Ok so ill start from the beginning my life completely changed on the 5th of september 2016.
Before this I was a happy go lucky 23 year old going through the motions of life not really caring what was going to happen next, I would say I didnt really have any goals I had just finished my degree in property not something that I had a great interest in but did it anyways and graduated after 5 years not sure where I was going next I continued to work in my job as a shop assistant in a local store. I enjoyed it for the most part the people were good craic I always liked to have a good laugh i would have described myself as a cheeky, confident 23 year old who enjoyed getting on with people loved hanging around with my friends even if we were doing nothing. I enjoyed going out drinking most weekends, never really had a relationship (a relationship at 15 does not count in my opinion) but did get off with a good few women when I was out, I dont really know if i ever loved anyone I'd say i did like a good few girls but maybe was a bit afraid of commitment any sign that they had a lot of interest I would be inclined to just give up or say to myself I dont like them when deep down maybe I didnt like the idea of commitment (just a thought). I never had any history of anxiety no panic attacks I wouldnt say I was even a nervous person not much used to bother me I was just sailing through life.
I had gotten into a little bit of trouble with the law for drunk and disorderly nothing major ever came of it and to be honest I viewed it as stupid drunken events, (one was a fight) (the other a disturbance in a chipper and got arrested for not leaving the scene).
I didnt really know where I was going with my life and what my real purpose was I guess you could say I wasnt really embracing life, how I wish I had done things differently now hindsight is a wonderful thing but we only get one shot at it unfortunately.
So on september 2nd I was going on my last trip or last weekend without being crippled with pain (physical and emotional).
Myself and a group of friends were heading to electric picnic a festival that I was lucking forward to going on a mad party session something id never really done to this extreme I had taken cocaine before and a few party drugs nothing major tho with no life altering circumstances.
This weekend was a hell of a lot different the weekend was set for friday, saturday and sunday.
Friday was ideal drank beer and took a small bit of cocaine and enjoyed the music everything was perfect,
Saturday drank beer took a bit of cocaine and also mdma (ecstasy) felt great really enjoyed the whole weekend until sunday morning.
I woke up ok as far as i remember felt a bit dizzy put it down to a hangover but really i was very light headed could barely walk a 5 metre distance from where we were sitting to our tent something wasnt right but that day and night i continued to take mdma and drank quiet a lot and still never felt the real effects of either the drink or the drugs.
Came home felt horrendous as you would after a heavy weekend so just said i sleep it off, wish that was the case.
Wednesday I was to work went in still feeling horrific very weak agitated and just generally not myself whatsoever.
That night it all really started
I was trying to get some sleep that night and started experiencing brain shocks (zaps) i literally could not sleep no matter how hard i tried every time i would just be able to sleep bang shock and i would be woke up. This went on for a few days. I then went to a GP and was given a sleeping tablet it work but the shocks continued right through until I fell asleep, at this stage I was so afraid I was sleeping on my mothers bedroom room in fear i was going to die the shocks were happening all over my body. I was extremely weak could barely stand up or walk for any length of time. Listening to any loud noises would hurt irritate me and my concentration was gone 0 couldnt focus on anything. I had an extremely fast heart rate all the time even when at home it was racing like mad, numerous ecg tests done and told the doctors my story I was told I had damaged receptors in my brain and it should recover in about 2 weeks (how
wrong were they and inaccurate with their timeline). I went back to work all the while with the fast heart rate headaches etc..
(Gonna give a briefer example from here)
Experience after electric picnic. Symptoms i can remember
Constantly felt tired and unwell.
Also remember being very weak on my feet couldn't stand for any length of time
extreme sensitivity to light and especially sound even conversing with someone would rattle my head.
I was unable to sit in a car for any length of time due to vibrations felt like i was going to die cant remember
exactly the feeling put head and body was all over the place.
Another evening i tried to go cinema and same thing the vibrations through the floor and sound caused me
to have a massive attack and had to leave and walk a 10 minute walk home constantly thinking i was gonna
collapse the whole way.
heart rate was high something like 160 so gp sent me to a&e had an ECG and told the doctors what had
happened they said to relax and it should settle within a week or two so took that time off work to relax.
i had extreme headaches head exploded on several occasions was not able to listen to headphones at all
or even watch a programme on my laptop, concentration was extremely poor.
i had pressure on my nose, jaw and
flu like symptoms because i remember thinking it could have been a sinus infection.
numbness on face and forehead.
I remember sleeping in the car on the way to a grad and woke up and my whole face was numb.
i had a few beers that night and head would burst a few times whilst drinking but eventually went away after having a few.
i was given ibuprofen at one stage with little or no effect
then had a CT Scan nothing out the ordinary showed up and was prescribed inderal and was told this was all to do with the MDMA and would eventually settle.
Kept on them for a while cant remember had they much of an effect maybe slightly
The final straw for me was what i can only describe as my whole entire body crunching up and my head
splitting in two with tremendous force. most extreme experience ever.
I also recall having extreme pain/tingling in hands and bullet pains in legs especially when trying to sleep.
I re
Currently taking benzos since november but coming off them now finding it very tough
My main question is what I was going through withdrawal in the acute stage and could it have recovered or am i fucked?
Should I have given it more time?
The timeline to me sounds like I was in acute withdrawal and my brain was recovering or could it be damaged beyond repair now?
