LiveALittle
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2017
- Messages
- 9
Hello everyone on this beautiful forum/message board (What's the correct term?) !
I'm a 21 year old male from Holland.
First off, I want to thank every (no longer) active member of this site.. You all probably have no clue how much you've helped me those times when I was paranoid that I had overdosed on a certain stimulant, or that a certain combo of uppers and downers was about to kill me. Reading how 'veteran' drug users tell how it's common to have certain (negative) side-effects, and not to worry about it, was always the greatest relieve. Kept me from calling an ambulance on myself without it being necessary.
Since I was 15 up till most of my 19th year, I was an 'weed and liquor only' type of kid, I looked down on people using hard drugs, yet at the same time, I was so addicted to weed that if I didn't have a spliff right before bed, I would lay awake literally all night, and if I didn't have one before leaving the house in the morning, I'd have a fucked up day.. I was one of those 'weed isn't a drug' type of hippies, and tbh looking back at it makes me cringe so hard.
Well all that went on until I went to University.. Maaaan a world full of drugs opened up to me, and literally EVERYBODY was doing it, and they seemed to be able to keep the dependence/addictions at bay perfectly, so I started thinking hmmm maybe hard drugs aren't even that evil and dangerous when treated with respect. Started out with the 'lighter' stuff, amphetamine sulphate, MDMA/XTC and such. When when I convinced myself I was able to stay in control of the drugs, and not let the drugs control me (keep in mind I was still very addicted to cannabis at this point, and still oblivious to it), I started joining my friends taking a line of coke every few saturdays, or popping Xanax, or smoking H on tin foil. Eventually when I got brave enough I tried a couple different psychedelics with my best friend (who has always been I fell in love with all those drugs and their effects, the way they changed my mindset. All of a sudden, there were weekends where I did not smoke ANY weed at all, which hadn't happened in a couple years.
That's when I realised how my weed 'addiction' wasn't really an addiction, it was just me trying to look for something 'more' than the kind of high weed gives.. And I had thought for 4 years, that I could achieve that by smoking/vaping/eating more and more and more weed everyday..
Suddenly I had no trouble not touching weed.. Didn't even need to keep motivating myself or anything; the thought that I would be getting some crazy, way harder substance for the weekend completely overpowered the cravings for smoking weed..
TL;DR: Unlike the general consensus regarding weed being a gateway drug, for me it worked the other way around.. Weed wasn't a gateway drug for me, I found the gateway to the other drugs regardless off weed, and it helped me finally quit weed.
Reading it through once more, it probably sounds like a load of bullcrap.. And possibly nobody might give a fuck about it.. But I just got a great batch of amphetamine sulphate for the weekend (university has ended for the summer so I allowed myself to already start using on Thursday for once), and I just have to talk to someone about something, and for my upper-infused brain, even posting stuff on an online forum counts as talking to someone about something haha..
Anyway, Hi Bluelight.org, I have just registrered but loved you ever since I started doing drugs!
EDIT: Now that I've come down and back to my senses again, I realise what a verbal diarrhea the above text really is..
I'm sorry for anybody who wasted her/his time on reading it and trying to understand it.. I was soo high.. probably shouldn't have written and uploaded that while having been Ice Skating for over 36 hours.. hahah good first impression I'm leaving behind here
I'm a 21 year old male from Holland.
First off, I want to thank every (no longer) active member of this site.. You all probably have no clue how much you've helped me those times when I was paranoid that I had overdosed on a certain stimulant, or that a certain combo of uppers and downers was about to kill me. Reading how 'veteran' drug users tell how it's common to have certain (negative) side-effects, and not to worry about it, was always the greatest relieve. Kept me from calling an ambulance on myself without it being necessary.
Since I was 15 up till most of my 19th year, I was an 'weed and liquor only' type of kid, I looked down on people using hard drugs, yet at the same time, I was so addicted to weed that if I didn't have a spliff right before bed, I would lay awake literally all night, and if I didn't have one before leaving the house in the morning, I'd have a fucked up day.. I was one of those 'weed isn't a drug' type of hippies, and tbh looking back at it makes me cringe so hard.
Well all that went on until I went to University.. Maaaan a world full of drugs opened up to me, and literally EVERYBODY was doing it, and they seemed to be able to keep the dependence/addictions at bay perfectly, so I started thinking hmmm maybe hard drugs aren't even that evil and dangerous when treated with respect. Started out with the 'lighter' stuff, amphetamine sulphate, MDMA/XTC and such. When when I convinced myself I was able to stay in control of the drugs, and not let the drugs control me (keep in mind I was still very addicted to cannabis at this point, and still oblivious to it), I started joining my friends taking a line of coke every few saturdays, or popping Xanax, or smoking H on tin foil. Eventually when I got brave enough I tried a couple different psychedelics with my best friend (who has always been I fell in love with all those drugs and their effects, the way they changed my mindset. All of a sudden, there were weekends where I did not smoke ANY weed at all, which hadn't happened in a couple years.
That's when I realised how my weed 'addiction' wasn't really an addiction, it was just me trying to look for something 'more' than the kind of high weed gives.. And I had thought for 4 years, that I could achieve that by smoking/vaping/eating more and more and more weed everyday..
Suddenly I had no trouble not touching weed.. Didn't even need to keep motivating myself or anything; the thought that I would be getting some crazy, way harder substance for the weekend completely overpowered the cravings for smoking weed..
TL;DR: Unlike the general consensus regarding weed being a gateway drug, for me it worked the other way around.. Weed wasn't a gateway drug for me, I found the gateway to the other drugs regardless off weed, and it helped me finally quit weed.
Reading it through once more, it probably sounds like a load of bullcrap.. And possibly nobody might give a fuck about it.. But I just got a great batch of amphetamine sulphate for the weekend (university has ended for the summer so I allowed myself to already start using on Thursday for once), and I just have to talk to someone about something, and for my upper-infused brain, even posting stuff on an online forum counts as talking to someone about something haha..
Anyway, Hi Bluelight.org, I have just registrered but loved you ever since I started doing drugs!
EDIT: Now that I've come down and back to my senses again, I realise what a verbal diarrhea the above text really is..
I'm sorry for anybody who wasted her/his time on reading it and trying to understand it.. I was soo high.. probably shouldn't have written and uploaded that while having been Ice Skating for over 36 hours.. hahah good first impression I'm leaving behind here
Last edited: