Its so satisfying, isn't it zopiclone bandit, giving the telemarketer spammers hell on earth?
I often fuck with them when they call. One fun little trick is, to tell them you'll be right back in a few minutes, and then just leave them hanging, having to pay for the call charges.
Or to speak really really quietly, making sure they will have to turn the volume up and put it right to their ear, then suddenly out of the blue, give them an ear-piercing shrieking scream down the phone right into their ear'ole
Or then there's good old fashioned crankyness, outright torrents of foul-mouthed vitriol what would ashame a whore with tourettes and a banger up her twat, feigning being a very, very senior citizen, faking being a disabled war vet to make them feel really really guilty, only to suddenly revert to oneself at the end, 'aahhh, I had you you thick cunt, I was just fucking with you'....if you tell them at all that is. Moaning down the phone and bouncing up and down on a mattress to make it sound like they caught you in flagrante delicto, maybe a background 'hey can you just take that out of my ass, I'm on the fucking phone here', interacting normally, until you put the phone to your arse and guff down the line with a really long, squeaky fart, or one of those awful sounding wet farts that sound like a torrent of diarrhea being beshitten down a clarinet.
Or to really fuck with the buggers, 'no, no, please, no don't, I won't tell anyone, I haven't seen your face just go, I won't call the police' followed by a couple of gunshots, and dropping the phone to the floor, with a stamp of the foot on the floor to make it sound like a body hitting the deck, making it sound like your own murder just went down, followed by leaving the phone on the line for a while, maybe or maybe not turning it off.
'me speekey no engeesh', making it sound like an arab, indian, chinese, or whatever else, just to stir shit. Black thug from the hood, is another funny one.
I make it into a sport, buggering about with spammers. Another funny one is acting like they just CALLED a telemarketer, and trying to sell THEM some made up, and quite possibly somewhat dirty or risque produce. I can be a real shit to spammers, especially if they have the temerity to wake me up while I'm asleep for the day. Then they are risking bringing out my cranky and pissed side. And I do my best to leave them feeling like a total, irredeemable oxygen embezzling shitheel.
And faking playing an ethnic minority and harrassing them with accusations of being racist in some way, homophobic, acting like a noxious millennial special snowflake. Yep...I am definitely rather cruel and generally horrid to telemarketers. I've noticed that the house now no longer gets anywhere NEAR the level of spam callers it used to. I have to wonder, if the house is on some sort of spammer-to-spammer shit-list as a 'don't call here if you know whats good for you, this one bites' profile.
Faking promises of sales as well, stringing them on as if your really elderly, and as thick as dog muck (not implying the elderly are, its just a role to play), let them think they can have your live savings out from under you, but taking forever, whittering on and being forgetful and nattering on about all sorts of inconsequential crap, making the call a hopeful one for the seller, but a miserable one too, anything to push those cortisol levels up high in the hope of triggering a heart attack that much earlier in life