So i'm a wee bit f'd up in the head at the moment

[Jeremiah31:16]

My name is Joshua, I hate it yet I love it. DXM aka Dextromethorphan. I've done it all ranging form the mild tobacco and cannabis to the next level of MDMA and like substances to the use of Methamphetamines, Heroin, Cocaine, Cocaine's evil twin Crack. I've taken just about every pill imaginable and in more ways than one. I've had my share of psychedelics including LSD most likely not the good stuff due to the federal ban but surely enough to have me seeing colors and shapes. Out of all of these substances I've taken I have never became addicted to any of them except for the crack which I have broke free from since. My current and hope to God the last addiction I'll face is actually none of the above named life destroying entities.

I am on a substance so common you can find it in your everyday travels maybe even in your own home. I am talking of DXM aka dextromethorphan. For those of you reading this who are not aware of what DXM is it is a common ingredient used in most cough medicines. Here is a link provided by Wikipedia for those who wish to educate themselves on this specific Drug https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dextromethorphan

I know, how can a guy try all these things and get addicted to the most simplest of things but it happened just like many other things. So here I am starting about 14 years old I have had this addiction to this drug and am now 21 so around 7 years it has haunted me. I really want to experience life without it but I feel it calling me. I'm a single male who works for a living. Maybe I'm missing something in life I don't know.

I can't fight this alone I know that much but what further must I do to beat this I don't know I have the intelligence to do great things but I'm trapped inside this bubble and I cant get any air. I want to have a live a normal life working a job having a wife and kids living the American Dream but I feel I can't start a relationship until I fix myself first. I don't know... Joshua signing off...awaiting replies.

 

[herbavore]

My son used to compulsively abuse this drug. I remember once having a huge argument with him as we read about it on Erowid together. He had looked it up to show me and "prove" that it was not physically addictive. I was reading the anecdotes from people below the facts and a huge number of them warned of the psychologically addictive nature of the drug--especially for people with high anxiety which my son struggled with all his life.

I believe that once something has established itself as a compulsion in the brain it makes very little difference whether or not the addiction is physical or psychological--the lines blur and become meaningless. One of the anecdotes was by a doctor that had developed such a strong compulsion--and overcome it--that he said he still could not walk down the cough medicine aisle in a pharmacy without it triggering him.

I believe that the best thing for you to do is to try to work on all the areas of your life that make you vulnerable. Tackle things like loneliness, boredom and any sense of isolation from yourself. Get therapy if you can afford it and if not, consider joining some kind of less expensive class (often through Parks and Rec or a local hospital) that teach mindfulness, meditation, yoga, conscious breathing--anything that will help you develop strategies that you can use to lessen the effects of these negative triggers in your life. One of the most important and completely free ways to strengthen yourself in and out is exercise. Take your life in your hands like it was a vulnerable baby that you have responsibility for: create a nurturing environment for yourself.

It was a very positive thing to start this thread, both as a way to talk to yourself and as a way to reach out to others. You've taken a first step and the next steps are no different--they may seem daunting when you contemplate them but if you tackle each day one at a time without spinning your mind out ahead of you into the future it can be a lot easier.

 

[kgeisel98]

I like your message herbavore! I agree with your suggestions. It is true that psychological addiction presents its own problems. I was addicted to snorting from a daily coke habit. I substituted percs and Hydromorph Contin for the coke. It took a couple months to stop snorting and take my crushed meds orally. Still have to get to the point where i take "as directed" and not dose myself with crushed meds. But it is a process to change addictive behaviours. Herbavore had great suggestions. Mindfulness (or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) is extremely helpful (or was/is for me). I don't know any substitutions for DXM dosing (maybe taking a cough syrup without DXM). I wish you luck on your journey!