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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(Alprazolam/16mg - Vodka/375mL) - No Tolerance - Learn From Me

Psychedalienation

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 28, 2016
Messages
391
Age: 18

Exp at the time: Etizolam, Alprazolam, Methylphenidate, Codeine, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, LSD, Mescaline, MDMA, Ketamine, Alcohol, Dextroamphetamine, Cannabis (Daily), Nicotine



Forewarning:
This trip report won't be too long as it was a few months ago and also because I cannot recall most of the events. This trip report was written for the sake of harm reduction. Please don't repeat my actions. The day/night of this experience I cannot recall as "fun". In fact, I can hardly recall AT ALL.

Intro:
It all started when I was searching for some Xanax bars (2mg). I wanted to get some for the comedown of an MDMA experience and a little for recreation as well.

I went through a few different people, trying to get a good price. Then, my cannabis connect referred me to someone who had a car and went to the local community college near my house. I hit him up and he was able to drive and deliver to me. He sold me some yellow school bus bars. So that was all cool and I had a good time and enjoyed them.

A few weeks go by and I get some more money. At this point, I am coming back from quitting drinking. I am now starting to drink vodka every day again. Now that I have a connect, I hit him up and also hit my molly/shrooms plug. She tells me she wants 100$ worth of these school buses per my recommendation. So me and her meet up with him and he gives me 5 bars plus 3 for free for getting him the deal.

Day:
This is where my memory gets faded (literally). I remember getting back home all excited. I remember smoking a bowl, subbing one, and snorting (yes I know, and I knew at the time too but didn't care. It's an addiction to the ritual) one. From this point on, I recall a few events. I recall hanging out with my ex gf's sister. Smoking weed with her and 3 different people 3 different times. I remember losing my iPhone 5s and not being able to find it, then my friend pressured me into leaving the search and telling me "it's gone bro". Throughout this day I was getting into this weird phenomenon that always happens to me with alprazolam. I will convince myself that I'm not high anymore or I'm coming down when I'm certainly not. So I'll take more. And then it's a wrap. A total blackout. I remember this one time I ate 20mg because of this same phenomenon and I woke up with a fresh ounce of weed with crumbled up chocolate mini donuts mixed into it and a hot ass girl I couldn't fuck the night before because I couldn't achieve an erection on that much drugs.

So throughout this day I remember getting down to my last bar and popping it.

Then I was with this homeless kid who I hung out with a lot. He's a nice guy and he has his problems and I have mine and we hang out and drink and smoke bud a lot and don't do what each other doesn't want to do basically. He's actually addicted to benzos if I recall correctly. He's ALWAYS on Xanax. So we went and stole a 750mL bottle of Skyy Vodka out of Stater Bros as if we had already owned the bottle and were just letting Stater Bros borrow it lol (I think it's 750mL. It's whatever the standard bottle of Skyy is). We drank half the bottle each until is was gone.

Night:
I'm fucked up. My friend I was with smoked BTH sometimes back then. He had his foil on him with the resin of the tar on it. I have never done heroin before, and it was always one of those things (along with methamphetamine) that I would vow never to touch. We decided to attempt to smoke the resin off the foil in the bathroom of Del Taco together. From what I remember, either none or BARELY any smoke came off and the mission was a bust. We decide to go outside Del Taco.

At this point I am so gone. The fact that I can remember this next part is ungodly surprising at the dose I was at.

I remember seeing this blonde girl in short booty shorts sitting up against the wall of Del Taco. I remember my friend leaving me for a second to offer her food because he thought she was homeless or something. Then I remember me telling my friend "watch this". I stumble over to her and say "Hey, wanna fuck?" (I am NOT like this sober. I would never be this disrespectful in my right mind). All I remember is two things: she screams at me while I laugh like a retard and walk away, and then her picking up her phone and calling someone.

I cannot not walk straight. I am slurring and hiccupping.

All I remember after this point is a white truck pulling up. Two white "gentlemen" got out. I remember seeing them and me immediately walking towards them aggressively as they walked up to me the same. I don't remember being beat up, I just know it occurred. I remember my friend splitting up. Then I remember blurs of memory of me moaning and dragging myself home 3 miles away with a broken nose, and blood all over me. Then I remember my backyard. I apparently hit this gate at the bottom of it while barefoot. According to the information of my parents, my scream could be heard from the next block over while my mom was INSIDE the house.

All I remember after that was laying down on my garage floor crying my eyes out while my mom threw a blanket on my fucked up ass in on and stayed with me until I inevitably passed out. She also checked on me throughout the night to see if I was still breathing.

I woke up searching for my phone. I got frantic and asked my mom what happened. She said I came in with nothing. My phone, skateboard, wallet, etc were all gone. I was PISSED. How could have I fucked up this bad? I went to the doctor and I apparently had a broken left big toe.

