Detoxing off the dope for about the 50th time! Help, I'm scared (again)!

[Dope Girl]

Hey all, I am laying down just thinking about how fucked up this is. I am a general opiate addict (I've done about 8 years of pills, Methdose, Oxys, Norco, whatever I could get my hands on). I am a college educated mother of two boys, and just cannot stay off any off this stuff. My last run was on black, and has lasted about a year, ending at 1.5 Gs per day. I have lost everything to this stuff. I used to be successful and healthy, and now I feel like an old junkie that has not much to live for. My kids still come around, but I never have enough money to take them out to great places anymore because I spend it all on dope. I can't hold a job, as I am either trying not to use and too sick to work, or nodding out. I have few friends and not much of a life left.
Ok, so I decided to detox again. I live alone, and have been taking Immodium, Valium, and a bit of Suboxzon that I had from the last time I did this.It is not enough, and I am sweating/chills, weak, restless, and mentally crawling the walls. I don't have the money to get more Subs. I am on day three and getting more and more anxious as the day goes by. Can anyone tell me about their experience on kicking this shit? Some tips? I have been talking and texring with friends but it saps the life out of me. I hear the outside world out there, and it feels like I will never be off this bed again, ever. Thank you, and God Bless to any responders. I promise to update my progress. Of course the connect called yesterday, and if I didn't smell. look and feel so bad, I probably would have gone to see him. Another problem: I have a good connect that is kind of a friend, always comes when I call and will front me big. Thanks you guys! Dope Girl

 

[heychristinac]

I am praying for u hun. Im wishing u ALL THE BEST VIBES POSSIBLE. How have you been since your post? Im hoping u have maintained, but dont be ashamed if u havent. It is not an easy beast to fight!
What u are using is about the best you're gonna get to help thru WDs, the only other thing to look into wld possibly be gabapentins. Rmbr, we didnt get into this mess in a day, we can't expect to get out in a day.
As for the "friend". I have one too. rmbr, they're connects, not friends. A friend wld do everything to help u get up and over to the other side of this, not give u dope. Plz dont misunderstand, I have completely been there and dont think I ever made it to day 3 b4 caving. It was always one type of opiate or another. Atm, I recently am out of work (actually, shocker, nothing to do w my addiction this time) but now I depend on one sub to get me thru the week. My husband is 4 yrs clean and hates my using. We were going to the methadone clinic for about 8 yrs on n off. I thought it was a godsend whrn doing it. Had all the typical addict justifications... its better than dope/its legal/ its a lot cheaper/ etc. Now I know I was just getting hi as shit. But he also understands how awful the sic is and knows that he cant force sobriety on me but wld rather see me take a pc of sub than do dope. And w subs, a user just feels well, not hi. The problem is, my sister recently got out of jail and has started using a bit here n there and since she has no source she comes to me. So I've been using again. I was doing pretty good there for a while too.
Anyways, I hope to see an update soon. 3 (possibly more) days is a lot, something to be proud of.