One thing that really helps opiate withdrawal is exercise. I am on day 9 and heavily restricted by what I can do from chronic pain. However yesterday I forced myself to walk around 10km throughout the day. I worked up a sweat, which I think is important. So I have a new rule with weed. I've been sitting around smoking indoors during withdrawal but now any time I want to smoke I will go outside for a walk on the trails. I even found what looks strikingly like a meditation tree, and I was sitting under it yesterday and smoking a few times. After the exercise, my withdrawal symptoms were dampened to the point that I had my first decent day yet. It was really promising because I felt honestly 100% recovered like my good old burnt out self.
Now comes the extreme anxiety and panic attacks. 3 months into an oxycodone taper last year, I snapped. I hadn't slept in days, despite massive amounts of xanax and all sorts of sleep aids, and my life was a relentless non-stop panic attack. I'd rather abuse opiates than benzos if necessary and I felt at the time that it was, so I got on heroin at the end of November last year, again, and I am only just getting off it now. Mainly because I messed up a wonderful relationship over it, well two of them, the only ones I have ever had with women. Fuck man I can't even write that down without tearing up. Everyone has their limits and what rock bottom is to them but to me I do not need to go any lower than choosing a bottle of fucking percocets over a beautiful lady.
I can't deal with opiate PAWS and it's all physical - insomnia and panic attacks are physical effects too. I'm no longer any much depressed than I was previously, but the anxiety is extreme and if I can't get it under control I am going to relapse because I will reach for benzos for relief which is obviously stupid. I can handle the horrid pain in my spine, but I can't seem to handle a tinge of anxiety. Nature is essential, getting out in the woods or to the beach or wherever.
