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July Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs. "Fireworks and Toss your Works"

Happy birthday toothpaste, I'll turn 27 in January, time has just flown by after turning 25. Good luck in grad school too, I just applied to Holistic Counseling grad school, fingers crossed I get accepted for the Fall semester. What're you applying for for grad school?
 
Less than that for me :)

Or are you speaking of plans for a vascectomy? ;)
 
At the risk of oversharing, I gotta say that getting a vasectomy was one of the best choices I ever made. No kids! Ever! ;)
 
Do you have kids? I am thinking about doing a vasectomy, I am glad I am doing this now rather than earlier. When I wasn't planning on having Kids anymore I was seduced with the idea of having my youngest. I am glad it happened. I wonder if I would have done a procedure to reverse the vasectomy if I had done it beforehand.
 
Erikmen said:
Do you have kids? I am thinking about doing a vasectomy, I am glad I am doing this now rather than earlier. When I wasn't planning on having Kids anymore I was seduced with the idea of having my youngest. I am glad it happened. I wonder if I would have done a procedure to reverse the vasectomy if I had done it beforehand.
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Nope. No kids. But I've known my whole life that I wouldn't have any; same with my wife. I'm afraid I'm constitutionally unfit for having children...just my own shit...I'm very happy for folks who have a loving family.

For me the best (non-carnal) thing about getting the vasectomy was that it took the whole issue of kids off the table. Neither my wife nor I wanted to start a family. But we were getting pressure from our parents and some friends to do it anyway. We even second-guessed ourselves from time to time, wondering "what's wrong with us? Maybe we're being selfish by not procreating." When I finally made the leap, that all went away.
 
Thanks to a hack fertility doctor, for many years I was left with the erroneous idea that I shot blanks when it was really my ex's endometriosis that she didn't even know about until she had to have a hysterectomy. I would have liked to have had children while my father was still alive - I think he would have really enjoyed being a grandfather, but he's since passed on. Both my ex and I came from highly dysfunctional families so not really knowing what a good parent is, I'm not sure I could have been one myself. As for the carnal thing, a friend that I still keep in touch with from my AA days (he has two online dating accounts and it's like a half-time job for him) asked me if I missed sex and I told him I probably miss the idea of it, but I don't miss what I had to go through to get it.
 
simco said:
Nope. No kids. But I've known my whole life that I wouldn't have any; same with my wife. I'm afraid I'm constitutionally unfit for having children...just my own shit...I'm very happy for folks who have a loving family.

For me the best (non-carnal) thing about getting the vasectomy was that it took the whole issue of kids off the table. Neither my wife nor I wanted to start a family. But we were getting pressure from our parents and some friends to do it anyway. We even second-guessed ourselves from time to time, wondering "what's wrong with us? Maybe we're being selfish by not procreating." When I finally made the leap, that all went away.
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I understand. We were also under a lot of pressure to have kids. It's annoying sometimes. My wife and I had an agreement to wait for 3-5 years. I didn't want to have kids anymore, but after a while every single friend of ours have had theirs and I think that at some point we'd start to think more about it and decided to try. We did wait for more than 3 years, we wanted to enjoy the free time as a couple as much as we could. Life is much more difficult when we have kids although I was a lot happier when we had them. They are everything to me. It's like seeing the best version of yourself.
 
I had a real messed up childhood and took kids off the table at a young age. In my 50's now and still no regrets. Third marriage and I know I made the right decision.

R13
 
feeling all right today. not perfect but every bit of partial happiness counts. I hope you all are well <3
 
I'm sooo freaking happy my 23 days of withdrawals are over. I could dance in the street right now. Life is good again. :)

R13
 
Congrats R13! It's a great feeling indeed. Make sure you exercise and find things you like to do. Hobbies are excellent for recovery.
Keep up with the great work! :)
 
One week sober :)
I am pretty afraid that cravings are on their way to f*ck my mind again :(
 
Kahuna said:
I am pretty afraid that cravings are on their way to f*ck my mind again :(
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Welcome to life. As you try different strategies and make your way along you'll figure out effective ways of dealing with them until, eventually, they're a total non-issue.

For know, stay busy, keep your head up, and doing whatever you need to do for yourself. It's only a matter of time until things settle for you.
 
If the cravings are really tough live one hour at a time, then postpone it for few hours until you can live one day at a time. I believe that cravings alone don't last that much, so if you can avoid it for the moment you'll see it's going to pass. It's part of the process, you can do this! :)
 
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