Afternote:
So the moral of the story is that alprazolam and alcohol (ESPECIALLY AT THESE DOSES) is dangerous and could lead to bad things happening to you. What happened to me sucked ass but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. Don't do what I did. I am much better than I was back then and I learned my lesson from that.

TL;DR:
I took a lot of Xanax and drank a lot of alcohol with it. I lost an expensive phone, attempted to smoke heroin, got beat the fuck up, embarrassed myself, broke my toe, and made my parents beyond pissed and disappointed.

substancecode_alprazolam
substancecode_pharms
substancecode_benzos
substancecode_alcohol
substancecode_gabaergics
_combo_
explevel_experienced
roacode_oral
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
exptype_disaster
 
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Wow man, that's intense, that's a pretty bad tale of benzo blackout. I once blacked out on benzos (but no alcohol so I was functional) and ended up travelling on a 2-flight plane trip across half the country to attend a week of training for work... I don't even remember getting to the airport, and I came to walking out of my hotel room with my rental car key and a printed map of how to get to the work office. Anything could have happened, I don't know. Seems like I was quite amazingly functional. I have about the luckiest case of benzo blackout potential disaster you can have though, most of the time when you black out, it tends to cause bad things.

Did those guys know you? Just a random group beating?

Anyway welcome, glad you're okay. :)
 
No they didn't. I'm almost 100% positive the girl I talked to called them. They pulled up about 10-15 mins after the girl screamed at me and called someone on her phone.

And wow, that's an interesting blackout! I've heard of functional blackouts. My friend knows someone who had a BIG bag of Xanax bars he was supposed to sell. Instead, he went on a week long blackout doing random shit and ending up in a mental ward for getting caught and acting crazy and radical. He woke up confused as hell. He was functional for a long while before that.

There's a lot of these stories when people have powdered benzodiazepines or liquid dosages and no mg scale or proper dosing tools.

Never eyeball lol.
 
Haha yeah. Many years ago I got 100mg of phenazepam (super potent, super long-lasting). I didn't have a way to get it into a solution at the time, so I was going to save it for when I did, but I also got 3 grams of methylone and 1 gram of mephedrone along with it, so I decided to definitely test those out. Well, fast forward to the end of Friday, I'm feeling like I could use a benzo due to repeated dosing of empathogenic stimulants. So, full of intoxicated confidence, I tried to eyeball .5mg of phenazepam. Then when it wasn't working after a while, I decided to try a tiny redose. I only remember scenes from the next 2 days, the rest of the weekend. I remember laying around on the floor and my ex asking what was wrong with me. I remember redosing mephedrone and running out. Well, on Monday I came to, and I had used 3 grams of methylone, 1 gram of mephedrone, and I couldn't find the baggie of 100mg of phenazepam (never did either). I don't know if I took it all... I'm sure I took more. Who knows?

It's fortunate that benzos are at least quite physically safe in an overdose because blacked out people do stupid things.
 
Haha yes dude!! It's crazy how something else just takes over for you in a blackout. Like there's nothing you can do until the stash runs out because the blackout gets extended after each redoes and when you're not in control, it's infinite until you get locked up or lose your stash or do it all. That's a crazy story, that's quite a bit of drugs you did. Did you experience any sort of withdrawals or something?
 
No withdrawals, no. Well I was addicted to opiates at the time, but nothing additional. I did have serotonin depletion symptoms afterwards for a good week, just feeling really low, some minor brain zaps, etc. I still wonder how much of that phenazepam I did. I never even found the baggie so it makes me think I lost it.
 
You probably did lose it. But you never know. To be gone for that long makes me suspicious that you really did it all haha.

So wait, while you were blacked out, you did opiates throughout the whole time? Like you subconsciously did them? And the feeling low was from the stims I would assume.
 
Yes and yes. Well, I mean I assume I did opiates the whole time because I wasn't in withdrawal when I came out of it and I would have been after 6 hours or so since my last dose. But yeah, I felt low because of serotonin depletion.
 
Blackout stories... they make pretty good ones, despite not being able to remember them, don't they?
 
That's quite a story indeed. Scary stuff man. I'm high as fuck so I'm just gonna relax and read benzo blackout stories for the lols. Gn.
 
A thousand years ago, before The Fall, I went to a party of my Grad School classmates, with some Xanax first. See, I didn't really know or like them, but it seemed like the right move to go. They were still kind of obnoxious, these 22 yo to my old man 27, and had wine for some reason, that they didn't know how to drink.

Then I couldn't figure out why I couldn't move my hands. They were stuck behind me. I was moving. In a vehicle. In that 30 seconds of consciousness I figured out why, and went back to sleep.

