Mollypop45
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2016
- Messages
- 13
So- I started in at my methadone clinic 2 years & 4 months ago. I had never done heroin, although I had many "friends" & had a boyfriend who was 110% in deep with it.. I guess that was the one descent thing about my ex is that he sure wasnt proud of the fact that he was hooked on heroin. Any time it was around or in front of me he was very protective & would tell people to get it out of the room or whatever. Instead, I had a very heavy oxy habit that not THAT many people knew about. For about a year before entering myself into the clinic I was buying dones' on the stree just to maintain & basically to prevent myself from falling into the heroin pit. Also, all the dealers around selling dones started charging more because they were harder & harder to get during a chunk of time.. So, I finally just finally said fuck this shit, I can just go to the clinic & not waste a shit ton of money anymore!
With that being said- I was defintley not in a sober mind set. I wasn't WANTING to get clean, I just wanted not to hurt or go through horrible withdrawals because I had a career to hold down. Before I got into the clinic, I was spending thousands a month on drugs, as all of us addicts do!
I finally end up getting into the clinic- they start me at 30mgs & I go all the way up to 98mg. I remember people telling me "hey, word of advice.. one day you're gonna wanna get out of here, you might not be in the mind frame now, but ONE day you will so just keep in mind that the higher you go on your dose, the longer & shittier it is to get out of here". I took that advice to heart, which is why I got up to the random number of 98mgs lol I told myself to stay below 100mg. So last summer in July of 2016 I decided I REALLY REALLY wanted off this shit. I decided I was going to taper as quickly as I could up until I started to feel any sort of discomfort, well the fastest my clinic will allow is 5mg a week, so I did that until I hit 40mg and then had to fill out another evaluation for to be ok'd to taper further. So I got ok'd to go down to 10mgs at 3mg a week. Well my magic number is apparently 17mg lol I was getting horrible sleep so I decided to go back up to 22mg and then taper back down slow aka: THE RIGHT WAY!- also side note *I have never ever had a dirty UA so I am at M13 (where I only have to come in 2x a month now) so Now I am tapering literally 1mg every 2 weeks. I know that sounds fucking ridiculous lol but I finally told myself to just accept that this is a process, and I know we've all heard/read this before but the slower your taper the better & easier & most importantly- more successful you will be! So once you hit a lower number, my advice is to listen to your body. If you feel any pain, insomnia, etc. slow it down!
My question is: does anyone have any advice
For the last 13mgs. Any insight?? I'm wondering what to expect when I jump off from the last 1mg to nothing. I know we are all different & react differently but I'm
Just curious what other people experiences are. It's a scary thing to think about, not physically but just mentally. Because I just DONT WANNA FUCK UP AGAIN!!! :}
- for anyone who got through this novel, thanks for reading! This was my first official post
With that being said- I was defintley not in a sober mind set. I wasn't WANTING to get clean, I just wanted not to hurt or go through horrible withdrawals because I had a career to hold down. Before I got into the clinic, I was spending thousands a month on drugs, as all of us addicts do!
I finally end up getting into the clinic- they start me at 30mgs & I go all the way up to 98mg. I remember people telling me "hey, word of advice.. one day you're gonna wanna get out of here, you might not be in the mind frame now, but ONE day you will so just keep in mind that the higher you go on your dose, the longer & shittier it is to get out of here". I took that advice to heart, which is why I got up to the random number of 98mgs lol I told myself to stay below 100mg. So last summer in July of 2016 I decided I REALLY REALLY wanted off this shit. I decided I was going to taper as quickly as I could up until I started to feel any sort of discomfort, well the fastest my clinic will allow is 5mg a week, so I did that until I hit 40mg and then had to fill out another evaluation for to be ok'd to taper further. So I got ok'd to go down to 10mgs at 3mg a week. Well my magic number is apparently 17mg lol I was getting horrible sleep so I decided to go back up to 22mg and then taper back down slow aka: THE RIGHT WAY!- also side note *I have never ever had a dirty UA so I am at M13 (where I only have to come in 2x a month now) so Now I am tapering literally 1mg every 2 weeks. I know that sounds fucking ridiculous lol but I finally told myself to just accept that this is a process, and I know we've all heard/read this before but the slower your taper the better & easier & most importantly- more successful you will be! So once you hit a lower number, my advice is to listen to your body. If you feel any pain, insomnia, etc. slow it down!
My question is: does anyone have any advice
For the last 13mgs. Any insight?? I'm wondering what to expect when I jump off from the last 1mg to nothing. I know we are all different & react differently but I'm
Just curious what other people experiences are. It's a scary thing to think about, not physically but just mentally. Because I just DONT WANNA FUCK UP AGAIN!!! :}
- for anyone who got through this novel, thanks for reading! This was my first official post