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September Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v It's Fall Again / The Sky is Falling

simco said:
^^
That's a drag, D's. Do you feel upset that your co-worker relapsed? Not in the sense of whether it was wrong for him to keep the secret...more like: did it freak you out personally? I've noticed that when various people I know in recovery have relapsed over the last year, it freaked my shit out. I didn't always know it at the time. But eventually I'd always realize that I didn't like seeing how easy it is to have things spin right back out of hand.
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Well, i did feel upset. Then it struck me,, thats what we do. We get high and drunk, glad that i know that today because instead of losing respect for the guy i fully understand.
I dont want to harm someone thats already harmed, so nows the time for me to reach out to him, and ask if he is doing alright. Its really up to him if he wants to get honest about him relapsing, i dont hold it against him. Compassion of others is what this program has taught me, yeah i feel let down that he got high, cant blam him for it because that was me one time, it just bothers me how he can hold it in.
 
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Relapses are part of the process. The best thing is to immediately try to get back to the sober routine sonthat it doesn't drag you down. I remember relapsing and how the my entire world feel apart, I remember being so angry at myself, so disappointed. Everyone has a different reaction but just like you are trying not to judge your friend(s) try not to judge yourself. We tend to be so harsh on ourselves at times. It almost hurts physically speaking.:\
 
D's, it sounds like you're a lot more in touch with your higher power. Be thankful for that. A lot of people are really flawed, and have a lot of issues. Other people are really fucked up. Just be thankful you're not in his shoes.
 
Hello, I figured that since I am ready to give up the dilaudid and heroin, and kratom, and even weed (omg!!) but I am not quite ready to give up bluelight, I should make a lot of friends in recovery. Please keep war stories to a minimum. I've followed Captain.Heroin's posts for a whille, and I gotta ask you, have you given up the needle entirely? I've been grappling with that alot, especially since I can order a certain SSRE legally that hits opiate receptors and feels just as good as a shot of dilaudid when injected. I've been going to as many AA meetings as I can fit in a day and I have removed cash and my car from my life and entrusted them to my girlfriend for the time being.

cj, sup fellow dope fiend?

does NSA still post?

D's, what's up you sober lineman

PS, I am sober 7 days now. First real sleep happened last night
 
Hey disel! Long time no see man, sounds like you have been busy with stuff, yea nows a really good time to quit doing dope,and that includes booze! Ye know, i thought that coming here to bluelight would make me want to relpase and shit, sept thats not the case, bluelight has helpd me in so many ways, like what you are doing now, just sharing about shit really helps,because you gotta let that shit go! No more holding onto shit by urself, thats what your friends are for, thats what bluelight is for.
I highly suggest that you make the most out of the thread you are in now here and sober living, and make your way over to the dark side and share in the positive thread, thankful thread and share how you feel in 1 word thread, i make my rounds there daily,and feels really good to talk about whats going on in my life there.

Good, glad to hear you going to meetings, its where I got my start, and now it has become my full time job. I have been going to a meeting a day for the last year and sometimes i go to more then 1 a day,just depends on how i feel.

Ive been busy man, got a new promotion at the treatment center i work at, and a new sponsee that keeps me busy because the only way i will be able to keep the shit is to give it back. I am really happy to see you post again, please stay in touch! And dont go no where! Congrats on your 7 days! Remember not to worry about the tommorows,just for today!

And don't worry about the war stories, this is the last place on here where you will hear that stuff :).

Sending much from lousiville<3
 
LSDiesel said:
Hello, I figured that since I am ready to give up the dilaudid and heroin, and kratom, and even weed (omg!!) but I am not quite ready to give up bluelight, I should make a lot of friends in recovery. Please keep war stories to a minimum. I've followed Captain.Heroin's posts for a whille, and I gotta ask you, have you given up the needle entirely? I've been grappling with that alot, especially since I can order a certain SSRE legally that hits opiate receptors and feels just as good as a shot of dilaudid when injected. I've been going to as many AA meetings as I can fit in a day and I have removed cash and my car from my life and entrusted them to my girlfriend for the time being.

cj, sup fellow dope fiend?

does NSA still post?

D's, what's up you sober lineman

PS, I am sober 7 days now. First real sleep happened last night
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I haven't used a needle in 2 years, 11 months.
 
Hi SLers!

I just wanted to let you all know I am getting busy with grad school and won't have as much time for responding to threads. You all are in great hands with cj and simco, as well as senior staff assigned to RS. Basically I will only be keeping up with administrative duties for a little while. If you notice I'm not around or seem distant, it's just grad school doing its thing.

If anyone needs any urgent feedback or advice please send me a pm by following this link: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/private.php?do=newpm&u=174794

I'll be back sooner than later to vomit love and junky wisdom upon you all ;) <3
 
Thank you for everything that you do for the SL community.
 
wishing you the best with school, TPD. and aihfl with your new start.

three weeks today. benzo withdrawal for the last two weeks has been not great. i have shin splints from running. in part from waiting too long to get a fresh pair of running shoes. i think also because my muscles have been so tight. again relegated to the elliptical. but today i woke up without a headache and feeling relatively fresh. went without coffee yesterday and i’m gonna stick with that.
 
toothpastedog said:
Hi SLers!

