This my first post on this forum. I've lurked off and on for years, seeking various advice and wisdom. But never decided to post until now. I know there are other posts similar to mine, and many people may not read this or care, but I felt inspired to write it. Maybe it will help someone.
I have an addictive personality. My life seems to consist of getting hooked on things, and then struggling to give them up. I was an alcoholic for 8 years, haven't had a drink in 3. Went through a coke phase in early 20's, haven't touched that in 15 years.
Now.. opiates.
Vicodin was my poison of choice. There was a lot of oxy mixed in at various times, but those beautiful yellow 10mg were the constant. Started off as most people do, taking a couple at a time... slowly taking more and more per day, until I was taking them all day, every day. This was about 3 years. The last year or so I was easily eating 150-200 mgs of hydrocodone a day (not to mention the insane amount of tylenol). My story will sound familiar to many. Some of you weren't as bad as me, some of you were worse. Doesn't matter.. I've never been one to compare severity of addiction like we're talking about the size of a fish we caught. The point is, I was addicted to opiates for 3 years.
I have a good job. I have a wife and 3 children. Luckily, I kept all of those good things. And luckily I had enough income to where I coudld spend money on pills and still pay the bills. I was a functioning addict. I performed well at my job (as long as I was taking pills). I was a functioning member of society, with a secret not even my wife knew about. She knew I Was on something, but I explained it away as the benzos she knew I was prescribed. She's not drug-savvy enough to know the difference. (More on benzos later)
Finally, I decided to quit. I had thoughts of quitting many times, but was never REALLY serious about it. But this time I was. Nothing major happened. I didn't get arrested, etc... I just one day decided I didn't want to do this anymore. That's the first step. Deciding that. Really deciding that and meaning it. Although nothing major happened to make me want to quit, there were several factors leading up to it.
I had heard of kratom before. Decided to do some research. Some was done on this very forum. I was very strategic about my approach. I wanted to do this the right way.
Here is what I did. This is not a medical advice post. This is just my story.
Supplies:
I started with trying to do a taper of my last batch of opiates. As anyone who has tried this probably knows, an addict trying to taper is a total joke. What I did manage to do, however, was save 2 10mg pills. I took one my second to last day and somehow managed to keep it at that one. Then I took the last pill the next day around 5PM. Then a couple hours later I took 2 mg of clonazempam, a giant swig of Nyquil, and went to bed, anticipating the next day (in which I would be at work)
Day 1 I woke up feeling that feeling... like "oh shit I need some pills". Not quite full withdrawals yet, but a little sweaty, clammy feeling. Eyes tearing up, nose running, overall antsy and anxious feeling. I took a hot shower, drove to work and tried to ride this out as long as possible. I made it about an hour before I realized it was time for the next phase of my plan - Kratom. Based on my previous research, I decided to go with 10 grams (this is 20 capsules) my first dose, along with 1 mg benzo. (If I didn't already have a tolerance to benzos I would probably keep this at .5mg) At first I didn't think it was going to work, and it took a little while... but all of the sudden, it hit. I felt normal! My WD symptoms were 99% gone. It was phenomenal at how well it worked. And it actually made me feel kind of good. A buddy of mine asked me what it felt like, I described it as similar to a big Tramadol dose. Tramadol sucks, yes, but I'm trying to avoid WD's, and not get high
I rode it out as long as I could. It lasted longer than I thought. It wasn't until later on after I got home from work that I decided to redose the kratom.
That was pretty much the cycle. 10 grams of kratom, 1mg of benzo, repeat repeat repeat. The only difference is that at nights, I doubled the benzos and added NyQuil to help me sleep.
And I drank water. Lots and lots of water. I was pissing all the time.
