Transcendence
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Messages
- 2,505
I know many here have in the past and currently do use ketamine in a non-recreational way to alleviate severe treatment resistant depression. Jamshyd (Rest in Peace my friend) was among the first people I know of to document his usage extensively and raise awareness on the promise that ketamine has as the most effective antidepressant available for many people. I used ketamine once recreationally and enjoyed it, but was more interested in using it as a medication. However, research has indicated that even though it can be used as a nasal spray or IM for psychiatric use, slow IV infusion is far more efficacious. Even with access to pure ketamine, I'm not comfortable using needles on myself and obviously do not have access to a medical infusion pump.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, but it reached a peak a couple years ago after my son died and I had tried nearly every SSRI, SNRI, TCA, remeron, buproprion, light therapy, nootropics, psychology, dozens of doctors and dozens of medications in 3 different states and nothing worked. I always gave the drugs a chance and after the 12th SSRI alone it was clear that waiting another 8 weeks to feel nothing but worse wasn't going to work. I thought it was hopeless. Already prescribed daily benzos and Lyrica just for anxiety, I found myself more depressed, out of shape, hopeless than ever. I considered giving up and falling into daily opiate use because I didn't care if I lived or died.
When I moved to Arizona 2 years ago, I knew that the only thing that could work immediately and have a lasting effect was ketamine. Sure, morphine or amphetamine are also effective anti-depressents but it's an artificial happiness that only lasts as long as the drug itself and isn't sustainable. I am also prescribed dexedrine IR & ER and dexmethylphenidate IR for reasons I won't go into here, but suffice to say they control my anxiety better than 40mg of diazepam per day combined with Lyrica does. I found a high profile psychiatrist who realized that I was misdiagnosed and had paradoxical reactions towards many drugs. I had no interest in taking stimulants daily but thankfully my anxiety is under control for the first time in over a decade. My depression however seemed inescapable.
So 18 months ago I traveled to Phoenix, AZ and received a series of 4 infusions of IV ketamine over the course of a week in one hour sessions, administered by an anesthesiologist (actually one of the first 2 or 3 in the world to open a clinic for ketamine therapy to treat depression, bipolar, OCD, and chronic pain). My GP and psychiatrist were intrigued and encouraged it. It was expensive, but as I predicted, startling effective. I felt like I did when I was 12. I stopped waking up to constant negative and self-effacing thoughts. For three weeks following the treatments, I was able to believe that today might not be a bad day, and even love myself. It was like stepping through the looking glass and living in a reflection of the world. Nothing changed except for the perspective reversed.
[However, due to the financial burden (not covered by insurance and very expensive), I couldn't continue the maintenance. I couldn't drive two hours every week and miss work while paying more than I earned as a teacher. So after a month post-stabilization, I sank back into depression that was at least as severe.]
~-_-~
This month the clinic branched out to Tucson, only 15 minutes from my home. As an established patient I paid a lower rate and could schedule treatments at any time. I received another round of stabilization, titrating to a higher dose each time. I ended up receiving the maximum dose administered (1.5mg per kg) because benzos block the effects and I am physically dependent on them, as well as having a high natural tolerance to most drugs anyway. I opted for four stabilization treatments (could have opted for 6). And I'm following through on the Maintanence schedule. Maintenance is one session 7 days post stabilization (treatment 5), one 14 days later (treatment 6), and then one session monthly for one year. After a year of treatment most patients have successful results with only two to four treatments per year.
Once again it has been successful so far, restoring my will to live and optimism for my future with no negative side-effects besides sleep pattern disturbance. I have weaned off Lyrica nearly completely, so I'm hoping that will also help reduce depression. The difference between now and 18 months ago medically is that I am now prescribed daily stimulants. It is not clear to me, my psychiatrist, or my anesthesiologist whether the stimulants will have a positive, neutral, or negative impact on the treatments. It seems to me like they prevent some dissociative effects during the actual treatment (not surprisingly), but what is unclear to all of us is whether it will interfere negatively or positively with brain plasticity / receptor regeneration that is the long-term goal of the treatment.
I know it is rare, but I'm wondering if there is a chance anyone else here is currently or has in the past been administered ketamine for depression by an actual doctor? How was it administered, and how did you respond? As far as I know, there are centers in Arizona, Massachusetts, Florida, New York, and I think only one other state (CA?). Protocols differ. Other than that I only know of clinical trials. It seems clear to myself as a biochemist and every doctor involved that the serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine theory of depression is misguided, and that NMDA receptor action is probably the key toward a medication that is clearly more effective than placebo. We have hope of a similarly targeted medication for depression to gain FDA approval by 2020 that can be taken orally at home and covered by health insurance. Until then, it would be amazing to find an online support group for this.
