• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Addicted to Benzos again

Cravings are pretty standard, just an unfortunate consequence that we must deal with if we want to control our addictions..

Things like MDMA and opiates cause massive stimulation in the pleasure centers of our brain. With heavy or frequent use, maybe even infrequent use, the brain tries to "normalize" and attempts to adjust to the level of stimulation caused by the drugs.

When you take that stimulation away you are left with lowered levels of things like dopamine and serotonin and a desire for that surge of stimulation that drugs can cause. As your brain readjusts to sobriety the cravings diminish and you will start feeling good again without having to use drugs to get high.

I'm in my 4th month of sobriety and I still have urges to use drugs like opiates, benzos, MDMA, LSD and cannabis but I've noticed a big difference between now and immediately after I had quit. I don't get sweaty and so anxious I can't sit still, more just get excited or enticed by the idea. I don't find myself pacing in circles twisting my hands debating whether or not I should use. Although I still have thoughts of using from time to time. They are much more manageable and I feel much more in control the longer I am sober.
 
Tapering off of benzos sucks, but if done properly, you would be surprised at how much better you can feel, and not necessarily something that will take as long as you think. Just be disciplined, have what you need so that you KNOW you have what is required to taper (gear), and slowly titrate down. It is uncomfortable, at times, and I think the rebound anxiety and sleep issues are the biggest killers. So having said that, in the beginning of a taper, I always make sure I keep myself "OK" throughout the day, and give myself something more substantial at night, preferably a LA benzos. One of the worst things about the shorter acting Bs is that once you get used to popping them, you have a limited window before you are rebounding. I use clonazolam to wean off of Etiz, using just enough, and bc the 1/2 life is so much longer with the clon, it helped a lot. Again...take a couple of weeks, reduce as you can ( must be disciplined), and before you know it, you won't feel like sleeping half the days away, one thing that the Benzos always made me dislike. Also, should be mentioned that I do not allow my tolerance to get super high, as that makes it all worse. Even with my limited Clam use, I never went above 1mg a day. Once I did that, I began going backwards because I simply had read far too many horror stories about people consuming multiple mgs of multiple lams/pams, and that is sure to fuck you right up if you let tolerance get a hold. Also, for what it is worth, recreational use of benzos has such a limited window for actual recreation, that it is counter-intuitive to get nuts with them. Besides slurred speech, coordination issues, can't think straight or remember this or that. Anyway...good luck.
 
Wow thanks for that guys you cheer me up. Today ive been sooo tired only managed 3 hrs sleep. But I feel a lot more stable now on the same dose, the anxiety not too bad at all.
No plan to reduce my dose for a while feeling much more positive today. I will beat it some day as long as I follow a golden rule never take an escape pill or up my dose ever
 
I remember feeling completely exhausted I could barely get myself out of bed but so anxious I couldn't sleep. It's not a fun place to be but know that it won't last forever.

Stick with it, you will thank yourself later down the road.
 
benzo withdrawal is no joke... maybe have your girlfriend hang on to your meds and dispense them in a taper plan... with a calender and shit
 
Well well.well. I have been. A naughty boy I took MDMA and dmt a couple nights back and there's been no increase in anxiety as I don't find MDMA much of a stimulant, it usually mongs me out. Since I have reduced from 25mg to 20 mg and still no withdrawals it's easy days yet but I'm wondering if either the MDMA or dmt has altered my body chemistry . I know they don't mess with GABA a sites but something magic has happened. While in the dmt state I did ask for healing ...I doses way too high of MDMA and still feel off balance like a drunk . In fact even when I first tried Molly I thought it was overrated. I need a good 240mg for a decent roll, I'm so not normal
 
Did you test you MDMA or do you just trust the dealer?

I would think the acute withdraws from MDMA would make WDing from benzos worse. I'm guessing your body is starting to adjust to the lower dose of benzo. Both MDMA and DMT will alter your body chemistry.. that's sort of the definition of a psychoactive drug. MDMA will probably have a bigger effect that can take a few weeks to recover from, largely low levels of serotonin. Some people even report longer recovery periods. People have theorized about different psychedelics and neurogenesis, but as far as I know, they are still just that- theories. Beyond that I don't know how DMT will impact the body.
 
