Losing a friend to LSD?

[jamesr13]

Abstract: One of my dearest best friends of 6 years (my first friend at college), basically just texted me saying we should go our separate ways out of the blue. He does more acid than anyone I know, and I'm wondering if this is normal for someone who does a lot of acid...

I really want to help him, he's a life homie for me. I need advice.

--

Our friendship has been nothing short of awesome - we have been on trips together, studied together, stayed in each others' houses when visiting. In fact, it's one of those friendships without any tension. 99% of what we talk about is technology / music related, both of our favorite subjects. As a background, we both went to the same top 10 university and this guy is nothing short of a genius.

After college I decided to go down the music path, and I got lucky and am making a living off writing music and touring. He decided to go down the technology route and is killing his current job. We live fairly close and talk a few times a week.

Personally, acid inspired me to 'do my own thing' in the music industry, which is leading to my growing success. I've done it a fair amount (10 trips?), but never more than once a month.

My friend has tripped probably 50-100 times in a couple years, and he has had similar realizations about his life and job.

...But in the last year or so, I've watched him slowly become less and less of himself. He got rid of all social media, got rid of wifi, reads in all of his free time, and works. He lives in a constant flowstate, which I totally respect! But I don't think he hangs out with many of his friends anymore. I've noticed he looks at his phone once a day (therefore responds once a day). Also most of the media he has been sending me is Alan Watts speeches.

Well tonight he texted me that "something slipped" in his present life and that it feels there is only room for this "abstract future." He needs to focus 99.9% on the present, and for the sake of his creativity, he must go to the source and "find the thing that started it again." Apparently, this entails that we cannot be friends anymore and must go our separate ways.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Do you think this could be caused by too much acid? Mind you this is completely out of the blue.

Cheers.

 

[spacejunk]

some of those things sounds kinda healthy, if a little uncommon (eliminating social media etc) but if you're noticing him being less of himself, yeah i'd say that could from over-using psychedlics.

i wouldn't be too concerned, because - in my experience, at least - tripping that frequently gets old at a certain point. i certainly had a phase (or two) of tripping a lot, and the insights tended to get muddier and muddier, and the physical side of the experience, a lot less pleasant as time went on.

can psychedelics have a permanent, detrimental on people's lives and personalities?
i've little doubt they can - but on the other hand, a few people i've known have come out 'the other side' of frequent psychedelic use with little, if any, lasting issues.

i can see why you are concerned, as anyone would be with a friend telling them they don't really want to continue a friendship.
i know i've cut a few people out of my life over the years, but never actually said it to them directly.
sometimes i think living in a solitary way can be good for a person's creative process, but generally speaking, the idea that one must create (music, art, whatever) in a way that is cut off from their friends is a sign that something is a bit amiss.
personally i compose music better on my own - but that's not to say i don't need to also have friendships and companions.

sometimes as we get older, friends drift apart...it's happened to some of my best friendships - but frankly, the best friendships survived that, with time.

have you tried talking about it with him?
perhaps he was having a bad day, or was dealing with some kind of difficult trip (or the aftermath thereof)?

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

tell him that's nonsense and not an option. friendship is important.

 

[herbavore]

Whatever happened in your friend's mind is unfortunately out of your control. I can only imagine how hurtful this must be for you. It does indeed sound like an incredible friendship and those are not easy to come by. My suggestion would be to hang tight yourself but to give him a comfortable way to come back. Something along these lines: " I would be devastated to lose this friendship but I understand that you need to do what feels right to you. My door is always open and I would love nothing more than to have you come back through it one day. If there is ever anything I can do to help you or to support you, you know I will be there." And then the ball is in his court. TBH, it sounds like confusion to me so hopefully his head will clear and your very clear message of loyal friendship will be there for him. Good luck--I'm very sorry you are going through this. I have often thought that being rejected as a friend hurts far more than being rejected as a lover.

P.S. Wiki is not the right place for this so I am moving it to Life Advice and Visual Arts. It may have a better home in either The Dark Side or even Psychedelic Drug Discussion so we can always move it again if that does not generate better input.

 

[Xorkoth]

It sounds like your friend is in pretty deep. I will say I've had a couple of years where I tripped that much too. I sent my friends (who lived across the country since I had recently moved) various trip reports I'd written and would talk about psychedelics and 2012 a lot (this was in 2006/2007). Turns out they were all worried about me. I was fine though, I wasn't trying to quit my job and totally drop out or anything, I was tripping sometimes 3 or more times a week though, for an approximately 2 year period. I totally understand why they worried, for sure, and I WAS abusing psychedelics (and they didn't even know how often I was tripping, only people on Bluelight did). However I was not trying to stop my friendships with them, at all. One good friend said I definitely got kinda weird during that time from an external perspective, I was moving around a lot, was often bug-eyed and sometimes it was kind of intense to be around me.

Some of what your friend is talking about I support doing... personally I really strongly dislike social media, I think it's overall a negative influence on our relationships and culture. I also don't use my phone a lot, I mean I do text with people and stuff but I am never on the Internet or social media on my phone, or staring at it non-stop, and it bothers me a little when my friends do that when we're hanging out. I also agree with mindfulness, but the "He needs to focus 99.9% on the present, and for the sake of his creativity, he must go to the source and "find the thing that started it again."" statement makes me think he's definitely experiencing somewhat of a descent into that too-much realm of psychedelic enthusiasm/delusion. What I realized eventually was that, hey, I don't need to return to the source, I'm already there, always, where else could I be? Mindfulness is good, and appreciating the moment, but for better or worse we're living this dream now, and it's important to make sure you can support yourself, and not totally drop out of everything. Hopefully your friend is not planning to quit his job and sit around meditating all day because unless he joins a monastery or something, that's not a viable option.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with a friend trying to "dump" you. That must hurt, I've never had that happen with anyone close. I'd say herbavore's advice is great, let him know how you feel and let him have his space. In all likelihood this will resolve itself. I know for me, I reached a point where I burned myself out and quit taking psychedelics for 3 years. These days I take them, but at a reasonable rate of usage (twice a month or less on average). Even my period of abuse was something that eventually ended up being a learning experience. I feel for your pain, and I think you have a right to be concerned, but I think it's also likely your friend is going through a phase.

Maybe your friend feels like you don't support him in his ventures? Does his family know about this or are they expressing concern, do you know? Has he tried to cut ties with anyone else or his family?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Lava -> pd

 

[Clocktower]

I suspect that over-use of LSD is a symptom of whatever is going on with your friend, rather than the cause. LSD abuse can be very tempting for people who seek to retreat from life/society.

 

[pupnik]

your friend is reacting excessively in his personal zen dream
odd method to find the middle way - send him a text that you really want to hear how it works out.

 

[spacejunk]

^ or maybe write him a letter saying something to that effect?

Pen and paper, via snail mail. It's a lot more personal, thoughtful and seemingly fitting with his rejection of digital communication devices.
You obviously care about the friendship, and it could be a nice way of letting him know that.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I've withdrawn from friends recently, but I think that's just a symptom of growing up and aging rather than drug use. I work a full time job and I have a long term girlfriend, what little time I have free for friends is more often used as nap time, cleaning time, cooking time, errand time, etc. If you're reaching your mid-twenties, that's just the time when people start to go their own way and focus on something more akin to a nuclear family and how to support one. The acid use may be spurring weird shit (got rid of his wifi? Damn lol) but him moving away from friends is a natural progression of getting older.

By the way, I deleted all my social media too, years before I even got out of college. Maybe that's acid and maybe that's just some people getting sick of the fake-ness that social media embodies. For me it's a bit of both lol.