Hi. I'm new and hopeful.

[WaningSolitude6]

Hi.

I'm a 24 year old female residing in the southernest crowdiest part of California. It's 6am and too bothered to let myself just sleep. I am a common example of a quiet anxious dorky introvert. I'd add depressed to that list of relatable adjectives but at this point in my life I've come to accept that its probably just who i am as a person.

A person who also feels like they hate most people now mostly because the closest most trusted people to me don't seem understand my lonliness and pain nor do they want to, they lie to me, and only play nice when i do and act the way they prefer... just like everyone else...Maybe I'm just circling the same small pond, I don't know but here I am now.

I'm relatively new to this party scene. 2 years on and off. Didn't do squat before. Even drinking was light. Reserved for the occasional social gathering. And now I feel like the only thing that makes the daily hurt bearable is the thing I must let go.

Hope i didn't come off too whiny or narcissistic or off putting in general but I thank you for hearing me out.

See you guys around the forums!

 

[herbavore]

Hi and welcome to Bluelight!We live in a pretty shallow culture and SoCal likes to amp that up even further it seems Still, there are good peeps everywhere so don't settle.

It's always a good thing to keep the "partying" vs "self-medicating" clear in your own mind.

 

[WaningSolitude6]

Thanks I really appreciate the warm welcome and wise advice. I feel safe and happy to join this community.

And I do agree and cannot emphasize enough the importance of knowing and acknowledging what the difference is. Especially to yourself.