Maybe the DMT helped reduce your tolerance , maybe go even less MG and see what happens
 
I'm medically prescribed these things for my issues. You may not like to hear this but you are going to need to address the issues that make you want to take such high doses of benzos. I've been there, it takes time to work thru some problems but it'l get better
 
Major update down to 1.5mg of Diclazepam a day guys I feel like I'm at the finishing line. But not quite. Been very stable with minor wobbles in shops and stuff but my brain feels much better off those higher doses...Almost there . Never give up anyone.
 
Way to go, benzodmt!! You are doing great. Keep yourself moving forward, one day at a time.
 
Onto 1.3 mg of Diclazepam been stuck here for a week, hardly no restful sleep, very choppy. And bits of moderate anxiety. It's true what they say the lower you get the harder it gets to drop your dose.. just wondering when you guys think I should drop off as I don't think I wana go all the way to 0.1
 
It's true what they say the lower you get the harder it gets to drop your dose..

Yeah, it's because the percentage of the total dose that you're lowering by becomes larger and larger. Like, if you're on 5mg and you drop a half mg, you've dropped 10%, but if you're at 1mg and you drop a half mg, you've dropped 50%. Anyway, you seem to be doing well, good work!
 
I've gone backwards through my own fault. I have done MDMA twice in a month. Amphetamine to give me that morning boast and 6apb twice. Way too much infact I know I shouldn't do this to myself, one night I had to take alot of benZos to get myself out of a situation. Thought it would be ok a one off how wrong was I..
My anxiety is always nagging me . I can't sleep unless I take 100mg quetiapine, 600mg pregablin and 2mg diclazepam at night and that's choppy. The thing is I don't know now wether the anxiety is me needing more benZo, pregablin or what it's so messed up.

I wish I never started pregablin at all. I don't like this shit I trusted my Dr ..What a dick head.

Im supposed to take 2x 300mg pre I have to take it all at night. I also took copius amounts of phenibut just once a week thinking that would be ok but I think that's the reason I feel my gaba b is also screwed.

I have a daytime drink to lower anxiety levels this can't go on. But I'm loosing it a bit.

I have not given up though I'm going back to drug counselling next week. And from what I've heard there's a Dr on site. Cos I need some cooking help not drugs.
 
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It sounds like you need to address the source of your anxiety. I'm sure that benzos and pregablin cravings will intensify anxiety, but I don't think they are the sole source of your anxiety.

IME, recovery involves a lot of self-discovery. When you take away the drugs you are forced to address how you feel, why you feel the way you do, and what you can do about those feelings(besides getting high or ignoring them). Emotions are driven by automatic thoughts. We have conditioned ourselves to think and in result feel a certain way, and that is how we make sense of the world.

It takes work and practice, but over time you can start to change the way you feel by understanding the way you think. This is where a drug counsellor can really help. Having someone who is empathetic and understanding of your condition can really bring certain aspects of you life to light. Whether it is fear of rejection caused by a bad relationship or depression and anxiety caused by childhood trauma, there is something driving your actions, and there are thoughts and feelings that correlate with it.

Recovery is a good chance to sort of reevaluate yourself.
 
All back to normal. It took a good couple of weeks to stabilise again and currently on 1.65mg diclazepam a day. I've even managed to taper my pregablin down to 350mg a day from 600mg as I felt they were doing nothing and how right was I. I'm dropping my pregablin at a rate of 25mg a night and so far no issues in fact I feel more clear headed and focused on the task in hand..
Apart from the winter blues I'm feeling cool. Got a rave next week no candy for me.
I thought I'd get there by 2018 probably not but by the time things warm up I will have learned a very valuable life lesson which is simply I can't touch Benzos again, it just ain't worth it...And drugs in general I have to be more responsible and not take them to fill a void in my life which ultimately leads to addiction and suffering..

There were times of distress when I would of taken anything but my life ain't going into the gutter.

I have decided to taper in 0.5mg increments and slow things down.. Diclazepam is a funny one the half life is so long.. even diazepam theres those peaks and troughs.

Never take your GPs advice as gospel. Educate yourself. Pregablin is a dirty drug and I seriously don't understand the abuse potential....
 
Back down to 1.55mg diclazepam, making a drop to 1.5mg next day or two.
Pregablin down from 600mg to under 200mg, that stuff is not worth it. Relief for a few days then tolerance. What bullshit UK gps are
 
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