I am happy to answer any questions or provide resources for anyone interested in the therapy or specifics. I'm hoping to connect with other patients, since we are so few.
Peace, Love, & Under Recovery
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, but it reached a peak a couple years ago after my son died and I had tried nearly every SSRI, SNRI, TCA, remeron, buproprion, light therapy, nootropics, psychology, dozens of doctors and dozens of medications in 3 different states and nothing worked. I always gave the drugs a chance and after the 12th SSRI alone it was clear that waiting another 8 weeks to feel nothing but worse wasn't going to work. I thought it was hopeless. Already prescribed daily benzos and Lyrica just for anxiety, I found myself more depressed, out of shape, hopeless than ever. I considered giving up and falling into daily opiate use because I didn't care if I lived or died.
When I moved to Arizona 2 years ago, I knew that the only thing that could work immediately and have a lasting effect was ketamine. Sure, morphine or amphetamine are also effective anti-depressents but it's an artificial happiness that only lasts as long as the drug itself and isn't sustainable. I am also prescribed dexedrine IR & ER and dexmethylphenidate IR for reasons I won't go into here, but suffice to say they control my anxiety better than 40mg of diazepam per day combined with Lyrica does. I found a high profile psychiatrist who realized that I was misdiagnosed and had paradoxical reactions towards many drugs. I had no interest in taking stimulants daily but thankfully my anxiety is under control for the first time in over a decade. My depression however seemed inescapable.
So 18 months ago I traveled to Phoenix, AZ and received a series of 4 infusions of IV ketamine over the course of a week in one hour sessions, administered by an anesthesiologist (actually one of the first 2 or 3 in the world to open a clinic for ketamine therapy to treat depression, bipolar, OCD, and chronic pain). My GP and psychiatrist were intrigued and encouraged it. It was expensive, but as I predicted, startling effective. I felt like I did when I was 12. I stopped waking up to constant negative and self-effacing thoughts. For three weeks following the treatments, I was able to believe that today might not be a bad day, and even love myself. It was like stepping through the looking glass and living in a reflection of the world. Nothing changed except for the perspective reversed.
[However, due to the financial burden (not covered by insurance and very expensive), I couldn't continue the maintenance. I couldn't drive two hours every week and miss work while paying more than I earned as a teacher. So after a month post-stabilization, I sank back into depression that was at least as severe.]
~-_-~
This month the clinic branched out to Tucson, only 15 minutes from my home. As an established patient I paid a lower rate and could schedule treatments at any time. I received another round of stabilization, titrating to a higher dose each time. I ended up receiving the maximum dose administered (1.5mg per kg) because benzos block the effects and I am physically dependent on them, as well as having a high natural tolerance to most drugs anyway. I opted for four stabilization treatments (could have opted for 6). And I'm following through on the Maintanence schedule. Maintenance is one session 7 days post stabilization (treatment 5), one 14 days later (treatment 6), and then one session monthly for one year. After a year of treatment most patients have successful results with only two to four treatments per year.
Once again it has been successful so far, restoring my will to live and optimism for my future with no negative side-effects besides sleep pattern disturbance. I have weaned off Lyrica nearly completely, so I'm hoping that will also help reduce depression. The difference between now and 18 months ago medically is that I am now prescribed daily stimulants. It is not clear to me, my psychiatrist, or my anesthesiologist whether the stimulants will have a positive, neutral, or negative impact on the treatments. It seems to me like they prevent some dissociative effects during the actual treatment (not surprisingly), but what is unclear to all of us is whether it will interfere negatively or positively with brain plasticity / receptor regeneration that is the long-term goal of the treatment.
I know it is rare, but I'm wondering if there is a chance anyone else here is currently or has in the past been administered ketamine for depression by an actual doctor? How was it administered, and how did you respond? As far as I know, there are centers in Arizona, Massachusetts, Florida, New York, and I think only one other state (CA?). Protocols differ. Other than that I only know of clinical trials. It seems clear to myself as a biochemist and every doctor involved that the serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine theory of depression is misguided, and that NMDA receptor action is probably the key toward a medication that is clearly more effective than placebo. We have hope of a similarly targeted medication for depression to gain FDA approval by 2020 that can be taken orally at home and covered by health insurance. Until then, it would be amazing to find an online support group for this.
I am happy to answer any questions or provide resources for anyone interested in the therapy or specifics. I'm hoping to connect with other patients, since we are so few.
Peace, Love, & Under Recovery
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