Mental Health brain damage -

[daddyDillon]

my head feels as if it has air or gas pockets in the back of it and i can hear them pop if i turn my head correctly or whatever, i feel as if it relieves me of this tension in my neck (possibly brain stem) but then again i can't tell and usually end up twisting and doing weird jerking motions with my head just to try and pop them all, they always come back though even if i pop all of them that i possibly can. especially more quick when i'm alone or haven't been doing the "right" thing i'll wonder if people know and are talking shit and basically puts me in a state of paranoia in which case i'll pop my neck swing it to shoulder to shoulder and up and down almost twitching it down whilst putting my hands on the back top of my head like holding a ball and pressing down the scalp at the same time as jerking/twitching it down and if i do it just right i'll hear pops like little bubbles yet make a decent sound of a noise when popping it's kinda scary this is just what i assume it is from research but i've spent hours and hours reading articles to no avail. when i don't have shit to do or something triggers (like literally my head just twitched to the left and my eyes are fixated on this passage i'm typing while it twitched. i believe my eyes are now used to moving convincingly with the tics/twitches) ot causes me to think about it or if i just feel a headache going on i'll think about my past life i just and bug out. i feel retarded and don't wanna go to the doc looking like a dumbass explaining my situation.

well until a few weeks ago, i finally went to a doctor, and am scheduled for a cat scan in a week. i pray for the answer to my problem as it's living hell on earth and want relief so fucking bad, yet i don't. i'm afraid the answer will negatively impact the rest of my life and i'll have no chance at ever being normal again because of something i did to it. cause i know i'm fucked up, i know how i felt overall before drugs started compared to now. i'm telling you no antidepressant no magic pill can fix me. i'm hoping that there is a tumor or some shit going on thats fucking with some nerves or muscles or something to do with my spinal cord/brain stem going up into my head or something. just something that's operatable and can be fixed once and for all. i'll never take life for granted ever again. thanks for reading and i just want to know how fucked up am i? what can i do?

 

[Vazkor]

Hi there!
Usually, when people go to the doctor thinking something really bad is happening to them, not much is wrong at all.
So, you're relieved the bad thing isn't happening. And a few days later, you find the next physical thing to be really worried about.
The problem is probably not your physical health. The fact that you worry about it, is the problem.
You can keep worrying and go to docters, right up till you're 107 years old. And then, they find something.
And then you die.
I hope you won't regret the time you spend in your life, being worried about this happening earlier.

Wishing you a great health till your 107th,

Vazkor

 

[Erikmen]

^ Irony aside, I think you raised a good point Vazkor. Not that OP does not have anything but maybe going to a psychologist can be a good or definitely a better choice, especially if one is wishing to have a tumor. Some people say that we make few of our worst conditions. I don't mean at all to generalize this at all but it happens more often than you think.

In case you are doing drugs I say you quit all of them or give it a break until you are feeling safer and your body goes back to normal.

Hope you get better!

 

[Vazkor]

Hm.... irony wasn't my intention.
I usually answer posts when I have some experience in the subject.
In this case I sometimes loose my vision in my right eye. A brain tumor seemed, of course, the most logical explanation. So got myself a brain scan. Result: there is nothing wrong with you. Just learn to live with it. Which I did/do.
A few days later, I was convinced I had a heart attack (from being overly worried about the brain tumor). It was just a sore muscle in my chest.

Since then I decided to take my bodies signals about imminent death a little less serious.

Which was what I hoped to tell daddyDillon.

Vazkor

 

[Nicholai]

When you 'pop' joints, you actually are dispelling gas pockets. They build up naturally. It's not harmful, don't worry about it. This is normal. At least that's what my doctor told me.

It sounds like you have some anxiety.

 

[daddyDillon]

yeah thanks for the comments guys. i think it's just my drug use... tbh now that i think about it it's not near as bas as when i am. the head popping sensation. wonder advice and makes sense. appreciation to all above )


lol this reply^ i don't even remember posting back too. i was fucked up on xanax. but yeah i have major anxiety and i learned tonight that if i just go for it (say to a bar or w.e with a bunch of fine bitches) i feel so much better about myself afterwards even if i dont take a girl home. im starting to believe in myself just in the past day or so. i can do it it's a matter of just fighting for it, lifes hard but giving up makes it a motherfucker. thanks so much for the comments above, wish you all have a wonderful life. seems you guys have it together, props.