I just wanted to let you all know I am getting busy with grad school and won't have as much time for responding to threads. You all are in great hands with cj and simco, as well as senior staff assigned to RS. Basically I will only be keeping up with administrative duties for a little while. If you notice I'm not around or seem distant, it's just grad school doing its thing.

If anyone needs any urgent feedback or advice please send me a pm by following this link: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/private.php?do=newpm&u=174794

I'll be back sooner than later to vomit love and junky wisdom upon you all ;)
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Ayy tpd really excited that you are 'doing the deal', just out of curiosity what are you going to grad school for?
I have been thinking about getting my CDAC certifications, i am busy working on the hours i need, i really want to be able to get as much as i can about this.

I am attending these 'peer support specialist ' classes,and by the end of October i will be certified!

Today is peer mentor community at my job, and i have a concern for someone, so pretty much we sit in a circle and vote on 'learning experiences' for the guy.
 
I'm quitting DXM, after about 7-8 years of chronic use. I've quit for periods of a few months before, but eventually went back to frequent use. I currently am in the 600-900mg range. My stomach and body just can't take it anymore, and my life is kind of shitty right now and one of the main factors I find is the DXM abuse, obviously. I am going to try to use SAM-e to help me through it. I hate the night sweats and brain zaps, but I will put up with it. I have an rx for Klonopin 1.5mg to help, too. But DXM is the worst because it's so cheap, legal and available at almost every major chain store that has a pharmacy around here. Also have gabapentin but it makes me gain weight really fast, it's gotta be so bad for my organs. I believe it's an endocrine disruptor.
 
hello there :)
I'm in a really good mood the last days, have been meditating again and I finished my first step from NA and still 3 weeks left till grad school starts. still have to write my undergrad thesis, but I'm pretty confident about that. just chilling to let my body heal and trying to stay in the moment.
I can't believe I haven't had an opioid in the last 7,5 months, one month less clean. so amazing to be free. soo glad I didn't got into the full relapse-detox cycle.
 
D's said:
Ayy tpd really excited that you are 'doing the deal', just out of curiosity what are you going to grad school for?
I have been thinking about getting my CDAC certifications, i am busy working on the hours i need, i really want to be able to get as much as i can about this.

I am attending these 'peer support specialist ' classes,and by the end of October i will be certified!

Today is peer mentor community at my job, and i have a concern for someone, so pretty much we sit in a circle and vote on 'learning experiences' for the guy.
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I am currently in a master of divinity in Buddhist chaplaincy program training to work as a hospital, hospice and mental healthcare chaplain :) I'll also hopefully begin a teacher training type certification program at UCLA next year in conjunction with the MDiv. I have to say I am so incredibly happy with my choices in this. The program is difficult at times, as it is grad school after all, but I have so much experience with this developmental and spiritual care and counseling stuff it's truly a joy in every possible way. Basically this all will allow me to do the work with mindfulness I love and actually make a decent living.

embryo923 said:
I'm quitting DXM, after about 7-8 years of chronic use. I've quit for periods of a few months before, but eventually went back to frequent use. I currently am in the 600-900mg range. My stomach and body just can't take it anymore, and my life is kind of shitty right now and one of the main factors I find is the DXM abuse, obviously. I am going to try to use SAM-e to help me through it. I hate the night sweats and brain zaps, but I will put up with it. I have an rx for Klonopin 1.5mg to help, too. But DXM is the worst because it's so cheap, legal and available at almost every major chain store that has a pharmacy around here. Also have gabapentin but it makes me gain weight really fast, it's gotta be so bad for my organs. I believe it's an endocrine disruptor.
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Can you replace the DXM with cannabis? I found that helpful when I needed to stop using DXM. At least there withdrawal is almost entirely psychological with DXM, not that it makes it necessarily any easier. DXM is a hell of a drug, for better and worse. You'll notice your health improving very significantly after two weeks of abstience or so. Especially your cognition (some of the more physical side effects like GI issues take a little longer to resolve).
 
^ Doesn't it alter your metabolism? As it happens with Amphetamines?
 
Thanks! It's still a bit difficult sometimes. More good moments rather than earlier and I'm still very anxious when I have to travel. One day at a time! :)
 
Erikmen said:
^ Doesn't it alter your metabolism? As it happens with Amphetamines?
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Are you asking about DXM? It definitely affects how many drugs are metabolized by the liver/body and seems to also speed up metabolism more generally. I lost a bit of weight when I was regularly using the stuff, though I was also detoxing from methadone so it might have been compounded by that too.
 
Indeed, DXM.
I mentioned metabolism thinking more on a long term effect after you stop using, for instance. Do you feel your body react by slowing your metabolism then as it often does with Amphetamines.
 
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