I apologize if I'm not doing this thing correctly as this is my first post. I've done a lot of searching on my specific issue but I haven't found any information that applies to my unique situation.
So I've experimented with many different things in the past. I have a long history with many different pharmaceuticals and psychedelics. I have never been truly addicted to anything aside from nicotine. And I've never enjoyed benzodiazepines recreationally. Or at all really. No positive effects at all unless I needed to sleep. Over the last 5 years I've probably had a total of two 2mg Xanax bars and felt no positive effects whatsoever, therefore I have never had the urge to take them.
Fast forward to approximately 4 weeks ago today. My friend hit me up with 22 5mg valium pills. Normally I wouldn't even consider the offer but since I just switched from first shift to third shift at my new job, I figured I would use them for a week to adjust to my new sleep schedule. Obviously this was a very uneducated and stupid decision. I always do extensive research on anything I put in my body but this time I did not.
Anyways I ended up taking all 22 of them within 10 days without a day off between doses. I also had 3-4 beers on two of these nights (bad idea, I know.) and on day 10 of this binge I took 2gs of phenibut (terrible idea also).
The first day without valium went by as normal, as did the second. But when day 3 without valium arrived I suddenly had extreme uncontrollable tremors and shakes. Impossible to hide from my coworkers. I looked like an alcoholic in detox. Anyways the next day I woke up feeling ok but shaky until I had my first seizure. This was only a focal point seizure as I did not lose complete consciousness, but I did have to lay down and convulse and twitch while my eyes darted around without my control. This lasted maybe 5-20 minutes. It's hard to know for sure since it seemed like forever at the time. I went to sleep after this and woke up to have 3 more of these seizure over the next 24 hours. Each time I felt as though I was better before it hit me out of nowhere. After that the seizures stopped for good and I went through 10 more days of pure anguish. I'm sure it doesn't hold a candle to those who have used benzos for long periods and higher doses but I truly was afraid that I might not survive without medical help. My body was on fire I couldn't stop shaking and I had waves of something worse than panic. I would call it dread. As if It would never end and like I was dying. After these agonizing 10 days I decided to have a half of one valium. Felt much better and waited as long as possible (4 days) until I had another half. I followed this same schedule for one more week. I still felt like ass but it was completely manageable and tolerable. Then after a week of abstinence I visited some old friends and got pretty drunk. Had terrible rebound anxiety the next two days so I took another half (2.5mg) and feel fine again. It has been 3 days since my last dose and I feel 100% normal at this moment.
My question is if anyone out there has even a ball park guess on when I will be back to normal 100%. As I said before I have absolutely no interest in benzos and I flushed my stash and told my friend not to offer me them again. Even though I'm completely confident that I won't ever want anything benzo related for the rest of my life I figured the extra measures couldn't hurt.
The real most important question I have is when will it be safe for me to drink alcohol again? I have no problem with alcohol nor do I have any alcoholic tendencies. I hope you know I have no reason to lie about that. I just enjoy a light beer after work with dinner sometimes and maybe once every couple months I'll drink enough to get more than a buzz but not lose control by any means. Basically if there is a wedding or a rare special event I will allow myself to let loose and get a good drunk on. I have a very mature relationship with alcohol so I'm not worried about it becoming a problem I'm just worried about it bringing back the valium withdrawal.
One last question. I suppose the only way I would consider doing 1 small benzo dose in the future would be if I dropped acid and needed it on the very off chance that I have a bad trip and need to calm down. Keep in mind I only trip acid once every year or two max and I've only needed it once to end a bad trip. So there's an extremely small chance that I would feel the need to take one dose in the next 12 months.
I'm sorry for the lengthy post and if my times aren't completely accurate and hard to follow. Any response will be tremendously appreciated.
So I've experimented with many different things in the past. I have a long history with many different pharmaceuticals and psychedelics. I have never been truly addicted to anything aside from nicotine. And I've never enjoyed benzodiazepines recreationally. Or at all really. No positive effects at all unless I needed to sleep. Over the last 5 years I've probably had a total of two 2mg Xanax bars and felt no positive effects whatsoever, therefore I have never had the urge to take them.
Fast forward to approximately 4 weeks ago today. My friend hit me up with 22 5mg valium pills. Normally I wouldn't even consider the offer but since I just switched from first shift to third shift at my new job, I figured I would use them for a week to adjust to my new sleep schedule. Obviously this was a very uneducated and stupid decision. I always do extensive research on anything I put in my body but this time I did not.
Anyways I ended up taking all 22 of them within 10 days without a day off between doses. I also had 3-4 beers on two of these nights (bad idea, I know.) and on day 10 of this binge I took 2gs of phenibut (terrible idea also).
The first day without valium went by as normal, as did the second. But when day 3 without valium arrived I suddenly had extreme uncontrollable tremors and shakes. Impossible to hide from my coworkers. I looked like an alcoholic in detox. Anyways the next day I woke up feeling ok but shaky until I had my first seizure. This was only a focal point seizure as I did not lose complete consciousness, but I did have to lay down and convulse and twitch while my eyes darted around without my control. This lasted maybe 5-20 minutes. It's hard to know for sure since it seemed like forever at the time. I went to sleep after this and woke up to have 3 more of these seizure over the next 24 hours. Each time I felt as though I was better before it hit me out of nowhere. After that the seizures stopped for good and I went through 10 more days of pure anguish. I'm sure it doesn't hold a candle to those who have used benzos for long periods and higher doses but I truly was afraid that I might not survive without medical help. My body was on fire I couldn't stop shaking and I had waves of something worse than panic. I would call it dread. As if It would never end and like I was dying. After these agonizing 10 days I decided to have a half of one valium. Felt much better and waited as long as possible (4 days) until I had another half. I followed this same schedule for one more week. I still felt like ass but it was completely manageable and tolerable. Then after a week of abstinence I visited some old friends and got pretty drunk. Had terrible rebound anxiety the next two days so I took another half (2.5mg) and feel fine again. It has been 3 days since my last dose and I feel 100% normal at this moment.
My question is if anyone out there has even a ball park guess on when I will be back to normal 100%. As I said before I have absolutely no interest in benzos and I flushed my stash and told my friend not to offer me them again. Even though I'm completely confident that I won't ever want anything benzo related for the rest of my life I figured the extra measures couldn't hurt.
The real most important question I have is when will it be safe for me to drink alcohol again? I have no problem with alcohol nor do I have any alcoholic tendencies. I hope you know I have no reason to lie about that. I just enjoy a light beer after work with dinner sometimes and maybe once every couple months I'll drink enough to get more than a buzz but not lose control by any means. Basically if there is a wedding or a rare special event I will allow myself to let loose and get a good drunk on. I have a very mature relationship with alcohol so I'm not worried about it becoming a problem I'm just worried about it bringing back the valium withdrawal.
One last question. I suppose the only way I would consider doing 1 small benzo dose in the future would be if I dropped acid and needed it on the very off chance that I have a bad trip and need to calm down. Keep in mind I only trip acid once every year or two max and I've only needed it once to end a bad trip. So there's an extremely small chance that I would feel the need to take one dose in the next 12 months.
I'm sorry for the lengthy post and if my times aren't completely accurate and hard to follow. Any response will be tremendously appreciated.
