Hello! Sorry for bad grammar etc.
Posting this in homeless thread due to being unsure on where to post this, I am currently experiencing some side effects of a traumatic trip that happened and am hoping that perhaps someone can help me with an outside perspective.
So the fateful day took place in the beginning of march, i had recently gotten my hand on a batch of LSD which i was quite excited to try out, i have had previous experiences with psychedelics (around 4 trips on mushrooms of varying strength and 2 trips on LSD before hand so i was feeling quite confident.
So i got this new batch and took two tabs each one was 120 ug so 240 in total, i sat down put on some music and waited for it to kick in i was feeling pretty good for awhile some nausea during the come up but it pretty fine, after about 30 min i started getting the visual effects and started getting abit restless so walked around my apartment, the effects were slowly getting strong and i started to have quite strong auditory hallucinations and visual ones and my memory during this bit is quite hazy, but i remember getting stuck on thought loops while also having difficulties changing my playlist since my hands did not want to cooperate this continued for awhile and during this time i was starting to become scared since i was starting to think i might have overdosed, like i said this part is very hazy.
After about 2-3 hours after this i suddenly in a fit of rage flipped over my living room table once i saw what i had done i started to become very paranoid and scared i just did not understand why i had done that, this continued on with the fear and anxiety building up i thought about calling an emergency services but was scared of what a police respons might do, during this time i was also starting to lose grip on reality and was having a mental struggle of sort trying to remember what was real so it was like two parts of me fighting to retain control, the logical part of me just told myself to just relax sit down its just an effect of the drug, but my mind would not accept it, it is at this point i started become really frightened and thought i was about to die.
This kept on going for probably 1-2 hours with me desperately trying to reassure myself that everything was going to be fine, i did not work though and this is the part where it became really bad, i started moving around frantically around the house with this impending doom feeling hovering above me for some reason i snapped and thought going outside my help, luckily for me i live on the bottom floor since i think i might have been really hurt otherwise, i jumped off the small balcony landing on my back thinking it might help me snap out of whatever it was that was happening, i climbed up again and pretty much did it again i managed to scrape up knees and get deep cuts on feet and hand during all this trashing a bit of my apartment during it. I did not feel much pain if any at all and in my head this was simply something i had to get out of or i was going to die, this continued on for awhile until a neighbour called the police who managed to take me down and take me to the hospital where they gave me something to calm down.
Just a short while after this i felt like normal again though i was very confused and did not quite understand what had happend.
These days now i am still feeling a bit stuck in that moment, thinking about the incident brings back certain feeling or seeing something at home triggers flashback and i'm unsure on how to deal with it, i feel normal for the most part but thinking about the event is just is so hard since it almost feels like focusing on the event might make me snap again it and that terrifies me.
Sorry for the long post.
Posting this in homeless thread due to being unsure on where to post this, I am currently experiencing some side effects of a traumatic trip that happened and am hoping that perhaps someone can help me with an outside perspective.
So the fateful day took place in the beginning of march, i had recently gotten my hand on a batch of LSD which i was quite excited to try out, i have had previous experiences with psychedelics (around 4 trips on mushrooms of varying strength and 2 trips on LSD before hand so i was feeling quite confident.
So i got this new batch and took two tabs each one was 120 ug so 240 in total, i sat down put on some music and waited for it to kick in i was feeling pretty good for awhile some nausea during the come up but it pretty fine, after about 30 min i started getting the visual effects and started getting abit restless so walked around my apartment, the effects were slowly getting strong and i started to have quite strong auditory hallucinations and visual ones and my memory during this bit is quite hazy, but i remember getting stuck on thought loops while also having difficulties changing my playlist since my hands did not want to cooperate this continued for awhile and during this time i was starting to become scared since i was starting to think i might have overdosed, like i said this part is very hazy.
After about 2-3 hours after this i suddenly in a fit of rage flipped over my living room table once i saw what i had done i started to become very paranoid and scared i just did not understand why i had done that, this continued on with the fear and anxiety building up i thought about calling an emergency services but was scared of what a police respons might do, during this time i was also starting to lose grip on reality and was having a mental struggle of sort trying to remember what was real so it was like two parts of me fighting to retain control, the logical part of me just told myself to just relax sit down its just an effect of the drug, but my mind would not accept it, it is at this point i started become really frightened and thought i was about to die.
This kept on going for probably 1-2 hours with me desperately trying to reassure myself that everything was going to be fine, i did not work though and this is the part where it became really bad, i started moving around frantically around the house with this impending doom feeling hovering above me for some reason i snapped and thought going outside my help, luckily for me i live on the bottom floor since i think i might have been really hurt otherwise, i jumped off the small balcony landing on my back thinking it might help me snap out of whatever it was that was happening, i climbed up again and pretty much did it again i managed to scrape up knees and get deep cuts on feet and hand during all this trashing a bit of my apartment during it. I did not feel much pain if any at all and in my head this was simply something i had to get out of or i was going to die, this continued on for awhile until a neighbour called the police who managed to take me down and take me to the hospital where they gave me something to calm down.
Just a short while after this i felt like normal again though i was very confused and did not quite understand what had happend.
These days now i am still feeling a bit stuck in that moment, thinking about the incident brings back certain feeling or seeing something at home triggers flashback and i'm unsure on how to deal with it, i feel normal for the most part but thinking about the event is just is so hard since it almost feels like focusing on the event might make me snap again it and that terrifies me.
Sorry for the long post.
