myseld again . I am so sorry you have also survived rape... I would not wish that pain onto my worst enemy

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

Ugh I just resorted to hitting up my dealer ... I need like 10 more xanax bars

I really don't wanna get physically addicted to benzos but at the same time every single day fucking hurts .i feel like I deserve to get high. I usuallly only take .5 or 1 mg at a time I'll end up redosing multiple times a day

 

[swisscurrie]

I would stop while you still can.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...e-troubling-facts-risks-and-history-minor?amp

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_long-term_benzodiazepine_use

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome

Physical dependence with Ativan usually occurs within 1-2 weeks of daily use and Ativan especially is known to cause permanent brain damage. Benzos are to be used as an emergency medication or during a panic attack and under no circumstances more than once a week. I would really reconsider what you are doing before you inflict irreversible damage your brain and health.

 

[swisscurrie]

In my opinion the consequences of daily benzodiazepine use, including permanent brain damage, dependence and withdrawal are far worse than the the psychological trauma and PTSD Rape victims experience.

While it is clear you are already addicted to the short term pleasant effects, I sincerely hope you are not yet physically dependent.

I wish you all the best.

 

[herbavore]

I would also caution you to think twice about going on benzos longterm--there are just too many horrible downsides to the physical dependence and eventually they don't work for the anxiety either so then you are stuck with high tolerance, addiction and a dangerous taper (if not done correctly). I think this is why the doctors you are seeing are hesitant to prescribe.

I have suffered from panic attacks as well. It is terrifying. However there are real and effective ways to learn how to control both your thoughts and the physical manifestation (the high blood pressure/racing heart etc) but they take dedicated work and patience. Try to get yourself into therapy and work on the ways you are still being gripped by the trauma of the past. It is not an instant relief like a pill might be but it is much more effctive and in the long term empowering to learn how to heal yourself.

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

I would also caution you to think twice about going on benzos longterm--there are just too many horrible downsides to the physical dependence and eventually they don't work for the anxiety either so then you are stuck with high tolerance, addiction and a dangerous taper (if not done correctly). I think this is why the doctors you are seeing are hesitant to prescribe.

I have suffered from panic attacks as well. It is terrifying. However there are real and effective ways to learn how to control both your thoughts and the physical manifestation (the high blood pressure/racing heart etc) but they take dedicated work and patience. Try to get yourself into therapy and work on the ways you are still being gripped by the trauma of the past. It is not an instant relief like a pill might be but it is much more effctive and in the long term empowering to learn how to heal yourself.

The thing is I don't see how I can ever get over my trauma when the man who did this too me stays free.. all while I fade away .
I am gonna try to limit my benzo use and only use when I'm having one of my really bad panic attacks.

 

[JessFR]

That would be he smart thing to do. So long as you're able to limit your benzo use to no more than as needed once or twice a week or so, you should be ok. The trick is to not fall into the temptation to use more than that, which can be quite difficult, especially when you're going through all the shit ptsd brings with it.

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

That would be he smart thing to do. So long as you're able to limit your benzo use to no more than as needed once or twice a week or so, you should be ok. The trick is to not fall into the temptation to use more than that, which can be quite difficult, especially when you're going through all the shit ptsd brings with it.

I also use opiates , which for some reason help with anxiety and PTSD because they just make me feel numb , I'm trying to take them just 2-3 times a week before it was like 3-5 days a week and then after a binge I started expiercing withdrawals . So I think I should be able to stick to benzos a few days a week and then take my painkillers on the other days

I never actually liked benzos until I developed ptsd, they didn't do much for me ... but I never saught help for my ptsd until now and I wish I would of gotten help sooner because it's gotten to the point where it's taking over my life some days . It's weird because when I take benzos I almost feel like the old me again... before I was fucked up and broken

 

[JessFR]

I wish you luck in getting help. I have suffered from PTSD and various other emotional problems since I was raped nearly 20 years ago (I'm almost 29 now and was 8-13 at the time, I don't really remember, my whole childhood is kinda a blur in my memory).

Be careful with the benzos but especially with the opiates. Using them to numb your feels is very common among survivors of rape andor childhood abuse, I did it and over the past 7 years or so have totally destroyed absolutely everything in my life. Lead me to losing everything I ever cares about, to a very very expensive and huge IV heroin habit that lead to me prostituting myself to avoid withdrawals. And it all started with fairly mild use like what you describe. And just like you I did it to help numb the pain I felt all the time.

All I'm saying is, be careful, be on guard for it getting out of control cause it can happen so easily and when you feel so messed up and broken it's easy to see it happening and not care enough to stop it.

Just know if you ever wanna talk, you're welcome to pm me.

 

[Ganja Gremlin]

I wish you luck in getting help. I have suffered from PTSD and various other emotional problems since I was raped nearly 20 years ago (I'm almost 29 now and was 8-13 at the time, I don't really remember, my whole childhood is kinda a blur in my memory).

Be careful with the benzos but especially with the opiates. Using them to numb your feels is very common among survivors of rape andor childhood abuse, I did it and over the past 7 years or so have totally destroyed absolutely everything in my life. Lead me to losing everything I ever cares about, to a very very expensive and huge IV heroin habit that lead to me prostituting myself to avoid withdrawals. And it all started with fairly mild use like what you describe. And just like you I did it to help numb the pain I felt all the time.

All I'm saying is, be careful, be on guard for it getting out of control cause it can happen so easily and when you feel so messed up and broken it's easy to see it happening and not care enough to stop it.

Just know if you ever wanna talk, you're welcome to pm me.

Opiates have always been kinda a problem with me ,the first time I took Vicodin I was 13 ( I have a really shitty childhood). I even smoked heroin once when I was 15, but honestly I didn't think it was much better than oxys or morphine . I'm sure it's much different shooting tho. I've suffered from withdrawals a few times but this summer my use got worse because I came into an extra couple thousand dollars and I blew most of it on oxys and Percocet :/ opiates definently numb my emotional pain way more than benzos, and when I take opiates I am definently abusing them because I don't have any chronic pain issues...
they are the only thing that can truly ever make me feel nothing ...
but with the benzos I almost feel justified , because doctors have already agreed they would help me in the past
And thank u once again

 

[callofduty]

I do think it sounds like you would benefit from an as-needed Rx, hopefully taken no more frequently than 1-2x/wk, and that some doctor should give it to you.

But I sometimes wish I could go tell 11-years-ago me to not get on daily Klonopin the minute I started having panic attacks, which I realize is not exactly what you're doing. Please be careful, and consider the consequences. You're 18. I started taking benzos daily (as prescribed) for anxiety sometime around 22 for reasons similar to yours. I'm almost 33 now, my biggest issue is a chronic pain problem that I didn't have at 22 and for which I take opioids. I'd never had trouble getting the Klonopin (or the Klonopin along with the oxy) until last year. All of a sudden, every doctor I see says, "You could die at any moment! Tolerance doesn't matter! People die for no reason on that combination! Look, six of them in France! I won't write that." I'm kind of in a bind now, and I don't want to choose between pain and anxiety; I like the way my meds combine, and I have good tolerances to both (if I could sign a sheet pledging not to let anyone sue on my behalf if I die in my sleep, I would).

So, I would do everything you can to not get dependent because doctors are getting stingier, the brain damage thing (about which I didn't know until two years ago) is a factor, and (mostly) benzo w/d is so shitty (supposedly--I've never been through it). But I wouldn't rule it out completely. Just watch out for dependence. Benzo w/d can kill you.