Fast methadone taper help

[cj]

There is no reason for you to visit the clinic if you feel uncomfortable doing so.

If there truly are forms you "must" fill out (which doesn't actually make sense to me if you want out of the treatment, they can't really compel you to fill out forms if you don't want to - all they could do it kick you out of the program, but you already sounds like you want out, so...)...

You can tell them they need to fax or mail you the forms to fill out, because you are unable to get to the clinic (it certainly sounds like a burden considering you sound like you're done with the clinic anyways). It sounds more like they are just trying to manipulate you a little bit into staying on your meds, which given your situation with the taper and detox isn't entire inappropriate, just really disingenuous and less than compassionate as you pointed out.

Even if you owed them money or something, you could always mail it in. The only reason to accommodate their requests with this though would be to avoid burning any bridges if you ever need their services again in the future.

If you know anything more, I'd be curious hearing more about why you have to supposedly fill them out. It's just a little fishy...

Yeah they are trying to manipulate him for sure. Drug treatment providers are so fucking shady it's crazy. I wouldn't worry about the forms if you need to go back they will take you back no bs forms needed.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

I def don't owe them any money. I had to pay for my take homes twice a month or I wouldn't get them. I've always been a "good patient" been clean except the first month and that's because I was in pm and my dr ran out overnight leaving hundreds of us with nowhere to go. I've had maybe 10 different counselors since I first started and while this one wasn't the worst she sure wasn't the best. She mostly just bad mouthed her patients, co workers and the director of the clinic during our sessions. Of course me being the scared to say what I thought about it I was to scared of the fallback if I did. I'd heard the horror stories of people losing take homes for standing up to counselors before. I'll admit I thought "yeah right your full of it, you prob did something" I just couldn't believe all the bad stuff people were saying when I first started. And then I got confirmation that a lot of it was true. This clinic was fined the highest fine ever (over 100,000.00) by the DEA for their shady practices. I'm talking thousands of bottles of missing methadone and much more. I have lots of stories but this post would be a mile long. I'm not a disgruntled patient. I could have continued picking up 13 bottles every 2 weeks. But I just got sick and tired of dealing with this hateful woman talking down on people who are just trying to make it day to day without needing counselor who thinks she's above all of us. The way she treated us was beyond awful. And this coming from a woman who had me outside with her looking for a pain pill she dropped getting out of her car. I couldn't make this mess up. At 4:50am we are out there looking for her dropped pill. Seriously there's so much more that I'll save for another time. My point is this is a shady person who showed me a memo from corporate that requires so much percent of patients to stay on daily doses. The counselor actually get reprimanded if they have too many patients phasing up and doing well. She gave it too me to read while she went and made coffee thinking it was something else about wanting me to help with the heroin walk the city was doing. When I handed it back she just told me what it was about. So to get to the point, I don't believe for a second that I have to fill out anything. I asked her to fax it to me or use snail mail and she said that would be in violation of their practices. Really? Like gossiping about your own patients to another patient isn't? Or taking me around the back of building to help look for your missing pills beside your car isn't either? She's lost her mind. What's gonna happen if I don't come up there they gonna ban me? I'll never step foot there again. If I did get back on it I'd drive somewhere else. that place is all about the $ and that's all they care about. I'd find a sub dr before I go back.
I'm ranting again huh? Please don't hold it against me I'm just so angry! Calling me 6 times then calling my mothers house and leaving a detailed message. That should be against hippa policy. They made me give an emergency contact "in case you pass out or require a tripe to local ER" they need a name and number of someone. So for emergency only I gave my moms #. This was not an emergency at all. She even left the same message on her vm as mine. That's why I called back which I now regret. I've been angry every since. Sorry to just go on and on about this. I'm normally not so angry it has to have somehing to do with this detox

 

[cj]

I would be beyond pissed about that message. That's fucked up. It's a shame there bad behavior drove you to make such a dangerous decision to get off but I feel where your coming from. My clinic is a fucked up place too.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

