That the levels of stress would get ungodly high is still to be expected, for me it was insomnia (while I was also dealing with absence from work and the issues from that) which made it unrealistic for me to taper at home. It would at least help if there was someone to guide you through the process, a social worker, a GP aware of you withdrawing and the massive amount of literature that should prove the dangers and seriousness of it. A person who could administer it might be ideal, even if you don't like the person... so that you don't have to withstand the urge to relieve yourself of tapering steps.
Muscle wasting is to be expected from much inactivity, I participated in bootcamp when I was withdrawing, it was extremely hard to do on top of the withdrawals but helped a lot for the process. Hurts like hell but you need the physical reaction to that, the endorphins etc to get flowing again to offset the withdrawals.
For kindling, like I said: benzo antagonists - only when you're truly clean though! - are experimental but seem to work for part of the people / part of the problem. It doesn't seem responsible to recommend, but I might have looked into it when I was having PAWS.
Can be a nightmare but still IMO you ought to make a clear choice to wanna get better over getting worse. Getting better is promising though painful, getting worse always seems worse.
Very good that you're tapering - hang in there!