Mental Health Looking for inpatient treatment not focused on drugstore

[cj]

I don't even know if something like this exists but I figured it was worth a shot to see if anyone knows. Basically I'm suicidal constantly suffering from severe PTSD, depression, anxiety and I think something else that may not be diagnosed like a personality disorder. I want intensive mental health treatment in a safe supportive environment where I can continue receiving my methadone maintenance. I'm not addicted physically to anything but methadone and I can pass a drug test for illicit stuff. I have a history of suicide attempts which is why impatient is appealing. I'm in a slow building crises a couple recent suicide attempts no one knows about.

I have insurance which is why I feel it's possible this could happen. I don't want to just check into the local hospital with no plan from there because the hospitals around here aren't the best when it comes to stuff like this. I know the methadone is going to be a hurdle but I still feel like there has to be somewhere that can work with it. A lot of people are on methadone after all. Drug rehabs just don't have the right focus for what I need because I feel like if I could get over the mental stuff the drugs will follow naturally, I put together 2 months pretty easy but it's not going to matter if I off myself you know?

I am at the end of my rope tbh. If I can't find a private place I think I'm going to check into a hospital and see what happens maybe. I'm just scared to surrender control like that because people down here see track marks here methadone and think drugs are the main problem. That's just not true. I use to treat the symptoms I experience. I have been having severe flashbacks of sexual abuse. Its not getting better in fact things are steadily declining.

I want to give it one more go. If I do end up killing myself I want to know And I want my family to know i tried. I don't know if any of this makes sense or if this is the right place or if I should just be surrendering to professionals but I felt compelled to write it which is something I haven't much felt like doing recently.

So yeah that's me fully exposed.

 

[cj]

I've been googling for hours without success. It seems like it's either drug rehab or the hospital phych Ward no in-between. Disheartening as fuck.

I guess plan b is the phych Ward. Its just I've been there and know what that's about. Sure starting a ssri may be helpful but it takes 2 weeks minimum to do shit and they will not hold me that long in my experience. Then I just come home to the same shit except I have caused my family a bunch of stress. I wish I could make a decision just for me instead of having to deal with my parents emotions. I mean I'm happy they care but I feel like I constantly have to downplay the severity of my symptoms to keep the peace here.

My head just reverted back to well that's why death makes rational sense. Ugh. One thing is abundantly clear I can't keep on like this. Something is going to give.

 

[Mafioso]

There are in patient facilities that focus on mental health. The drug rehab I went to was part of an organization that had several different facilities, all specializing in different things. My neighbor actually went to the one that focuses on mental health, he has pretty severe PTSD and has been suicidal as well. I also used to date a girl that worked at an inpatient facility that specialized in mental health. She explained it as a sort of last stop before being deemed crazy and said although it wasn't a rehab, many of them were there for drug induced mental issues. Lots of meth psychosis and what not, but again their focus was mental health and not drug rehabilitation.

Feel free to PM me if you want more details, I'd rather not post about specific places for privacy reasons.

Really sorry to hear about your situation.. I used to think about suicide a lot, even from a very young age. I hated my childhood and was abused physically and emotionally. Then when I got older and developed a substance use disorder I believed that suicide was the only way out. Just entered my 4th month of sobriety, the longest I've been sober in 10 years and I might have occasional thoughts like "The world would be better off without me" or "I'll never feel happy/Ill always feel sad so I might as well save myself/everyone else the misery and end it", but at least now I'm able to catch myself and see how that type of thinking isn't rational, even though it seems so logical.

I can also relate to not wanting to deal with your parents emotions. I find myself afraid to speak in actual depth about things that I am going through because I feel that my mom overreacts and my dad will just break into a long lecture in attempts to fix me. In many ways it's easier to just hold it in when it comes to dealing with them.

Either way, I hope you can find someone who you feel comfortable talking to. Maybe try calling up some alcohol and drug counselors/rehabs and explain your situation to them. They may suggest you come to their facility but if they are good counselors they will likely be able to refer you to someone who specializes in your needs.