From what I've heard most clinics down here are like that. I had to go to Jacksonville NC before I got 2 weeks take homes and guest dosed there for almost 3 months. It was totally different. The counselor I had was amazing. And the dr too. It seemed like a legitimate treatment center. It wasn't a cash only type of place. Of course it was very small with only one dosing window but I didn't dread going when I went like the clinic here. And here isn't even in the state I live. I had to drive to Alabama. It was a hassle but I did it.
I wonder what clinics are like up north in bigger cities? I heard a guy in line from NYC saying "he hated that he had to move down here because of how sh***y the clinic is & treatment where he's from was only 40 a week" that's 73 less than here! My clinic went up 6 times in the time I was there. Every few months they'd go up. Just shady stuff.
I hope I didn't break any rule by posting treatment prices. I went back and re-read the rules and I didn't see anything about cost of treatment. It's 3am here and I can't sleep as usual. I'm trying to make it another hour so I can take my comfort meds. 4am was my usual dosing time since that's when I had to get up and get ready for work. Plus I didn't take any oxy last night so the last I had was 1pm yesterday. Today is day 4 of no methadone. Yay! That was me patting myself on the back. I actual feel somewhat hungry right now but I'm too weak to get out of bed and go get something. I've been living on small bites of saltine crackers for over a week now. Except for the pasta I had yesterday ugh big mistake. Never again will I eat pasta.
Cj, TPD do you know what that weird feeling in my head is from? Is that just wd's? I've looked but I didn't really find anyone describing it. Closest I found was brain fog. But I'm not sure this is brain fog. Like a migraine but feels like it's in my brain and it's more than a headache it's a strange feeling.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Just realized how long my posts are. Sorry I'll shorten them up from now on. Didn't realize I was rambling on like that..?

 

[Kittycat5]

You still taking Zofran? You mentioned it caused you headaches in the past. Could it be the source of your "brainache"?

 

[badbarbiedolly]

No I stopped the zofran days ago because I thought that's what it was. It's been like this since before I quit the methadone. I'd say around the 15mg mark is when it started and now it's much worse. I wish I could explain the feeling better. It's like a bad headache but more. That's not a goo description but it's the best I got. It's a funny feeling in my head but with pain. I feel gross all over so I'm sure it has something to do with the rapid taper and then jumping off at 3mg. It eases up some when I take the oxy.

 

[cj]

From what I've heard most clinics down here are like that. I had to go to Jacksonville NC before I got 2 weeks take homes and guest dosed there for almost 3 months. It was totally different. The counselor I had was amazing. And the dr too. It seemed like a legitimate treatment center. It wasn't a cash only type of place. Of course it was very small with only one dosing window but I didn't dread going when I went like the clinic here. And here isn't even in the state I live. I had to drive to Alabama. It was a hassle but I did it.
I wonder what clinics are like up north in bigger cities? I heard a guy in line from NYC saying "he hated that he had to move down here because of how sh***y the clinic is & treatment where he's from was only 40 a week" that's 73 less than here! My clinic went up 6 times in the time I was there. Every few months they'd go up. Just shady stuff.
I hope I didn't break any rule by posting treatment prices. I went back and re-read the rules and I didn't see anything about cost of treatment. It's 3am here and I can't sleep as usual. I'm trying to make it another hour so I can take my comfort meds. 4am was my usual dosing time since that's when I had to get up and get ready for work. Plus I didn't take any oxy last night so the last I had was 1pm yesterday. Today is day 4 of no methadone. Yay! That was me patting myself on the back. I actual feel somewhat hungry right now but I'm too weak to get out of bed and go get something. I've been living on small bites of saltine crackers for over a week now. Except for the pasta I had yesterday ugh big mistake. Never again will I eat pasta.
Cj, TPD do you know what that weird feeling in my head is from? Is that just wd's? I've looked but I didn't really find anyone describing it. Closest I found was brain fog. But I'm not sure this is brain fog. Like a migraine but feels like it's in my brain and it's more than a headache it's a strange feeling.

I live in Alabama too small world... Yeah the clinics down here are fucking awful. They try to squeeze every cent and treat patients like inmates. My counselor sucks too but methadone has been a lifesaver so I deal with it. I'm pretty sure we went to a clinic owned by the same company because there are only 2 providers in the whole state and the price hikes are the same I experienced. They are gouging due to the increased demand. Hell they don't even offer a feetox if you can't pay every single dollar you ain't getting dosed. It's fucked up but that's Alabama for you. Can't wait to get out of this damn state..

Far as the headache I don't really know but it could be blood pressure related. Or dehydration? What's your fluid intake like? How much are you leaking out in sweat and puke and runny shit? I'm worried your going to get dehydrated because that's what kills young healthy people in withdrawal. So if you haven't been keeping it up go to an urgent care place or the ER and get an IV. The best time to hit the ER is early in the morning.

If I was you I would take a dose of methadone from your stash and get off sick for a day. It won't prolong the withdrawal or make it worse and it will give you a day to get rehydrated sleep and eat something. This is a marathon not a Sprint. If you don't want to take methadone then use a big dose of oxy or fent to actually fully get off sick. It will do wonders for your mental health.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

I'm staying hydrated. I think. I'm sipping Gatorade every 15 minutes or so. I checked my blood pressure it was good. I actually thought it was high because my heart is racing since this started. But it wasn't. I just have this overall gross feeling like I'm weighted down. I'm trying not to take too much oxy because I don't see my dr til the end of the month. He's who prescribed them. And I tried to get an earlier appt but the receptionist said no way he's gone for a week and after that he's double booked. So I have to make these last however long I'll need them. I'm kinda worried about wd's from the 50mcg patch. I'll have had one on for 6 days. Wouldn't that cause some wd's also?
As for sweating I'm doing lots of that. And then I'll be freezing. I can't count how many times I've changed my sheets and clothes. I don't feel dehydrated. I did the pinch test and it looked good. It may be brain fog that I've read about on here. No one really describes it but I see it mentioned a lot.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

