Attempting to make sense of something strange

[Bigphillopme]

Hi everyone

I'm sure similar experiences have been discussed, however, from what I can find online it's mainly experienced users shrugging it off as over-inflated or impossible. I'm really trying to make sense of what happened to myself a few weeks back in an attempt to learn from it.

I've been a pretty consistent smoker for around 5 years until recently. After giving up tobacco 6 months ago I found myself trying to wean away from alcohol also and weed in a bid to 'clean up'. So anyway, a friend came over recently and had brought with him a pot of the residue he had collected from his vape. I must admit, he's a much regular smoker than myself and therefore his tolerance is much higher. I also tend to only smoke weed and not consume it in any other way. So he collected this residue up and popped it in to a couple of capsules. I trust this guy, and when he said three was an easy way for a good high I went ahead and took three..

I pretty much came to my senses soon as I swallowed them- as you always do. A couple of hours later I wasn't feel a thing and felt relieved that I had somehow cheated the experience as night was coming and work was the next day. So there I was laying down when bang, I suddenly felt enormously high. I attempted to just go with it like I normally do, but this time was different. I felt a vacuum of energy rush from the top of my head and 'connect' me to something higher. I started to then flicker from this reality to another with equal speed. I was somehow being told that this reality was ultimately futile, that it was laughable and pathetic. Everything started to turn really dark and I had to wake up my partner so he would stop me from going too far in to it. Essentially, I live on a boat and I had a strong desire to jump in the river and drown myself because there was such a commanding voice in my head telling me to do so. It was almost as if I was overpowered by something bigger and I was struggling to control myself. I then experienced my first ever panic attack- I've really never had one before and it was terrifying. For most of the night there after I was convinced I had well and truly lost my sanity. I was convinced I would never see life the same and the prospect of going further into psychosis felt very real.

So the intensity of this experience lasted till early morning and I didn't feel myself for 2-3 days after..

I've spent a good amount of time reading other experiences which are of a similar intensity. It has dawned on me today though that this experience may have been heightened due to the fact that the last time I had smoked weed was at the same time that I had tried DMT for the first time. I'm quite experienced with psychedelics but I'm wondering whether the DMT has now opened my mind to experiencing weed in this way? Or whether it was the stupidity of the dose I was given?

To add also, I do not have a history of mental health problems and have never attempted suicide. So the compelling to do so was unfamiliar and strange.

I really don't want to give up weed, but I'm absolutely terrified of going through the above again. I don't think I could go through that again, it really was the worst thing I've ever experienced and I have done a lot of drugs before. I really never thought weed could do this to me, it was the most intense 'ride' I've ever had.

Any thoughts or advise would be greatly appreciated- thank you

 

[third_eye_lasik]

I rarely smoke weed anymore due to it causing anxiety/panic attacks. I only smoke now if I am going to play guitar with my jam mates or if I'm tripping and need an enhancer. After about 8 years of smoking daily and being super into it I just stopped having use for it outside of those times I mentioned. Psychedelics can alter the experience for sure so DMT would most definately count since its the king of tryptamines. Take a break for awhile and revisit pot at a later date.