Sexual anxiety suffering from ED

[robmatch22]

Hi

Ok so this is a long story but cut short....I've always had decent success with girls but last year I had a huge rough patch where all this stuff happened, had really bad anxiety issues and ended up going on a huge dry spell (no sex for 2 and a bit years).

At the place where I worked, this new girl started and we worked together for most of the year. I kept to myself my problems as it was personal but sometimes hard to control my emotions. One day we were talking and mentioned girls and then she suddenly asked 'are you a virgin?'. The answer was obviously 'no' but it deeply affected me, I just felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I gave off that impression. Her and another work mate would sometimes take the piss, they were not trying to offend me but because I felt so humiliated I acted like I didn't care but also didn't want to react to make other people notice.

Anyway life went on, I left the place of work and life got better. I finally had sex again (it felt like I had to lose my virginity all over again) and this year I've had a few new sexual partners. But the sex isn't good sex. I get really nervous before and usually drink a lot before it happens to calm my nerves. When the intercourse begins I can't usually keep an erection and then I make excuses like 'im too drunk/tired'. The whole 'are you a virgin?' scenario rings around my brain and I feel like I've lost all my confidence because of what's happened.

I've now become scared of sex and experiencing performance anxiety. What can I do to sort this ? This is so embarrassing for me and this is the first time I've spoken out. Please help, thanks.

 

[pofacedhoe]

stop drinking FFS

its bad for sex

excercise for anxiety

go swimming, go for a run, go cycling

really does away with anxiety

also do you consume caffeine? or other unnecessary stimulants?

also stop eating crappy food if thats something you are doing

 

[Anabasis]

As stated above, rule #1, NEVER drink anywhere CLOSE to sex. You've doomed yourself right from the start.

Next time, do this. Drink all you want and arrange to hook up later when you're totally sober, hydrated and have eaten light and healthy.

I identify a lot with your problem and experienced the anxiety causing sexual dysfunction. Here's the good news: it's all in your head and you, on your own, can make it go away.

This sounds so simple but my doctor told me to do it and it worked on the very first try: stop thinking during sex. Focus on her, not you, the past, the future, not anything. Focus on her and the experience. If you worry about your shit not working, it won't work. I was extremely fortunate that I found a hot young girl 17 years younger than me (of legal age) who was totally in to me and it helped me sort so much shit out and regain my confidence totally.

Speaking from experience: you have every reason to be hopeful, my friend.