 

[Mafioso]

What ever you do, please don't give up. It may be hard to see it now, but things can get better...

If you start feeling desperate and out of control I would think that a hospital or even a drug rehab would be better than being alone. Therapist and counselors often network and are supposed to make referrals if they are faced with a situation that they can't handle or do not specialize in that area.

There are people who understand what you are going through and can help you work through this difficult time. Just please don't give up.

 

[Mmp85]

Private places may be your best bet but a lot don't take insurance.
I was very misled when I went to rehab for alcohol, they made it sound like they would treat my bipolar in addition to the actual addiction. Mostly they kept us heavily drugged on withdrawal meds whether we needed them or not, I didn't because my alcoholism wasn't a chemical addiction and put us in group therapy where people didn't necessarily share the same issues so it wasn't always helpful if what was being discussed didn't apply to you. It was heavily 12 step based which doesn't address mental health very well. I'm glad I went because being isolated and not dealing with "real life" was helpful but nothing was over done about my bipolar other than being given mood tracking work sheets.
Intensive Outpatient for mental health was way more helpful but you don't have the same safe feeling of getting away from the things stressing you.

 

[cj]

Private places may be your best bet but a lot don't take insurance.
I was very misled when I went to rehab for alcohol, they made it sound like they would treat my bipolar in addition to the actual addiction. Mostly they kept us heavily drugged on withdrawal meds whether we needed them or not, I didn't because my alcoholism wasn't a chemical addiction and put us in group therapy where people didn't necessarily share the same issues so it wasn't always helpful if what was being discussed didn't apply to you. It was heavily 12 step based which doesn't address mental health very well. I'm glad I went because being isolated and not dealing with "real life" was helpful but nothing was over done about my bipolar other than being given mood tracking work sheets.
Intensive Outpatient for mental health was way more helpful but you don't have the same safe feeling of getting away from the things stressing you.

I had the same experience with drug rehab. They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear in order to get you there. It's a slimey industry.

Anyway I haven't had any luck finding inpatient treatment that would be helpful. So I am going to just do outpatient stuff and hope for the best.

 

[rainyday107]

My bipolar disorder destabilized severely after my mom died. I stayed ten days in a hospital psych ward. They sent me (it was voluntary) to a residential mental health and addiction center. It looked like a big house, bedrooms were nice, food was good. Saw pdoc and therapist daily, nurses gave meds, you could go swimming, have caffeine, smoke cigarettes on the patio area. Lots of groups. They took my private health insurance and it was considered by my insurance company as "inpatient stays."

I didn't have a substance abuse problem, but there were many people there for addiction. And also dual diagnosis. Group A was mental health only, B was substance/addiction treatment, C was dual diagnosis. The people with addiction had already been detoxed upon arrival.

You do have to be medically stabilized at these these facilities because they are residential facilities. They aren't hospitals. I remember a patient who was there for depression and she severely declined....she was t eating or leaving her room, etc. She had to go back to the psych ward hospital as she was back in a crisis situation.

I stayed there for three months and it was very helpful.

 

[PerpetualAnhedonic]

Hey bud, I've yet to read all the comments within the thread, but will do so shortly.

My very first suggestion off the top of my head though, since you say you are insured, is to call your insurance company and inquire. They very well may have some references for you. I've done this before personally to find certain providers. Depending who your company is, this small effort may very well pay off. There HAS to be SOMETHING for you man, I know there's got to. I actually did some digging and asking around for you on this like a month or so ago, but not to much avail due to the obvious difficulty posed by paradigm of different states...

-PA

 

[chompy]

I know a good rehab. It is intensive but you will be living in a nice place. Let me know in PM if you are interested. They helped me out a lot, saved my life at the time even. It will be expensive but its not that 'Malibu' place.

Because it costs a lot its going to be full of people that were raised properly but just ended up addicted with drugs so its a great place. No indigenous peoples, nobody fresh out of jail. Just people wanting to get better.

 

[chompy]

cj whatever you do, don't give up and don't lose hope. get angry even. just keep going. im a victim of abuse as well but i wont get into detail