Sorry this might be a bit of a novel, thank you in advance for those of you who make it through and offer advice. I hope I dont come across as smug or stupid, its not my intent at all.
This evening I tried Heroin via IV for the first time. I have tried Heroin a few times in my life, smoking it and snorting it when I was MUCH younger, but I never really got "off" on it.
I had 2 friends die from it, my brother is an ex addict and my best friend has been a full blown addict for 20 years (Im 39). This may seem stupid to some of you, but to be honest, I had to know what it was like... What is so great about it that people give everything up or risk death.
Outside of tonight I have been sober for 4 years. When I was 15-22 I did almost every drug, stopping at 22, then drinking (not heavily) from 22-35.
To be frank, I didnt enjoy it at all. I found the rush too intense, I didnt like the ear popping feeling, I was feeling sick, I was very dizzy and I didnt like being on the couch for 4 hours doing nothing but nodding off. I found towards the end of the buzz it was more enjoyable once the dizzyness and nausea went away and I was listening to some Bitches Brew, but still not the OMFG I was expecting. I feel satisfied knowing I tried it though and have a slightly better understanding of it.
Now Im scared of becoming an addict (stupid I know) after reading a few threads around here and other sites... I think I am just looking for reassurance. When I was young I did quite a bit of blow and stopped immediately once I realized I was "craving" it rather than just using casually. I did the same with drinking, when I found myself craving a drink 4 years ago, I just stopped doing it. I was once prescribed oxy for a kidney stone and while I really enjoyed the buzz, I was able to easily toss the pills in the garbage, even though I sort of wanted to use the rest of them (I passed the stone). I also stopped smoking cold turkey when my daughter was born, so I think I have a pretty good track record when it comes to being in control, but people say H is much worse. My friend who I used with offered me more and I told him I didnt want it.
I also enjoy being sober very much and dont miss the life of getting high. I have a really great life and my hobbies and my family are better than any drug I have tried.
Am I gonna ruin my life?
Will I have withdrawal from trying it once?
Will I have a hangover from it?
Thanks so much for your time.
This evening I tried Heroin via IV for the first time. I have tried Heroin a few times in my life, smoking it and snorting it when I was MUCH younger, but I never really got "off" on it.
I had 2 friends die from it, my brother is an ex addict and my best friend has been a full blown addict for 20 years (Im 39). This may seem stupid to some of you, but to be honest, I had to know what it was like... What is so great about it that people give everything up or risk death.
Outside of tonight I have been sober for 4 years. When I was 15-22 I did almost every drug, stopping at 22, then drinking (not heavily) from 22-35.
To be frank, I didnt enjoy it at all. I found the rush too intense, I didnt like the ear popping feeling, I was feeling sick, I was very dizzy and I didnt like being on the couch for 4 hours doing nothing but nodding off. I found towards the end of the buzz it was more enjoyable once the dizzyness and nausea went away and I was listening to some Bitches Brew, but still not the OMFG I was expecting. I feel satisfied knowing I tried it though and have a slightly better understanding of it.
Now Im scared of becoming an addict (stupid I know) after reading a few threads around here and other sites... I think I am just looking for reassurance. When I was young I did quite a bit of blow and stopped immediately once I realized I was "craving" it rather than just using casually. I did the same with drinking, when I found myself craving a drink 4 years ago, I just stopped doing it. I was once prescribed oxy for a kidney stone and while I really enjoyed the buzz, I was able to easily toss the pills in the garbage, even though I sort of wanted to use the rest of them (I passed the stone). I also stopped smoking cold turkey when my daughter was born, so I think I have a pretty good track record when it comes to being in control, but people say H is much worse. My friend who I used with offered me more and I told him I didnt want it.
I also enjoy being sober very much and dont miss the life of getting high. I have a really great life and my hobbies and my family are better than any drug I have tried.
Am I gonna ruin my life?
Will I have withdrawal from trying it once?
Will I have a hangover from it?
Thanks so much for your time.