I had a stark realization this morning that I have been trying extremely hard to maintain control in a helpless situation. My life has changed dramatically in a short amount of time, and it had started feeling like I had no "me" time, so I tried to carve a little bit of that out in whatever way I knew how. I had noticed the helplessness and anxiety for a while, but it just occurred to me what I was doing to try to help myself. It's relieving to recognize that there's a logical answer for what life has felt like recently, and one that is free of shame and self-flagellation is a-okay with me.
I'm a bit scattered from lack of sleep. Maybe this will help and maybe it will be meaningless to help you. I used to put in for every early retirement offer where I worked. I had a serious case of "the grass is greener" thinking. But once again cosmic conscious Katie knew what was best for me. I was turned down for every one. Looking back, I would have never been able to survive because the % of my pension paid would have been way too low. So another thing I wanted that made me so mad when it was denied. My friend jokingly said "When you walked out of that meeting to discuss your early out you literally looked like you were ready to kill someone". I would have never been able to live vey well off that reduced pension, Now that I am retired, I have plenty of "me" time. I know if many that read this they will think what I'm about to say is ridiculous and hobbies will be mentioned. Having too much free time on your hands is stressful in it's own way, but me time is still something I like very much. Do your best to stay out of your head. Ironically this is coming from me, someone that has a hard time staying out of my head. I think mastrubation is just part of a being a guy. Don't obsess over it, it's pretty normal IMHO. When it crosses the line to porn addiction, then i believe it starts to rewire your brain in a not so great way.
I hope things turn out as good as you are wishing for. It seems you are in charge, but wouldn't it be interesting to have a backup plan?
Just in case..
Best of luck!
I was doing better before I started using my prescribed kolonopin Again. It really does trigger cravings and makes me have mood swings or it simply makes my natural mood swings worse. I think I may have bi polar disorder with very subtle manic periods and very deep depressive periods. I don't know if that's possible but it does describe my behavior.
I was doing better before I started using my prescribed kolonopin Again. It really does trigger cravings and makes me have mood swings or it simply makes my natural mood swings worse. I think I may have bi polar disorder with very subtle manic periods and very deep depressive periods. I don't know if that's possible but it does describe my behavior.
Yep. Was out with the dog earlier and it was pleasantly overcast and didn't feel like the inside of an oven. And I appreciate that my central AC isn't running continuously like it does on those brutal days when it doesn't rain.Looks like it is going to rain in lovely Orlando Fl... just going to sit back and enjoy.
Yep. Was out with the dog earlier and it was pleasantly overcast and didn't feel like the inside of an oven. And I appreciate that my central AC isn't running continuously like it does on those brutal days when it doesn't rain.
Stumbled across this. Amazing I never saw it sooner with all the years I've wasted in front of the television: