Am I losing it?

[5ht2Antogonist]

Hi, the reason I'm posting this is I really want to know if there's something serious going on or.. are about to come out.

To sum up,
I have previously taken 2 substances and following these experiences, I ve never felt the same as before.


First, I started with searching for the legal psychedelics..later on.. found about Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds which contain LSA and ordered some.


I chewed exactly 2 of them and the results were barely noticable to be honest. No hallucination, there was mild but instensifying euphoria.
So, this feeling went on almost all night (Maybe it's because I had them on empty stomach.) --I also realised manic thought patterns first time ever--


Anyway, I'm not sure how much this particular experience has effected my mental serenity&capability but then a few days later I meet my friend P and he says I should try LSD as well. (for an elevated sanity?)


Having no prior psychedelic experience except Hbwr (if that counts) I decide to give "Lsd" a try.


It turns out it was totally fake and not even a Lysergic Acid analogue at all.


By making my tongue go numb, I should've known that it was a NBOMe compound. (It was not bitter) (He told me it was LSD!! :/  )


Anyway what I wanted to ask about was .. The chemical I ingested didnt give me any hallucination. While chemicals effect each individual differently, I'm curious that if the amount he gave me was below the threshold. And would this amount of a chemical be enough to create such an enormous effect on an individual? (In this case, : Me)


I'm really sorry it's just .. I'm not the same since it happened and I'm having derealizations and mental distruptions (not quite like a fog, feels like I'm not conscious enough plus huge memory deficits) ..well also have Uneasiness about my situation overall, whether it'll last lifelong. (it's been 3 months)


Any help/advice will be much appreciated.
(I also think about microdosing mescaline/psilocybin theraphy but I'm just not sure)

{ P.S: I sent a very similar PM like this to someone here on BL but I decided I can post it as a new thread. }


Thanks

 

[pupnik]

So, this fog is not helping, so don't be adding any drugs that affect your thinking for a few years.
no weed no blotters

You like a clean machine, and you can get that back.
Focus on school, and treat your body to swimming or yoga
Explore other aspects of life.

Nothing psychedelics bring you are completely new, you have had these experiences in dreams and in the transition between sleeping and wakefulness. It is just a bit shocking to experience while awake.

I have had that NBOME burn, and just the memory of it can make you feel like it is happening again, it is just memory.
give it time.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

So, this fog is not helping, so don't be adding any drugs that affect your thinking for a few years.
no weed no blotters

You like a clean machine, and you can get that back.
Focus on school, and treat your body to swimming or yoga
Explore other aspects of life.

Nothing psychedelics bring you are completely new, you have had these experiences in dreams and in the transition between sleeping and wakefulness. It is just a bit shocking to experience while awake.

I have had that NBOME burn, and just the memory of it can make you feel like it is happening again, it is just memory.
give it time.

Thank you so much for your kind answer pupnik. I feel like it's getting better but there're times I keep thinking about the day I took the blotter and I suddenly feel like the psychological damage is done & irreversible. Besides, it was a Research Chemical and there're lots of unknown about it still. We don't know the reason why this chemical was made for at the first place.

 

[pupnik]

another thing,
being obsessive compulsive about something like this does not mean you have a medical disorder which needs drug treatment.
focus on other things.

don't even bother researching nbomes any further as that adds to the obsession.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

It's not irreversible. like pupnik said, go completely clean for a couple years and you should regain mental stability.

I thought I was permanently fucked up from very heavy and traumatic weed smoking in my late teens. Once I was off of weed for a few years I got my life back.

 

[Xorkoth]

We had another poster in here a while back who obsessively researched NBOMes. We went around and around and around with him, he even was in communication with Dr Nichols (one of the leading psychedelic experts and involved in research on the NBOMes), who told him it was not permanent, and after 100 posts in the thread we had to close it. I say this only to agree with one of the posters above, you need to just move on and try to think about something else, obsessively researching is just going to freak you out. Dwelling on this experience is doing you no good.

You say you're starting to feel better, and that's awesome. Focus on that, just take care of yourself and refrain from any drugs (if you smoke weed, you should stop immediately until this clears up, as weed really exacerbates stuff like this), until you feel better.

 

[DimeBagJohnny]

I had the EXACT same experience.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

I had the EXACT same experience.