I live in Alabama too small world... Yeah the clinics down here are fucking awful. They try to squeeze every cent and treat patients like inmates. My counselor sucks too but methadone has been a lifesaver so I deal with it. I'm pretty sure we went to a clinic owned by the same company because there are only 2 providers in the whole state and the price hikes are the same I experienced. They are gouging due to the increased demand. Hell they don't even offer a feetox if you can't pay every single dollar you ain't getting dosed. It's fucked up but that's Alabama for you. Can't wait to get out of this damn state..
.

Small world indeed! I actually live in TN but I drove to AL to the clinic. Oh I didn't even know they wouldn't dose if you couldn't pay. I just assumed they did an admin detox of 10mg a day. I'd seen people outside asking for spare change or a dollar trying to get enough for their dose. I guess that's why. Wow that's just cruel. How can that be legal?
I grew up in AL and I hated it. Now I'm in a town of less than 400 people and it's even worse. But I moved here to help my Mom with some stuff so it's ok I guess. I'm just ready to get over this and move forward. Hopefully with a little more knowledge than before.

 

[Kittycat5]

It takes about a day for 50% of the fent to be cleared when you remove the patch so you still may not feel wd from the fent for 1 to 3 days after removal.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

So there will def be withdrawls from 6 days on the patch? If so I'd rather just take it off. I'm so new to all this I really thought I could wear the 2 I had and not have wd's from it.

 

[Kittycat5]

I cant say definitely but you are substituting opioids here and I cannot say whats still in your system especially since one drug is methadone, a notorious bugger of a drug to know anything definite. Put it this way, if it was only fentanyl, you have 24 to 72 hours maybe till wd.

 

[Kittycat5]

Youre doing awesome btw. Youre in good hands with CJ and TPD here. Im just chipping in my 2 cents.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Thank you that means a lot! Yes, CJ & TPD have been so helpful. I honestly couldn't have done this without their help. The support I've received on BL is amazing. I accidentally found bl when I first lost my PM dr then joined 2 years ago but was too scared to post anything. I'm glad I finally did because I've learned so much in the past 2 weeks.

 

[cj]

I'm staying hydrated. I think. I'm sipping Gatorade every 15 minutes or so. I checked my blood pressure it was good. I actually thought it was high because my heart is racing since this started. But it wasn't. I just have this overall gross feeling like I'm weighted down. I'm trying not to take too much oxy because I don't see my dr til the end of the month. He's who prescribed them. And I tried to get an earlier appt but the receptionist said no way he's gone for a week and after that he's double booked. So I have to make these last however long I'll need them. I'm kinda worried about wd's from the 50mcg patch. I'll have had one on for 6 days. Wouldn't that cause some wd's also?
As for sweating I'm doing lots of that. And then I'll be freezing. I can't count how many times I've changed my sheets and clothes. I don't feel dehydrated. I did the pinch test and it looked good. It may be brain fog that I've read about on here. No one really describes it but I see it mentioned a lot.

Your not going to have extra withdrawal from the oxy or fent. We are just saying that the oxy and fent are masking a portion of the methadone withdrawal so when you stop those withdrawal symptoms will be unmasked if that makes sense. The hope is that since your still in withdrawal even with the oxy and fent that your brain will start producing natural endorphins to make up the difference. I don't want to make myself sound stupid by talking about pharmacology concepts I don't fully grasp but basically opiate withdrawal is caused by the body shutting down it's natural production of indegenous opiates. Withdrawal will end when your brain starts producing them naturally and homeostasis in the brain is achieved.
That's my ramble for the day I don't remember what point I wanted to make but there was a point I think. Lol.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Oh ok I get it now lol. It seems like I've been detoxing for so long and it's only been 4 days with nothing. But my wd's started long before that due to the rapid taper. I have to get up and go to get some groceries in the morning. I do better between 4am and 6am for some reason so the plan is to go to Walmart around 5:30 and get what I need and get out. My mom offered to go but I feel like getting out of this bed could do some good. I haven't left the house in over a week or more.
CJ you mentioned lack of endorphins. Is that what causes the severe depression? I've never had depression like this before. I was considering asking my dr for an antidepressant if it doesn't get better. I read somewhere that some long term opiate users require an ssri because they are unable to produce serotonin on their own anymore.