I did this for 12 days straight. Then started tapering down the kratom. I ran out of kratom before I could taper like I wanted to, so decided I was ready to just stop it cold turkey. This is where I ran into my first problems. I started feeling antsy and anxious again, some muscle aches and nausea. I wasn't sure (and still am not sure) if I was withdrawing from the kratom or the opiates still. Either way, it didn't matter. I had made it this far, I was just going to power through it. I felt like shit, but not nearly as bad as previous opiate WD's. I could do this. This is also where the Immodium came into play. I guess the kratom kept the intestinal issues at bay, but once the kratom was out of my system, that lovely part of WD's started. I aggressively took Immodium. That problem lasted literally less than 2 days. Around that time (that the intestinal issues cleared up) I started realizing that the other symptoms had waned too.
That's when I realized I had done it. I had just kicked a 3 year opiate addiction.
Kratom is the secret. It is magic for the opiate addict. I think the reason it doesn't work for some people is they simply don't take enough. I had to swallow 20 capsules at a time. That seems excessive, but it's what needs to be done to get to the therapeutic level needed to help with WD symptoms.
That's pretty much it. Just wanted to share my story. Hopefully this helps someone. Opiate addictions can be beaten.
I'm sure I'll relapse at some point. Hopefully I will stop immediately and not get hooked again.
Last thing I want to say is that if anyone uses any of my advice... if you're not already on a benzo, and you start one to quit opiates.. quit the benzo as soon as you possibly can. The last thing you want is a benzo addiction.
That, my friends, is my next project. I'm going to take a while to adjust to my opiate-free life, then I'm going to kick the benzos.
Have a good day all.
I have an addictive personality. My life seems to consist of getting hooked on things, and then struggling to give them up. I was an alcoholic for 8 years, haven't had a drink in 3. Went through a coke phase in early 20's, haven't touched that in 15 years.
Now.. opiates.
Vicodin was my poison of choice. There was a lot of oxy mixed in at various times, but those beautiful yellow 10mg were the constant. Started off as most people do, taking a couple at a time... slowly taking more and more per day, until I was taking them all day, every day. This was about 3 years. The last year or so I was easily eating 150-200 mgs of hydrocodone a day (not to mention the insane amount of tylenol). My story will sound familiar to many. Some of you weren't as bad as me, some of you were worse. Doesn't matter.. I've never been one to compare severity of addiction like we're talking about the size of a fish we caught. The point is, I was addicted to opiates for 3 years.
I have a good job. I have a wife and 3 children. Luckily, I kept all of those good things. And luckily I had enough income to where I coudld spend money on pills and still pay the bills. I was a functioning addict. I performed well at my job (as long as I was taking pills). I was a functioning member of society, with a secret not even my wife knew about. She knew I Was on something, but I explained it away as the benzos she knew I was prescribed. She's not drug-savvy enough to know the difference. (More on benzos later)
Finally, I decided to quit. I had thoughts of quitting many times, but was never REALLY serious about it. But this time I was. Nothing major happened. I didn't get arrested, etc... I just one day decided I didn't want to do this anymore. That's the first step. Deciding that. Really deciding that and meaning it. Although nothing major happened to make me want to quit, there were several factors leading up to it.
- Although I made enough money to keep the bills paid, I thought of how much money I would have, and the things I could have done for my future if I hadn't spent tens of thousands of dollars on pills. I could be out of debt. My house could be paid off. I could have college set up for my kids.
- I was tired of being tired. Always tired.
- I was scared of fentanyl. I've encountered fake pills, and luckily never took them, but if I had, who knew what was in it. One day, there would be a perfect looking fake pill, filled with fentanyl, and that would be it.
- I was tired of my life being consumed by thinking of pills, finding pills, getting money for pills, waiting for pills.. Pills, pills, pills. That was everything. It consumed me. And those times where I couldn't find any and started Withdrawals... OH MY GOD. Those of you who have experienced it don't need it to be explained. It's the worst
I had heard of kratom before. Decided to do some research. Some was done on this very forum. I was very strategic about my approach. I wanted to do this the right way.
Here is what I did. This is not a medical advice post. This is just my story.