Any theories, ideas experience would be greatly appreciated.
Before this I was a happy go lucky 23 year old going through the motions of life not really caring what was going to happen next, I would say I didnt really have any goals I had just finished my degree in property not something that I had a great interest in but did it anyways and graduated after 5 years not sure where I was going next I continued to work in my job as a shop assistant in a local store. I enjoyed it for the most part the people were good craic I always liked to have a good laugh i would have described myself as a cheeky, confident 23 year old who enjoyed getting on with people loved hanging around with my friends even if we were doing nothing. I enjoyed going out drinking most weekends, never really had a relationship (a relationship at 15 does not count in my opinion) but did get off with a good few women when I was out, I dont really know if i ever loved anyone I'd say i did like a good few girls but maybe was a bit afraid of commitment any sign that they had a lot of interest I would be inclined to just give up or say to myself I dont like them when deep down maybe I didnt like the idea of commitment (just a thought). I never had any history of anxiety no panic attacks I wouldnt say I was even a nervous person not much used to bother me I was just sailing through life.
I had gotten into a little bit of trouble with the law for drunk and disorderly nothing major ever came of it and to be honest I viewed it as stupid drunken events, (one was a fight) (the other a disturbance in a chipper and got arrested for not leaving the scene).
I didnt really know where I was going with my life and what my real purpose was I guess you could say I wasnt really embracing life, how I wish I had done things differently now hindsight is a wonderful thing but we only get one shot at it unfortunately.
So on september 2nd I was going on my last trip or last weekend without being crippled with pain (physical and emotional).
Myself and a group of friends were heading to electric picnic a festival that I was lucking forward to going on a mad party session something id never really done to this extreme I had taken cocaine before and a few party drugs nothing major tho with no life altering circumstances.
This weekend was a hell of a lot different the weekend was set for friday, saturday and sunday.
Friday was ideal drank beer and took a small bit of cocaine and enjoyed the music everything was perfect,
Saturday drank beer took a bit of cocaine and also mdma (ecstasy) felt great really enjoyed the whole weekend until sunday morning.
I woke up ok as far as i remember felt a bit dizzy put it down to a hangover but really i was very light headed could barely walk a 5 metre distance from where we were sitting to our tent something wasnt right but that day and night i continued to take mdma and drank quiet a lot and still never felt the real effects of either the drink or the drugs.
Came home felt horrendous as you would after a heavy weekend so just said i sleep it off, wish that was the case.
Wednesday I was to work went in still feeling horrific very weak agitated and just generally not myself whatsoever.
That night it all really started
I was trying to get some sleep that night and started experiencing brain shocks (zaps) i literally could not sleep no matter how hard i tried every time i would just be able to sleep bang shock and i would be woke up. This went on for a few days. I then went to a GP and was given a sleeping tablet it work but the shocks continued right through until I fell asleep, at this stage I was so afraid I was sleeping on my mothers bedroom room in fear i was going to die the shocks were happening all over my body. I was extremely weak could barely stand up or walk for any length of time. Listening to any loud noises would hurt irritate me and my concentration was gone 0 couldnt focus on anything. I had an extremely fast heart rate all the time even when at home it was racing like mad, numerous ecg tests done and told the doctors my story I was told I had damaged receptors in my brain and it should recover in about 2 weeks (how
wrong were they and inaccurate with their timeline). I went back to work all the while with the fast heart rate headaches etc..
(Gonna give a briefer example from here)
Experience after electric picnic. Symptoms i can remember
Constantly felt tired and unwell.
Also remember being very weak on my feet couldn't stand for any length of time
extreme sensitivity to light and especially sound even conversing with someone would rattle my head.
I was unable to sit in a car for any length of time due to vibrations felt like i was going to die cant remember
exactly the feeling put head and body was all over the place.
Another evening i tried to go cinema and same thing the vibrations through the floor and sound caused me
to have a massive attack and had to leave and walk a 10 minute walk home constantly thinking i was gonna
collapse the whole way.
heart rate was high something like 160 so gp sent me to a&e had an ECG and told the doctors what had
happened they said to relax and it should settle within a week or two so took that time off work to relax.
i had extreme headaches head exploded on several occasions was not able to listen to headphones at all
or even watch a programme on my laptop, concentration was extremely poor.
i had pressure on my nose, jaw and
flu like symptoms because i remember thinking it could have been a sinus infection.
numbness on face and forehead.
I remember sleeping in the car on the way to a grad and woke up and my whole face was numb.
i had a few beers that night and head would burst a few times whilst drinking but eventually went away after having a few.
i was given ibuprofen at one stage with little or no effect
then had a CT Scan nothing out the ordinary showed up and was prescribed inderal and was told this was all to do with the MDMA and would eventually settle.
Kept on them for a while cant remember had they much of an effect maybe slightly
The final straw for me was what i can only describe as my whole entire body crunching up and my head
splitting in two with tremendous force. most extreme experience ever.
I also recall having extreme pain/tingling in hands and bullet pains in legs especially when trying to sleep.
I re
Currently taking benzos since november but coming off them now finding it very tough
My main question is what I was going through withdrawal in the acute stage and could it have recovered or am i fucked?
Should I have given it more time?
The timeline to me sounds like I was in acute withdrawal and my brain was recovering or could it be damaged beyond repair now?
Any theories, ideas experience would be greatly appreciated.