 

[cj]

Oh ok I get it now lol. It seems like I've been detoxing for so long and it's only been 4 days with nothing. But my wd's started long before that due to the rapid taper. I have to get up and go to get some groceries in the morning. I do better between 4am and 6am for some reason so the plan is to go to Walmart around 5:30 and get what I need and get out. My mom offered to go but I feel like getting out of this bed could do some good. I haven't left the house in over a week or more.
CJ you mentioned lack of endorphins. Is that what causes the severe depression? I've never had depression like this before. I was considering asking my dr for an antidepressant if it doesn't get better. I read somewhere that some long term opiate users require an ssri because they are unable to produce serotonin on their own anymore.

I honestly don't know the pharmacological theory behind the crippling depression but yeah some people have gotten a little relief from ssris. Just be aware they take around two weeks to have any effect.

Getting out of bed can definitely be a good thing just too take your mind off this hell. I'm impressed with how well your handling this I don't think I would be as upbeat as you are. I'm a baby when it comes to withdrawal. In fact I think I have a little ptsd from kicking suboxone in rehab. I get sick to my stomach just thinking bout it.

 

[CowDad]

I got completely off methadone years ago and never went back. My daddy told this friend of mine, "If he can do it, anybody can do it." I think the worst thing I ever did while getting off methadone was that I talked to other people about what it would be like, because, unknown to me, I became a hypnotic subject, and for me, it was not a lot of fun at all. It was like I expected.

The mind is incredibly powerful.

You can demonstrate its power to yourself if you have two or three minutes and another person close by.

Have the partner hold one arm straight out, parallel to the ground.
Instruct this person not to stiffen any muscles nor make any muscles limp.
Press down on this person's wrist to calibrate the strength. Just push lightly but enough that you could get an idea how much resistance you get.

Now have that person repeat the word, "Yes", and say it with that person, about ten times.
Press down on the wrist again. (Keep quiet for now about any changes, until you have gone through this process.)
Now have that person repeat the word, "No," about 10 times or so, with you saying it with that person.
Press down again. (Keep quiet about the results.)

Now you take the place of that person, with the same three muscle tests. And it doesn't matter who goes first.

One more thing that you might, or might not, want to check out.

Have the person hold the arm straight out. Now push down along the shoulder area, down to about the middle of the biceps. (You can press anywhere, but this is where you feel the greatest difference.)
Now, touch the shoulder lightly(optional), saying, "I want you to pretend that your arm is a beam in a big skyscraper, an iron beam, a very strong iron beam, and it is in this skyscraper and it is holding up enormous weight with ease." Say that a couple of times, and repeat, "Pretend just like you did when you a little kid, pretend that that arm is made of iron."
Now press down again.

And then say, "Let's forget the iron bar. Now pretend that your arm is just some ordinary arm and you have been holding out a bucket of water in that arm for as long as you can hold and now it is at the point that you can't hold it anymore, because that arm is getting weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker.
Test again.

By the way, it sounds to me like your deal with methadone is over. It's done. Finished. You are clearly a most remarkable individual.

 

[badbarbiedolly]

Thank you cowdad!
Today is day 5 of zero methadone! I managed to get to the grocery store at 5:30 this morning. I knew there wouldn't be anyone there that early. I got in and out in less than an hour. I was wiped out by the time I got out tho. Also I felt starving since I've only been eating saltine crackers and the occasional bite of real food for over 2 weeks. So I had the bright idea to swing through the only place open that early. Yep, that would be Krystal's. Without giving y'all tmi I'll just say I barely made it home in time. Lesson for the day is don't eat Krystal chiks & fries during wd's lol. Seriously I'm feeling better today but I'm worried about when I take this patch off on the morning. I'm terrified my wd's will be worse than they have been. And they've been pure hell. I can't imagine what they'll be like without the fentanyl masking them.
I'm learning a lot about myself and my body. What I'm capable of handling. Not to say that I've never been through hardship but this is something totally different. I hope I'm able to come to BL once this is all over and help someone the way I've been helped. CJ & TPD, if no one has told you already (and I'm sure they have) you're amazing! I wish I could give you both a big ole hug! ? I wasn't sure I could do this. But I listened to your advice and followed as much as I could with what I had available here. After talking with you I believed I could do it. And I was pretty unsure in the beginning.
I kinda got off track. I was supposed to keep this short and just update my progress. It's pretty much the same as yesterday. Still taking the oxy but today I broke them in half. I'm trying not to take 1 every time I feel the last one wear off. I metabolise medicine so fast so after 3-4 I can tell it's gone. I've been doing about every 8 hours. It doesn't take the sick away but I think it helps. I'm drinking much more Gatorade the past 2 days. Before I was just sipping and it came back up. Other than that I'm taking the 100mg Gabapentin around 9pm and the Restoril about the same time. I'm only getting about 15-30 minutes of sleep at a time totaling 3 hours or less a night. That's about it I'm slowly feeling better and that's good news. Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend..