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Husband says he likes it "when I'm loose"????

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UnicornPuddles

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 23, 2017
Messages
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So this is come up a few times in the recent past while on drug and alcohol fueled Marathon sex romp. He said something to the effect of "Are you clenching? You know, sometimes I like it when you relax and you're looser."

Hubby has an average...maybe less than average sized penis (which I love and would never call small) so there's been times, after lots of sex where I wonder how much he is getting out of it because I don't feel very tight ..so I utilize my kegels...more for him than for me. As I said, I'm satisfied. Just the usual anxiety about what he's feeling.

TO MY ACTUAL QUESTION!

Is this a thing? Do some guys like this? I don't think he's got a fetish about loose gaping vaginas or anything...just not sure why he would encourage me to "let loose" my vaginal muscles. I asked him but I don't think I got more than "I dunno, it feels good?"
 
Perhaps he can tell you're clenching on purpose and not focusing on enjoying the experience fully yourself? Yes, you love to please him but guess who also enjoys pleasing you.. ;)
 
sounds to me like you're making an issue out of something that's not an issue?

alasdair
 
perhaps i am...i just thought it was the opposite of what is usually expected (i hear my guy friends talk ;p)

i'm obviously fixated on it..but it's because it doesn't make sense to me. like when he says relax, he doesn't mean be normal, he means REALLY go loose. it's odd. i enjoy it, and there's no apprehension...it just seems strange and i thought i'd get some insight and see if he's not the only one that wants a sloppy bucket to fuck hahahaha
 
Perhaps the sloppy bucket just feels nicer. There's really nothing wrong with that you know. Forget the stuff you read in women's mags.
 
UnicornPuddles said:
perhaps i am...i just thought it was the opposite of what is usually expected (i hear my guy friends talk ;p)

i'm obviously fixated on it..but it's because it doesn't make sense to me. like when he says relax, he doesn't mean be normal, he means REALLY go loose. it's odd. i enjoy it, and there's no apprehension...it just seems strange and i thought i'd get some insight and see if he's not the only one that wants a sloppy bucket to fuck hahahaha
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Aww.. sloppy bucket?? I'm sure he doesn't think that at all! It sounds to me like you're a little insecure hun. He can probably tell that you're worried about it. He wants you to relax, be "loose", and have fun! Don't worry about silly things like tightness. :) You're beautfiul and he loves you. He loves banging you too, OBVIOUSLY.
 
I'm not insecure about my body at all.. just can't stop thinking about a man who says I'm super tight and how much he loves it would occasionally ask me to get as loose as possible
 
You're obsessing about something that doesn't seem like a big deal. You mentioned that he'll ask if you're clenching? and then ask you to relax? He can tell when you're trying to tighten up? Maybe it's the clenching he doesn't like because he wants you to relax?
 
Maybe mix it and see how he responds. I know you can figure this out with him. Clenching definitely has its place in achieving sexual bliss.

I like it relaxed especially on the in-stroke. Gripping on the way out can compliment this nicely. Just gotta pay attention to his reactions.

Also after some relaxed vaginal penetration, letting him pause full hilt and so you can clench and release in succession is a cool trick. Works real well if he is hittIng it from behind or the side (if you are laying down at least partially on your side with the bottom leg extended and the top leg sticking out to the side with the knee pulled up towards your torso; this is also an awesome position for deepest penetration). Sometimes I challenge my partner to make me cum soley using vaginal contractions while I enjoy the bliss of her wet, deep, soft velvet love glove.

TL;DR
Trial and error with communication is your best for total mutual satisfaction.

*Edit*One thing about hitting from the side, If you two have not done it before, is that it will feel tight to him but in a totally new way; I guess it is the geometry of penetration. You might even want a little extra lube if you find the tightness uncomfortable.

...the point is variety is the spice of life and some varieties are better than others. You just have to both be committed to the success of quest.
 
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This is...a startling contrast to a thread post I was considering asking in regards to breaking up with my girlfriend because she's too loose. Wow, well, you must already be legitimately tight, therefore clenching probably makes it feel more numb/painful to him. That's the only scenario I can think of where being tighter is a problem for the guy. I wish my girlfriend's vagina would make my penis hurt and numb, but unfortunately it bores me...greatly. And no, it's not me that's the problem, as I am average and I've dated other women of all heights, shapes, and sizes who felt fantastic. Granted, my girlfriend did tell me her ex-boyfriend was about 6'8. Is it possible he just did unrepairable damage down there to her? Do you think it would be a jerk thing for me to break up with a girl because the sex wasn't great? She's amazing in every other category a man could ask for though. She's beautiful, smart, independent, funny, and astonishingly forgiving...honestly the only flaw she has is that she's just not pleasing in bed. I am the type of guy that requires a positive sexual connection in order to feel passionately about the person I am with. What are your thoughts?
 
Personally, I prefer a loose vagina. I don't know that I'm in a distinct minority, but I've always felt that I am. I truly believe a loose vagina feels better. Part of it is also probably mental. I like a "loose" woman. I want to date a woman who's slept with lots of guys. I find that sexy. Also, they generally come with fewer hangups. One of my best relationships was with a former heroin addict and Baltimore hooker. My friends thought I was out of my mind, but she was great, open-minded, and the sex was out-of-this-world.
 
More - and better- sensation for the guy when she is loose, IMO.

I'd like that even if I were more typical in my preferences other ways (I am into promiscuous partners, strong scent, etc.)
 
Mr husband is a big fan of me having a loose vagina. When I meet him I was very tight and as a result he would finished quite quickly. One day I made the simple comment “well at least it’s tight” he said yea I thought I would say this but it to tight babe it’s get the job done to effectively. I love my husband so said if you think it’s not to your liking then do what you need to do to fix because I want you to enjoy it. 10 years later my vagina is very different and much more to his liking. It’s really a challenge to have the big “o” from just penetration these days but women know penetration is not the only way to “O” town. Now days it takes hubby almost to long to finish but he is happy and that’s fine with me. I guess the moral to the stories is if your partner likes it just go with it. Also my advice is if your man likes it loose stop trying extract and orgasm from him by force by using our fancy muscles and just relax and enjoy the process.
 
"while on drug and alcohol fueled Marathon sex romp."

I think that's a key part of the story here we are not discussing. If real hard banging is the plan, you want the lady to be has relaxed as possible.

He is probably using this as a gauge for how ready your are for rough sex.
 
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