I have trouble "finishing" after sex due to drugs, but my GF thinks its her

[nancy145]

First off, so there's no confusion, I'm a guy named Joe. I couldn't think of a make when making my account and my grandma, nancy, called me, so I just made it nancy145.
Anyway, I had an incident with Trazodone a little over a year ago where I took a high dose for sleep, and ended up having a 13 hour erection that only stopped because I took some citalopram (SSRI) from an old leftover prescription. Ever since then, I've had a significant loss of sensitivity and it takes me a really long time to orgasm, if I even do. I also take 50 mg of adderall (with tums as a potentiater), 350 mg of nuvigil, 350-500 mg of caffeine, and 50 mg of Seroquel a day, which makes the problem worse. I legitimately need all of them medicinally, and also have a dependency on all of them, so I can't skip it. My girlfriend knows about my condition, but feels like it's partially her fault that I can't cum Half the time before she needs to stop (which it isn't, it's 100% because of the drugs). Whenever this happens she gets upset. I try to tell her it's not because of her and say she's hot and all that, which calms her down after 10-15 minutes, but she still gets upset about it. I really don't know what else to do here, does anyone have some advice for me?

 

[pofacedhoe]

thats a fuckload of stims for everyday use

 

[tathra]

pretty much everyone who has ever done dope has had this problem, and sometimes even sober this can occur just because (i pretty much always have this problem when using a condom, unless i put lube inside the condom, but that will often result in finishing too fast). can you get yourself to finish manually without much difficulty? if she understands that its the drugs doing it, but still wants you to finish, then if you can, you can get yourself close manually and then have her involved for the finish. i've never had any problems or complaints or anything when i've had to do it this way, but its not an all the time thing either.

 

[twang]

Lots of women are irrational about shit. Always looking for a reason to feel bad about themselves. I dealt with one like that for so long I went asexual for a long time. If she's gonna get upset about shit she knows she's making up in her head, you're better off without her

 

[Vastness]

I don't have any input on your actual problem really, but you should know that if you have an erection lasting longer than 4-6 hours you're already risking permanent damage and it's time to go to the hospital... next time don't wait, you don't want to end up having to get your penis amputated.

Also,

I legitimately need all of them medicinally, and also have a dependency on all of them, so I can't skip it.

I am kinda doubtful of your use of the word "legitimately" here. Do you mean that you have been prescribed everything you are taking? Because as far as I am aware caffeine is not a prescription drug, and also I find it hard to believe that any doctor is going to prescribe adderal AND modafinil, unless you have some serious treatment-resistant narcolepsy.

 

[nancy145]

I have abused my stimulants before, but its been about a year since I have. I take them as prescribed now. He knows about my caffeine use, and factors it into the dosage, because he would rather me take caffeine with it than a higher dose of adderall or armodafinil. I have major energy and motivation problems, they don't know the diagnosis, but without any stimulants I literally can not leave my bed more than 2 or 3 times a day to bring food up to my room or use the bathroom. I also sleep 14-16 hours a day during spring and summer and 16-18 hours a day during fall and winter (i have seasonal affective disorder), but I don't have narcolepsy because I don't show enough symptoms, so they don't know the cause of that either. This isn't just withdrawal, it happened before I got on stims and the entire 6 months I was off it (got off it 6 months after being on it a year, then got back on it after). Even while off of it, I believed just as strongly that I need it medicinally as I did while on it. My psychiatrist agrees with all this too, and I'm completely honest with him so it's not like I just BSed my way into a script. I know a lot of people say they need a drug medicinally when they don't, but it's different when your psychiatrist agrees and you think the same way while off of it. About the Trazodone though, that was just me being dumb. Took a high dose while not even prescribed any to fall asleep faster, couldn't really do anything about the erection in my sleep, and took an SSRI once I woke up which took an hour to kick in but going to the hospital and getting treated wouldn't be much quicker. I did learn my lesson though, never touching Trazodone again, or really using any drug without being fully aware of all dangers, proper dosage, and what to do if a problem occurs (if possible) anymore. Either way, damage is still done.

 

[alpha_centauri]

If this is an issue for you, tell your girlfriend this that it's a side effect of the prescribed and illegal drugs you take.

 

[hockeyros07]

when i'm on tramadol - heavy doses - i can go for hours.

 

[Mental64]

I was on effexor....I could only nut once every six trys or so...was good for her...sucked for me....hard on lasted hours.

 

[chompy]

i cant do it on drugs

 

[SamanthaB]

Hi Joe,

Whether or not you think it is from drugs or not, I think you should go see a good urologist and tell him about your situation, especially the time you had an erection for hours. He may not have anything that he can do to help you, but I think you need to get his/her opinion.

As far as your girlfriend is concerned. I think there are a number of people who get upset when their partner does not make the finish line the way they think their partner should. Everyone is different and you have had, and do have, drugs in the mix, which as you know, can effect things in that regard. After getting checked out by the urologist, I would try some suggestions you get here and see if they make a difference. If you have to thrust for awhile, then masturbate and then cum inside her after, so be it. Besides, who wants to necessarily do things the same way every time. I don't think I need to spell out things you could do to change things up. You two can think of things you can do that might solve this issue. If she is only willing to have things done one way and turn out one way, then you are not with the right person in the bedroom for you personally. And, if it turns out things can only stay as they are and she cannot deal with that, you need to move on to someone who can accept that.