Jaymineh

[Jaymineh]

Hi all! New member here! Have used this site for years for info and have a fair amount of personal knowledge of quite a lot of the subject matter on this site, therefore I thought it would be the right thing to do, to offer some of my knowledge and experience in the hopes it may be helpful to others and give a little back, so to speak. I've been a drug user since the age of 12, so just shy of 20 years, started with the usual suspects Marijuana and Alcohol and graduated to the spectrum of party drugs and hallucinogenic and finished up with iving heroin and other opiates and taking a cocktail of different Benzodiazepines etc. I've had short periods of clean time via going cold turkey and a few longer periods after I'm patient detoxes at Rehab centres. The longest period I had of recovery was 4 years and it was the happiest time of my life, I had my son during that period and for the first time in a lot of years was able to love a real, worthwhile and happy life. Unfortunately my biological father and I had gotten pretty close while I was in recovery for the first time in my life but he'd been a chronic heroin user his entire life but had been steering clear of street drugs and sticking to only taking his methadone script. He was supposed to be on 140ml daily but he had cut himself down to 40ml every second day, which for him was the hugest deal ever! He was finally able to start getting his life together and be s dad to me and my two half sisters and a grandparent to my nieces and it was fantastic to see. But after new years a few years ago he had a lot to drink, took a lot of different pills, benzos, barbs, etc, took a fair amount of extra methadone and unfortunately didn't wake up. As I'm sure you all can imagine, l was enormously devastated as were my sisters, I took it so hard that I relapsed , my dad's wishes were that me and my two sisters were to take a cord on his coffin an help to lower him into his grave, as I'd never done this before (as women usually don't) I got myself extremely worked up and scared about it and I picked up a drink, that was the start of the slippery slope back to my drug/s of choice. I've been desperate ever since to sort my shit out again, not just for me now but also for my son! When I was active in the 12 steps I was very very involved in helping others, even sponsored a few people and did talks, in schools, hospitals, psychiatric institutes etc but though I find it very easy to help others I very much struggle to help myself. So that's me in a nut shell for now.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

Glad to be here! ??????

 

[third_eye_lasik]

Glad you are here too....sorry to hear about that situation it must have been horrible So far I have never lost someone in my real life to drugs but known plenty of online people who have passed away. Hope you enjoy the site.