Did I already kill my magic?!? HELP

[jbaby20]

Hi, So I was introduced to mdma probably 8 months ago and of course went through a honey moon fase (as a lot of young dumb people do). I never partied on it and only did it with close friends in a basement with lights and music. It's was so great for so long, every roll was as good as the last. We were doing it every weekend maybe sometimes every other weekend for probably 5 or so months (not good for you I know) never noticed any side effects. We stopped doing it all the time because we didn't want any side effects. We stoped doing it for about 2 months and all decided to do it again. I took .2 (I always said take all you're getting at first because you never really feel it if you take more later) and it was too intense at first, I almost felt like I wanted to be done rolling but then I started to feel okay and then it seems like an hour or so it went away. I was so mad! I have really bad comedowns where I'll convince myself I need more or something to feel high. not a good thing I know). Someone had DMT and I took a hit and it lasted longer than my roll did. Honestly it felt better than most rolls I can remember.
My friends all felt it good for a long time. They think I just don't let myself feel it, like my mind only wants the good high and doesn't like any other high. I hope I didn't lose my "magic". Any tips or advice??? If I have to give it up I will , no big deal.(I don't crave molly, unless I'm already on it then I'm really bad) I'm also a healthy active 20 year old female.

 

[Tranced]

Hmmm, I think the idea of losing the magic is somewhat overstated. I tend to think that it often has a lot to do with a certain nostalgic longing or idealisation of the expectation the experience (not that this really makes it any less real, I guess). I've certainly had friends who had some kind psychosomatic component diminishing the experience.

Maybe your dosing was wrong; perhaps it just hit you hard and you came down harder? Or you have tolerance? Or the anxiety of the initial intensity took something away from it? I don't know really, but if you don't redose then I guess you've just got to accept that it will wear off sooner as a matter of course.

Take a longer break I say. I've been taking MDMA for fifteen years now and it still works good for me; I only take it 2-3 times a year max these days, and it keeps things nice and sweet.

Can you describe exactly what it is that you find was lacking?

 

[jbaby20]

I did redose, .2 more and never felt it.
I just never had the crazy intensity before (kind of scared me) and then it seemed like it went from 100 to 0 really fast. I never really felt like "omg I feel so good." like everyone else did.

 

[Swim15]

Stick with rolling 3-5 times a year and you won't beat on your brain so hard and will have fantastic rolls every time