Can you contribute a little more ? What were your experiences like? For how long the after-effects lasted /or have you been still experiencing them?
Honestly, I never thought that amount of substance would effect me this much. If my friend had told me the truth(that it was not LSD), I would've avoided it. I always have this feeling of tiny pressure inside my head (could be brainstem i guess) and I'm sure it's related to Serotonergic System somehow. Before I did NBOMe, I guess it was still there but I remember the tingly feeling inside my brain & spinal cord first came around when I took that 2 Hawaiian Baby WR seeds.

I'm just.. I don't hear voices or anything but my thought process seems to take a while now and I don't feel like I'm living the moment TBH. I probably never had any psychotic episodes though, I'm way too worried about the whole thing. I also don't know how much dose I was given that night.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

We had another poster in here a while back who obsessively researched NBOMes. We went around and around and around with him, he even was in communication with Dr Nichols (one of the leading psychedelic experts and involved in research on the NBOMes), who told him it was not permanent, and after 100 posts in the thread we had to close it. I say this only to agree with one of the posters above, you need to just move on and try to think about something else, obsessively researching is just going to freak you out. Dwelling on this experience is doing you no good.

You say you're starting to feel better, and that's awesome. Focus on that, just take care of yourself and refrain from any drugs (if you smoke weed, you should stop immediately until this clears up, as weed really exacerbates stuff like this), until you feel better.

Yeah, but it's been more than 3 months now and I started to realize some of the effects just now (like longer memory processing) and my thinking is that there has happened some sort of chemical imbalance in the brain which might require a mild intervention like re-wiring the neurotransmitters with the help of natural psychedelics.
I haven't even experienced a psychoactive state in my lifetime TBH (I live in a place where weed is totally illegal)

Anyway what I'm saying is.. I don't think this feeling I have will ever cease. I actually think that that particular NBOMe experience caused some sort of Programmed Cell Death in the brain by not well known or/ well understood mechanisms.

I 'm just thinking that with the stimulation of various 5HT receptors in the brain(stimulation on 5HT2A shall be almost non existant) , I may regain ,at least, an altered state of mind, and by that I'm seeking to get my old-self again.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

It's not irreversible. like pupnik said, go completely clean for a couple years and you should regain mental stability.

I thought I was permanently fucked up from very heavy and traumatic weed smoking in my late teens. Once I was off of weed for a few years I got my life back.

I don't know how weed feels or affects a person overall in the long term(cause I haven't done any) but .. all I'm saying is I wish my friend had introduced me to weed instead of giving me that NBOMe stuff. I know that anything can get quite dangerous if done often & on large doses but I just don't believe the dangers of a single use of weed and the latter is the same IMO.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

another thing,
being obsessive compulsive about something like this does not mean you have a medical disorder which needs drug treatment.
focus on other things.

don't even bother researching nbomes any further as that adds to the obsession.

All the unknowns are what's making me quite upset about it. I just don't wanna get schizophrenic because of a single fault. Don't even know much about the mechanism of work of NBOMe's in the brain and honestly, I don't think about it much but what's getting at me is , the aftermath. The long-term consequences. I feel like I gotta flush this out with psychedelics and try to see the odds.

 

[pupnik]

you are just finding another way to obsess on the same thing, it wont be good.

 

[Vediog]

So the logic is you need more drugs to fix the other drugs?

Time and distance are going be the best course of action.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

It wasn't a single weed use, it was hundreds of uses over a few years many of which were traumatizing. Weed is not as mild as people say, it can be intensely psychedelic. Underestimating weed while you are in this condition could be a huge mistake on your part, so tread lightly.

You won't go schizophrenic from using psychedelics unless you were already going to get schizophrenia, in which case it'll just speed up the process.

Again, move on from this. Keep living your life and trying your best, stay away from mind altering substances until your mind is in a better state.

Unfortunately there's no quick fix for an experience like this. Time is your best chance to reverse this.

 

[Xorkoth]

Agreed, even if you DID damage yourself permanently, there's nothing you can do about it now, and worrying about it and obsessing about it will make you unable to move on and adapt.

 

[5ht2Antogonist]

So the logic is you need more drugs to fix the other drugs?

Time and distance are going be the best course of action.

I know it might not be the best approach but in fact, yes I do think that applying some sort of psychedelic therapy systematically to someone who's suffering the after-effects of a substance may actually help.

Again, a compound caused this (maybe I was prone) also a compound can revert this.

