Love or sex?

[MiddleAgedDude65]

I'm married to a lady I went to a high school dance with. She was married to the guy she met days after I took her to that cheesy dance for 30 years until her divorce and our reconciliation. I'd been as single man in his mid-forties during the height of the "50 Shades" fad. It was a good time to be single and middle-aged. My high school date was reading "50 Shades" and contacted me when her marriage was tanking. I was not only enjoying her in the biblical sense but fell in love with her because this was a woman my sister went to first grade with. We rode the same school bus as children. She was not some POF whore. Now, it seems that after our marriage and her coming off her hormones because it's been so many years since a hysterectomy and assorted sexual abuse issues the intimacy level is nonexistent. She's also an alcoholic that's leading me down her path. I love her but she's fucked up. Maybe some of the other Internet whores who still try to talk to me would be a better option. This is all pretty much rhetorical because there is no answer.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Can she get help for her alcoholism or is she willing to get help to get sober? Can you do the same?

 

[herbavore]

Calling women whores (especially one you "fell in love with") does not bode well for you or your relationship. If you want a good (meaningful and satisfying) relationship with someone you have to 1) find someone that also wants a good relationship 2) put the time and effort into understanding and loving that person and 3) understand that intimacy is about much more than sex. To be honest, it sounds like you are mostly interested in sex so maybe paying someone for that would be a much cleaner and more honest option?

No one can really lead you into alcoholism. Likewise, you cannot really save her from her problems with alcohol but you can encourage her and ask for the same yourself. Have you tried counseling?