Three misdemeanor charges, can't tell you any of them. It was definitely the beginning of something though, since there were at least two dozen since (at least in bigger cities, where the cops don't have time and just pass you off to an ambulance).
 
You're crazy OP lol ive kept somewhat of a track of your posts & this story seems very me like on benzos & alcohol. Lol glad you're okay tho
 
You're crazy OP lol ive kept somewhat of a track of your posts & this story seems very me like on benzos & alcohol. Lol glad you're okay tho
Yeah I know you ovo! I remember when we met haha! I should post my other stories I have. I have a few more. Thanks btw :)
 
Yeah I know you ovo! I remember when we met haha! I should post my other stories I have. I have a few more. Thanks btw :)
I remember messaging you when you were worried about that dxm trip right? Lol. Yeah post more if you got the time. These stories make the day a bit better lol
 
I believe we met when I was going through alcohol withdrawals and I was scared I was going to die. And yes I'm going to write some right now.
 
I believe we met when I was going through alcohol withdrawals and I was scared I was going to die. And yes I'm going to write some right now.
Yes that was the first time & you were only 17 then right? Now you're 18? How is your alcohol use now anyway? I'm 24 & have had problems with alcohol off and on since i was 17 so Idk :/
 
It's a lot better now that I can't steal. I just drink beer on some days when we get taken to Walmart or the mall. I usually just smoke weed now. I'm going to get some Xanax as well soon. Alcohol is a drug I've always hated. I only was so into it because it was FREE. I stole probably like 400-500 bottles of liquor in my life. I am like an expert at it. All my favorite drugs costed and still costs money so it's hard for me to get them without a job. When I used to work at Carls Jr. I didn't touch a drop of liquor. It was just ounces on ounces of cannabis all day every day.

I'm sorry to hear that, though. If you need support I'm here for ya, man. Alcohol is a stupid drug to get addicted to in my opinion. I know you're better than it.
 
You're going to have problems with drugs all your life, likely increasingly so, unless you can learn to feel content sober. This involves making your life something that you enjoy. The best thing to do is find what you're passionate about and then devote as much time to that as you can, work at it, do it, get better, it makes everything else in life so much better. I'm always working on this too as I love to get high on various things and I really have struggled to not do drugs every day for a long time. I'm 34 now and I'm a lot better at it than I used to be, but I am also deeply involved in playing music and when I wake up in the morning, I might be like, ah it would be cool to do <insert drug here>, but I'm also thinking, I'm excited about after work today because I have band practice, so it's good either way.

But to get here I went through a lot of problems, all through my twenties I was addicted to opiates which got so bad I wished to die by the end of it. It wasn't until age 30 that I really started working on not just getting high all the time. I had some things in my life situation that were really not working for me, and instead of working to remove those things and figure out what I DID want in my life, I just masked it with drugs. So, just thought I tell that little tale because the younger you are, the easier it is to change.
 
It's a lot better now that I can't steal. I just drink beer on some days when we get taken to Walmart or the mall. I usually just smoke weed now. I'm going to get some Xanax as well soon. Alcohol is a drug I've always hated. I only was so into it because it was FREE. I stole probably like 400-500 bottles of liquor in my life. I am like an expert at it. All my favorite drugs costed and still costs money so it's hard for me to get them without a job. When I used to work at Carls Jr. I didn't touch a drop of liquor. It was just ounces on ounces of cannabis all day every day.

I'm sorry to hear that, though. If you need support I'm here for ya, man. Alcohol is a stupid drug to get addicted to in my opinion. I know you're better than it.
How funny that's why i always drank as well. Being broke a lot (from buying drugs) then not wanting to be sober so stealing bottles with my friends took over. Drinking any time of the day or night. Thought it was so much fun. Now I'm getting older & getting left behind. I'm a work in progress now tho. Thanks for the words. Where do you live by the way?
 
You're going to have problems with drugs all your life, likely increasingly so, unless you can learn to feel content sober. This involves making your life something that you enjoy. The best thing to do is find what you're passionate about and then devote as much time to that as you can, work at it, do it, get better, it makes everything else in life so much better. I'm always working on this too as I love to get high on various things and I really have struggled to not do drugs every day for a long time. I'm 34 now and I'm a lot better at it than I used to be, but I am also deeply involved in playing music and when I wake up in the morning, I might be like, ah it would be cool to do <insert drug here>, but I'm also thinking, I'm excited about after work today because I have band practice, so it's good either way.

But to get here I went through a lot of problems, all through my twenties I was addicted to opiates which got so bad I wished to die by the end of it. It wasn't until age 30 that I really started working on not just getting high all the time. I had some things in my life situation that were really not working for me, and instead of working to remove those things and figure out what I DID want in my life, I just masked it with drugs. So, just thought I tell that little tale because the younger you are, the easier it is to change.
Reading this made me feel a lot better about things for some reason
 
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