 

[mountainrange]

Hey 5ht2Antogonist,
You are definetly not alone when talking about taking LSD and it end up being something else. It happens to LOTS of people and it's not your fault, or perhaps not even your friend's fault so rest assured this is not an isolated case. I once got some acid and I later found out after an hour or so later I was having an altogether completely different experience - I had been given an NBOMe. I only had one tab, the bitterness came to me instantly and particuarly the numbing sensation which I found odd but without prior knowledge of NBOMe (like most people who are often victims when they are caught uanware) I carried on. I just embraced the experience although it was frightening at times, I knew even whilst high that I wasn't high on LSD and I just reminded myself that it would be over. Fortunetly, I didn't come away with any long lasting side effects, probably because I didn't take the other blotter and decided to just take it as advertised at 180ug (which was probably 1000ug of NBOMe). I did feel a bit strange for a few days afterwards and I can see how such an experience can scar you.

The best advice I can give you is to;
- Test ALL your substances in the future!
- Do your research prior to taking a new substance
- Educate your friends who may be as blind to the reality of fake LSD as you might of once been
- Don't take anything if you are not sure of it's source/purity/legitimacy

Fortunetly for most and be assured here, LSD that is sold as such comes as LSD. If you take it back only a few years ago and even further back than that, you'd of been lucky to of obtained real Lucy unless you were involved with people who knew people who knew the people that made it. Today it's different and I think this can be attributed to the surge in quality drugs being offered on dark net markets and the decentralised privacy it provides, the availability of high quality acid has gone through the roof since dark net markets became a big thing, drugs go through there relatively unaltered by current drug policies and authorities, and with the presence of said dark net markets, people are getting their stash online which is cutting out most of the dangers that come with searching for and obtaining street acid as with any drug off of the street. That being said, there are still many people searching in the dark when it comes to LSD and return with what they believe is LSD and well, obviously, turns out not to be the case.

This is where drug testing comes in. And this is VERY important. LSD will show up as a purple colour, anything else that is not an indole which includes any NBOMe will not react to the test. The result should then speak for itself. You can buy test kits as I'm sure you are aware on the internet for a decent price and for the price of your life - it's well worth it considering the real dangers today. Another solution is to get your stash tested by a legitimate drug testing company, these usually work in their own private labratories and offer services to members of the public for a fee, these fees depend on the service you use and you usually get a result back within a week or two. This method is by far the most effective at determining the contents and in most cases, the purity of your acid but the price is what catches most people out, that and, sending drugs in the post. Such companies are Energy Control and Ecstasy Data being the two top organisations running drug testing services.

As for the experience, I know it's hard in these situations because you want to look back and change things. The reality is, you can't change what has already happened to you. You can only move forward and you are recovering which, is all that counts right now! Don't sweat it. The more you try to linger on the experience, the more you will be consumed by it. Some good tools to use in these situations is meditation and CBT. Both work wonders with anxiety based symptoms. That and just going about your daily life just like you did before you took the drug. Stay away from all drugs until you have recovered from the experience, it's normal to get side effects from taking psychedelic drugs especially if they affect you in the least expected ways or maybe affect you in ways you did expect but could not control as such. There is such a thing as being able to recover from traumatic experiences whilst taking psychedelics by prying back open the mind and going back in to fix things, many people do this but you have to know what you are doing and or at least at the minimum, what to expect from the experience and because you haven't even tried LSD before (only NBOMe) you don't even know what you will feel like when you do take real acid. Saying that, it's best to just give everything a break for now. You can always come back at a later date if you so wish and do extensive research into LSD and perhaps find a better source.

The key is to just move on. There isn't much else you can do.
If you are to take LSD again, make sure that it is LSD. Don't trust anybody but yourself. You are playing with your own mind here and when things happen like this, it makes sense to learn from it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Just look after yourself, be around good friends, be in good environments that nourish you emotionally and mentally and take it easy. Resume your life and stop trying to look back, there is nothing you can do but to move on forward

Some notes that may be handy for you:
- LSD under UV light glows, NBOMe does not glow
- LSD provides a metallic taste when on the tongue, NBOMe provides a bitter taste
- As previously stated, LSD will show up purple on a Elrich drug test whereas NBOMe will show no colour reaction at all
- NBOMe can be only be ingested buccally (through the cheek or gums, much like LSD) and also insufflated (snorted) BUT NOT orally, as it's not active orally if you just swallow it without allowing the chemical to enter your body unlike LSD which can be orally ingested and still be active

Good luck with your recovery and hope I helped