Supplies:
- Kratom - I've read that the best thing to do is order powder online. Best prices and quality. While I don't doubt that, I went to my local headshop and bought capsules. I overpaid, I'm sure, but I'm okay with that. For one, I was doing this at work and didn't have the ability to make tea or chocolate kratom milkshakes, etc.. I had to keep it very under the radar. I also like capsules because they were easily measurable, as long as the bottle was labelled with the gram content per cap. I used Red Bali kratom
- A Benzo - I have clonazepam. I don't really have anxiety, but I convinced my doctor I do to get some. I've been taking this for several years. I'm sure Xanax would work too, but clonazepam is what I had, and I liked the long half life that it has. I'm not sure how crucial this was to the success. For me, it was necessary, but I think for those who aren't already on a benzo and want to quit opiates, that this would help tremendously. If you don't have a script, and you're an opiate user, chances are you know where to find some on the street
- Nyquil
- Immodium
- Water - Lots of water
I started with trying to do a taper of my last batch of opiates. As anyone who has tried this probably knows, an addict trying to taper is a total joke. What I did manage to do, however, was save 2 10mg pills. I took one my second to last day and somehow managed to keep it at that one. Then I took the last pill the next day around 5PM. Then a couple hours later I took 2 mg of clonazempam, a giant swig of Nyquil, and went to bed, anticipating the next day (in which I would be at work)
Day 1 I woke up feeling that feeling... like "oh shit I need some pills". Not quite full withdrawals yet, but a little sweaty, clammy feeling. Eyes tearing up, nose running, overall antsy and anxious feeling. I took a hot shower, drove to work and tried to ride this out as long as possible. I made it about an hour before I realized it was time for the next phase of my plan - Kratom. Based on my previous research, I decided to go with 10 grams (this is 20 capsules) my first dose, along with 1 mg benzo. (If I didn't already have a tolerance to benzos I would probably keep this at .5mg) At first I didn't think it was going to work, and it took a little while... but all of the sudden, it hit. I felt normal! My WD symptoms were 99% gone. It was phenomenal at how well it worked. And it actually made me feel kind of good. A buddy of mine asked me what it felt like, I described it as similar to a big Tramadol dose. Tramadol sucks, yes, but I'm trying to avoid WD's, and not get high
I rode it out as long as I could. It lasted longer than I thought. It wasn't until later on after I got home from work that I decided to redose the kratom.
That was pretty much the cycle. 10 grams of kratom, 1mg of benzo, repeat repeat repeat. The only difference is that at nights, I doubled the benzos and added NyQuil to help me sleep.
And I drank water. Lots and lots of water. I was pissing all the time.
I did this for 12 days straight. Then started tapering down the kratom. I ran out of kratom before I could taper like I wanted to, so decided I was ready to just stop it cold turkey. This is where I ran into my first problems. I started feeling antsy and anxious again, some muscle aches and nausea. I wasn't sure (and still am not sure) if I was withdrawing from the kratom or the opiates still. Either way, it didn't matter. I had made it this far, I was just going to power through it. I felt like shit, but not nearly as bad as previous opiate WD's. I could do this. This is also where the Immodium came into play. I guess the kratom kept the intestinal issues at bay, but once the kratom was out of my system, that lovely part of WD's started. I aggressively took Immodium. That problem lasted literally less than 2 days. Around that time (that the intestinal issues cleared up) I started realizing that the other symptoms had waned too.
That's when I realized I had done it. I had just kicked a 3 year opiate addiction.
Kratom is the secret. It is magic for the opiate addict. I think the reason it doesn't work for some people is they simply don't take enough. I had to swallow 20 capsules at a time. That seems excessive, but it's what needs to be done to get to the therapeutic level needed to help with WD symptoms.
That's pretty much it. Just wanted to share my story. Hopefully this helps someone. Opiate addictions can be beaten.
I'm sure I'll relapse at some point. Hopefully I will stop immediately and not get hooked again.
Last thing I want to say is that if anyone uses any of my advice... if you're not already on a benzo, and you start one to quit opiates.. quit the benzo as soon as you possibly can. The last thing you want is a benzo addiction.
That, my friends, is my next project. I'm going to take a while to adjust to my opiate-free life, then I'm going to kick the benzos.
Have a good day all.
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